In the Airport

Sometimes changes happen with a big bang, altering life as you know it in a moment. Other times, changes sneak their way into your life, subtly shifting the sands around until one day you are struck by the change in the landscape. What you knew so well and for so long has been replaced by something altogether new.

I always was a little bit afraid of what would happen to me if I eased off on my relentless travel and work schedule, even while I knew logically that if I ever wanted a different life from the one I was living I would have to give it up. I was worried I would become boring or bored and I wondered what satisfaction I would find if I shifted my energy to my personal life.

Many people would probably thing it is ridiculous to get so much enjoyment out of professional achievements at the expense of stability in personal life, but I thrived on it. Getting the final sign off on my doctorate, finishing my first project as a team member, then as a team lead, then moving on and achieving even more in an international setting than I ever would have believed possible gave me a lot of happiness. Sure, the cost was always high. A trail of destruction in my friendships, my relationships and even a brief marriage was left in my wake as I continuously set off for the next adventure. I never saw at the time what I was doing; it just seemed to all implode on its own over and over again.

During a cold, lonely winter in Zürich something finally started to click. I was devoting far too much energy to achievement for the sake of achievement. Something echoed in my head over and over during that winter, a line from the last argument M. and I ever had. 'Do you want to be in your 50s, single and no family, working on yet another crazy project, living somewhere like Hong Kong?'

I pondered that question a lot in the winter of 2009. Sometimes I could really see that as my future. Traveling the globe, climbing the corporate ladder, dependent on no one. But then what? If that all came to pass, would I really look back at my life and be happy with how I lived it? Independence, strength and self-sufficiency are all good things but are they worth it at the exclusion of the many other things life has to offer?

As often is the case, even when I started to feel that perhaps it was time for a change, life doesn't just fall into place at that moment. My motto may have become 'Underachieve at work and enjoy life more' but old habits die hard.

I moved back to Munich while starting another challenging project in Geneva that then took me to England and the Netherlands at first and then off to Mexico. Next thing I knew over a year had passed since the breakup with M. and on the surface little seemed to have changed.

Mexico felt special to me at the time. I embraced the time there and felt very sad when I decided to leave prematurely and roll the dice on finding a new project closer to home. It seemed I had the feeling of saying farewell to more than just a stint in Mexico. I was saying goodbye to a way of life I had lived for nearly 10 years.

In the background, some things were happening that did not seem so significant at first glance. After a long wait I had found and moved into a new apartment in Munich. I started dating Mr. Kilt. Meanwhile my boss encouraged me to hold out for the very slim possibility of some work in Munich, despite some tempting opportunities in Paris and Switzerland. I mean, Paris...it took all my will power to say no.

Last weekend I found myself in the airport for the first time in what seemed like ages. This trip had nothing to do with work. I was off to another weekend in Scotland with Mr. Kilt, for a wedding. Sitting in the airport, I remembered the life I was already forgetting.

Packing took longer than usual because I was out of practice. My suitcase was dusty. No need to stress about landing, meeting 50 strangers and immediately trying to figure out how to work with them and motivate them to deliver the impossible project in the impossible timeline. I wasn't leaving my man behind for the 30th week in a row; he was right by my side, as he is most days of the week, keeping me company, making me smile and filling up my heart and my life with all those things I was never sure I wanted. I try every day to do the same for him.

I don't feel bored or unsatisfied without the travel. In fact, I don't think about it at all. I still have plenty of challenging work. Less would be just fine actually.

Mr. Kilt and I boarded the plane together with a herd of other summer tourists. I smiled as I realized I don't miss that old life one little bit.

Posted from Munich

Gatwick

Posted from Munich

Close Call

I don't know what my problem is lately with travel planning. I seem to be unable to accurately plan and execute a smooth trip. Maybe it's too much travel, too many different rules and regulations per country, airport, airline, etc. Too many lucky breaks where they have let me squeeze by so I didn't learn my lesson. Maybe I am just too blasé about whether and when I get there anymore.

Yesterday I was pushing my luck beyond any reason. My flight to Munich was at 9:55 AM. So for me that means check in at 8:55 is plenty of time for an airport the size of Cologne and leaving time for the German protocol.

However, I needed to return the rental car and here is where I made the big mistake. It takes 30 minutes to get to the airport from my apartment. So I left the house just before 8:30. What I did not calculate were the following:

- 10 minutues tanken (fill the gas tank)
- 15 minutes walk from rental car drop to check in
- quick check in no longer accepts credit cards as identification (only passport and confirmation number but American passports don't work)
- 50 people in front of me waiting to check in at the desk because they also could not use quick check in
- baggage drop line 20 people deep

So, flight at 9:55 and I am arriving to a check in mad-house due to previous calculating errors at 9:20.

Resigned to missing the flight I go through the last ditch effort to try to boot up my laptop and get my reservation number to do the quick check in. Laptop is crap and is taking an hour to boot up.

Then an angel with Germanwings stepped up and asked what I was doing. I explained and he grabbed me and took me to the front of the check in line*, we dumped the bag, got the ticket and off I ran to security (boarding time started at 9:25 and by now it was 9:35).

I walked up to the gate just in time to walk on the plane, sit down and take off. And the kicker is my bag even made it. Seriously, how am I supposed to learn this way? I guess I will pay for it next time!

Oh, and I am loving being back in Munich. It is a little weird after not living here for the last 8 months and how much life has changed since then. On the ride from the airport into town I had some mixed feelings about whether the past would dominate my emotions or my excitement about the future. So far so good and I am off for a walk to the Englische Garten. With snow in the forecast most of this week I need to get some sun while I can ;-)

* I really hate those people, even when I'm one of them.

Posted from Münich

Speed Bump

There used to be these two horrible speed bumps in the ramp down to the car rental return area of the Munich airport. They're gone now. I guess they finally realized that they are much more effective when you approach them with your own car.

Helluva Trip

I made it back to Munich but, oh, what a trip!

Aug 8 12:30 Leave Connecticut by car
Aug 8 17:45 Arrive PHL Airport, drop off rental car
Aug 8 18:00 Check in for 20:20 Flight to MUC, note 2 hour delay, ugh (in retrospect would have been happy for that)
Aug 8 18:20 Duty Free Shopping Spree
Aug 8 18:40 Settle into Envoy Lounge for 2 hour delay
Aug 8 21:30 Head down to gate to await boarding
Aug 8 21:40 Arrive at gate to find another delay tacked on, now departing 23:30
Aug 8 21:50 'Free' snack at closing snackbar
Aug 8 23:30 Announcement: We have two broken airplanes. Whichever is fixed first we will use for the trip. :-O Start to think about calling it a night and rebooking on Lufthansa, cost be damned. I don't want to die on a rickety old USAir plan somewhere over the Atlantic.
Aug 9 00:30 Tickets are collected. Still waiting to board.
Aug 9 01:00 Board and promptly fall asleep. Wake up for take off. Skip nostalgic farewell to Philadelphia skyline in lieu of falling back asleep.
Aug 9 01:12 Awakened by pop in ears and sudden rush of heat in the cabin. Convinced this could be my last flight ever.
Aug 9 01:14 Pilot announcement: We cannot maintain air pressure. The repair didn't work. We are circling and heading back to PHL. Sigh. At least we aren't going to die.
Aug 9 02:10 After circling for about an hour (I assume dumping most of the fuel) we make a landing back in lovely Philadelphia.
Aug 9 02:15 Announcement: Please stay on the plane. We will try to make the repair again. We don't know how long it will take but will refuel and wait.
Aug 9 02:20 Call M. Tell him the story. Fight urge not to run screaming from US Air Deathtrap. Tell him I love him in case we never see each other again.
Aug 9 03:20 Dinner meal served. In the absence of anything else to do, I eat it.
Aug 9 03:35 Announcement: Still working on the plan. Have to change flight crew. New crew expected at 05:00. Please deboard. You can take your pillow and blanket with you.
Aug 9 04:00 Fall asleep in waiting area. Wonder for the 100th time in my life, why do they only have seating with arms.
Aug 9 05:00 New flight crew arrives. Sky is pink and snack bar is reopening. Announcement: Crew here, fix nearly completed.
Aug 9 06:00 Wake up in time for boarding due to loud German kids arguing.
Aug 9 07:00 Take off (again). Plane fishtails for about an hour due to turbulence. Still convinced we might die. Fall asleep anyway.
Aug 9 21:21 Land in MUC. Never so happy to see it. Envious of all the people on Lufthansa planes, far outnumbering us.
Aug 9 21:45 Luggage is waiting before I clear customs, a sure sign I am back in the land of order and timeliness.
Aug 9 22:30 Joyful reunion with M.
Aug 9 23:30 Showered, fed and in bed.

Total time: 29 hours out of my life.

Posted from Munich

Delayed

Made my way past NYC again today, heading for the PHL airport. Arrived exactly on time (5.5 hours drive) only to find out we are delayed at least 2 hours. Damn you PHL! At least I am comfy in the lounge with snacks and beverages and internet.

I think if I ever end up owning a home, it will look like a combination airport lounge/hotel suite. It is the only interior decorating I have exposure to, with the exception of 'office'. I actually think the Basel Star Alliance lounge looks pretty cool. Airport chic. Ha.

If and when I get home tomorrow I have a week and a half to live in Munich before returning to the weekend rotation. I have a few ideas what I will be doing. Apparently our garden has decided to self destruct and needs some serious TLC. I want to finally try some Indian cooking before the cookbook I bought last fall gathers too much more dust. For M. I will try to do some Thai as well. I want to plan out the Oktoberfest party that has ballooned into needing at least some partial catering - our butcher to the rescue again! Dirndl shopping is on the list. I also would like to try to meet some people outside of M.'s friends and plan to attend a couple of the Toytown events while I am home. Finally, if any of the Munich area bloggers (no serial killers please) would like to meet up for lunch or whatever - drop me an email - would be fun to get to know some of you.

On that note, the location of the Third Annual Whiney Expat Meetup has been decided. Dresden it is! I will be attending if the date works out - sounds like a good time and I am curious about Dresden as well.

I am slowly being surrounded by German again. I guess the others on the delayed flight are settling in around me. I even think I still remember some after being away almost a month. Time for a little eavesdropping...

Posted from Philadelphia