Stockholm

Last weekend the Saffa and I extended the already long weekend and decided to take a trip to Stockholm. Actually, we had had other ideas about where to go for a weekend getaway but as it turned out he was just returning from a business trip to South Africa and had to be in Stockholm on Tuesday for another business trip so to keep it simple we settled on Stockholm.



I had no real expectations but was looking forward to a nice getaway as I travel so rarely now and felt the need for a change of scenery. We decided to stay at a B&B after seeing the hotel prices in the city. I normally don't like the B&B scene as I prefer the anonymity of hotels and have found B&B's always to be a roll of the dice on what you actually end up with. In this case we were in luck and the location turned out to be perfect. The room was very nice and private with a fantastic balcony and view over the city. We were in room SCE5 and would happily recommend it.



Stockholm itself also pleasantly surprised. We did the touristy things - harbor tour, bus tour, Wasa museum - and also just wandered around on our own quite a bit.

What stood out:

• We had a funny communication problem. We could understand the Swedes very well but they struggled to understand us, or at least that is what I think was happening. For example, if I ordered a Cola I got a Fanta. Or if the Saffa ordered an ice cream without any topping, he got rainbow sprinkles all over it. It didn't seem to matter with my American accent or his British accent, we both had trouble. So maybe it wasn't our English, maybe the Swedes just all have ADD.
• The city seemed much more influenced by American and British culture than in Munich. Pubs were everywhere and we saw our fair share of American style restaurants, clothing, cars, TV shows, etc. It seems the Swedes have a love of all things Harley. They were everywhere. Hot dogs too.
• The long, long days. Twilight came around midnight and by 3 AM it was bright as day again. I can't say we slept very well as our body clocks were completely confused.
• It is fun to try to imitate the language. In a high pitched voice with the tendency to put the accent on completely different syllables than I would guess by reading the words. Yes, this is the part where we were just making fools of our tourist selves but we were amused.
• There is something so invigorating about so much water everywhere. It wasn't quite like being by the ocean but the sun was hot, the breeze was cool and we couldn't help but feel uplifted.
• We had great meals the whole time. Breakfast rolls with cardamom, smoked reindeer, salmon, swedish meatballs with dill cucumbers, mashies, and lingonberries, shrimp salads with dill and avocado...it was all great. And everyday a soft serve ice cream in the homemade waffle cones they were freshly preparing in each ice cream shop. I did skip the pickled herring - maybe next time.

It was a lovely getaway for us and I would be happy to return again. It would be nice to make it a longer trip and we talked about going back next summer to spend a few days in the city and then head out to the country for a week at a house on the water.


Posted from Munich

On Love

They say when you know, you know.

When we met, I was a few weeks into dating Mr. Kilt. I had just started working at my new client and I didn't have a permanent desk yet, so I was sitting in a makeshift office, where others who might be in town for a few days sometimes used a desk temporarily. I showed up one morning expecting to have the office to myself, as I usually did, and there he was. We had talked on the phone a few times and I liked his sharp, dry wit and how he twisted my words around in a teasing way that always left me flailing in my use of the English language, as if I was a mere beginner in speaking it. He flustered me.

On that morning, the guy sitting in 'my' office stood up to introduce himself and (typical of meeting someone you only 'know' over the phone) he didn't look at all how I pictured he would be. As an American, when I hear a British accent, it draws to mind certain images of how the person should look and I shall leave it at that rather than risk being offensive.

In that moment of meeting, sparks flew and time slowed down and everything got quiet. Then we both kind of shook our heads to snap out of it, turned away, and went back to our lives. And that was all. I had never had that moment with Mr. Kilt, however I felt that it was time to give up on that 'we just knew' feeling at my age and after my experiences and live in a more pragmatic and practical world. Mr. Kilt was there, he treated me like a princess and he would be a good partner to have in life.

Still, in the autumn of last year, while I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, life was feeling very flat. There was no drama, for which I was glad, but sitting in my bedroom one morning after sleeping in too long again, the thought just popped into my head. I am not fun anymore. I had traded life's ups and downs for much more stability but instead of feeling fulfilled I felt very little of anything. I argued with myself that still it was better than life had been. I was not alone, I had a good job, the prospect of another good job on the horizon, discussions about a wedding and children and someone nice to share it all with. How could I seriously feel unfulfilled?

In the meantime, the 'Brit' and I got to know each other a little more but our discussions always centered on work. Nevertheless, I found out he was actually South African but had been living outside of London for about 12 years, had traveled around the world as a consultant, was divorced several years ago and has two teenage children. He came to Munich from time to time so we saw each other occasionally.

In November he was planning a trip to Munich and suggested we gather up some of the colleagues and go out for some dinner and drinks. I had a feeling I should not go. We had kept the door closed between us, kept the relationship professional and I did not want an evening out to rock the boat. But what was I worrying about? He had never said or done anything to indicate he had any of the feelings I did.

So we planned the night out and a group of us went out for dinner, then onto a bar for some drinks. Leading up to the night, I had butterflies and kept telling them to get lost. The night finally came, and as the evening went on, my carefully barricaded door was dismantled and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was in trouble. Because, I just knew. I knew he had the same feelings, I knew I could not ignore mine anymore. And because I didn't want to know any of those things!

My head and my heart fought a battle for the next days but I knew it was just a matter of time. I would break up with Mr. Kilt and give in to what I felt deep down inside. That I belong with this man - it is just meant to be.

Posted from Munich

Krakow

I have lived in Europe for over 3 years and this past weekend finally made a trip to one of my 4 ancestral homelands. I have been meaning to start making these trips almost since arrival in January 2006 but for one reason or another it never worked out. I am 3/4 Eastern European by ancestry and the rest Sicilian. I had been in Prague in Dec/Jan 2005 on my first trip to Europe and remember feeling a hint of familiarity in that foreign land in the architecture, food and faces of the people.



Over the last year I have become good friend's with a colleauge's wife, A., who is Polish. Although they live in Singapore now, she is home for a couple of months visiting family and friends and we had agreed to meet up somewhere in Europe. I knew it was time to make the trip, the first one in 4 generations so last Thursday afternoon I flew to Krakow for what can only be described as an amazing trip.



I have been reading up on the history of Poland and so had the basics. However, my friend A. is a history and language buff and explained so much to me over the weekend. She was an amazing hostess. As luck would have it, it was also Constitution Day on Sunday so we got even more of a dose of history and culture including a parade and an assembly for national and religious singing in one of the squares. The experience touched me more than my past travels. This time and this place had a personal relevance.



Lest it sound too serious we also had fun like crazy Eastern Europeans, did our fair share of eating and drinking, shopping and cafe hopping, A.'s friends coming and going throughout the day and evening to meet up and share their stories and their humor. It was absolutely impossible to pay for anything myself and everyone was on board for showing me around, recommending their favorite nook, view, food and whatever else they could offer to make the experience special. We got steamrolled one night from Polish vodka and apple juice and I was kindly asked to assure all non-Polish that this really wasn't typical but I didn't quite believe them. All in good fun!



I was supposed to fly home on Monday morning but on Sunday, at the insistence of my new friends, I rebooked to stay one more day. A. went back home in the afternoon and left me to spend the evening with her friend from university, S. We made a last tour of the city, stopping several times in cafes for the last Polish apple cake, plum ice cream and finally for a late dinner at a Hungarian restaurant. I liked hearing his stories about growing up in Poland, Communism, challenges working in the global economy, outlook for the future, impressions of Americans and other foreigners, Catholicism, food and the age old questions of the meaning of life.

I hope it is not too long before I go back to Poland. I miss it already.



Posted from Munich

Whiney Expat Blogger Meetup 2009

It's never too early to start thinking about the next meetup!

I didn't make it last year due to geographical constraints but I can tell you the Dresden meetup of 2007 was a lot of fun!!

For those who have their doubts, I know meeting people who you only know through the internet and blogging may seem like a strange concept. However, you are in good hands with this group and I hope I am in the right country at the time to make it myself this year.

Consider how many people out there understand the situation we are in on a day to day basis. Probably most the people from your pre-expat life have no clue about the joys and sorrows, amusement and frustration that you go through living amongst and with the Others. Whether you are perfectly integrated or still finding it hard to remember to bag your own groceries with your own bag, there is something great about getting together with people who share this common bond with you and who understand without words what your typical day and range of emotions are like. I can promise there will be words though, lots of them! And laughs too!

So what is it like to meet whiney expats in person the first time? Normally when you meet people you get an impression and make judgements of them based on their outward appearance and then over time get to know what's inside. The most surprising thing to me at my first (and so far only) meetup was that the process works in reverse. You have an understanding of a person that is quite personal, depending of course on what they share on their blog, and then after this 'relationship' of weeks, months or years, you finally see them in person. No one was as I pictured or heard them in my imagination. I still giggle whenever I remember J exclaiming, 'I thought you would be a blond!' Let's not try to sort out if there is an insult in there or not ;-)

For now it is all about the location. Register here and cast your vote! Later the date will be decided.

So finally I leave you with some write-ups of past meetups from others who lived through the experience to encourage you to give it a shot if you are on the fence...

2005 Marburg
2005 Marburg
2006 Bonn
2006 Bonn
2007 Dresden
2007 Dresden
2007 Dresden
2008 Bremen
2008 Bremen
2008 Bremen
2008 Bremen

Posted from Cherry Hill, NJ

Love At First Sight

Posted from Zürich

Day 5

Day 5 on the island. My hair is a frizzle frazzled poof and I have an oil slick on my face. Lunchtime is a choice between rice or noodles, noodles or rice, fruit punch and pineapple. I think I have gained 5 lbs this week alone. Dinners out are absolutely delicious - perfect Chinese, Japanese, Indian, and Thai - I can't get enough. Overall, Singapore gets two thumbs up even if I look a disaster.

I went out with a couple of colleagues last night for some lychee martinis. Yum. We went to the Orchard Road/Emerald Hill area and the place was hopping for a Wednesday night. I noticed again the equal mix of Caucasian and Asian - I thought it would be more like when I went to Mumbai and felt I really stuck out as a foreigner. The vibe here is more like what I am used to in the US than what I experience in Switzerland and Germany - people are more loose and relaxed, laughing and playing around - just having fun. We were sitting outside but I could hear from the bar inside the crowd was singing like crazy when ABBA's Dancing Queen was playing. If M. would come here with me I would love to spend a few months traveling around and seeing some more of Asia.

Work has been interesting as well. I have not had a perfectly smooth time as I find the cultural barriers are significant and with one individual who now reports to me I am really struggling to make it work. I can ask many times why that is but I don't know that I will ever truly understand.

The teams from the region are cute - they sit clustered around each table according to country, like little islands. Taiwan seated just behind China, sort of together but still kind of separate. The women from Thailand giggling if you so much as glance at them. The men from Japan are serious and intense, H**-san sometimes drifts off for an afternoon nap. The Singaporeans and Malays move to their own schedule, sometimes where they should be, sometimes not. The Indians are chatty and vibrant, especially the women in their Saris. The Indonesians always look like they would rather be out partying and socializing. The Koreans are full steam ahead in their dedication. And plunked in the middle are the Aussies, their sense of humor in sharp contrast to the rest. It's a bit dysfunctional but an experience I am happy to have.

Tomorrow it is finally the weekend and my colleagues from Europe are planning some club fun, some sight seeing and some R&R. It means I can do some photography too! Can't wait!

Posted from Singapore

Singapore First Impressions

I arrived in Singapore about 6 hours ago. Flying in I could see the giant puffy tall clouds that only seem to thrive in tropical places. Last time I saw them was when I went to Hawaii. All around the island were hundreds of ships, some queueing up to dock. Approaching the runway, which was surrounded by a golf course, it looked more resort island than city but quickly that impression was dispelled.

I rode to the hotel in a taxi and was impressed with the nice parks and beautiful trees and flowers and the fastidious landscaping. Buildings seem to vary between more antiquated and even a bit shabby to very modern. A lot of building is in progress.

I met up with a couple of colleagues and we headed out to dinner in the Riverfront area. The sidewalks are immaculate, perhaps tidier than the Swiss (!). It's hot and muggy and air conditioning is a welcome relief in all the buildings. I have definitely jumped straight into the heat of summer.

We had dinner at a Thai restaurant then dessert at Haagen Daaz. Singapore is clearly a globalized city, for better or worse - Mcdonalds, Burger King, Ben & Jerry's, Hooters, even an Auntie Anne's pretzels.

I have to admit I know almost nothing about where I am or the history of the city. Asia gets skimpy coverage in the average American education, at least of the past. English is heard and spoken everywhere here. I see as many Western people as Asian people. I LOVE that it is Sunday night and everything is open and ready for business.

Tomorrow is the first day of work here and we have quite a crowd - from Japan, Korea, Taiwan, China, Australia, Singapore, Thailand and more. I just hope I manage not to offend anyone too much!



Posted from Singapore

American?

I stayed in Basel this weekend since M. is in the US and I have a week of hell coming up and wanted to cut back on the travel and rest. The Frenchman is on vacation, 5 new team members are joining us this week and 50 end users are arriving on Monday for their first attempts to test the new system. One of my client team members was stranded in town this weekend too, so we decided to go to dinner on Saturday night and do a little bar hopping afterwards.

Dinner was great. We ate at Bodega zum Strauss, an Italian restaurant on Barfüsserplatz, although I had sesame coated seared tuna with avocado wasabi sauce, which doesn't seem very Italian. Delish!

My colleague is from Finland so we had some great conversations about Finland, Finnish attitudes, culture, history, sports, etc. We were the last two in the restaurant, giggly and laughing at the end in part due to our nearly empty bottle of Sicilian wine but also just girls being girls.

We even agreed to pull a prank on the Project Romeo and this had the stiff Swiss waitress glaring at our peals of laughter for a good 20 minutes. (Side note on the Project Romeo - every project is guaranteed to have at least one Project Romeo, a guy who trys to woo all the ladies secretly but who ends up being the project laughing stock when it comes out that he applies the same sad tricks indiscriminately to all. Typically the Romeo's outing occurs at a social gathering of the ladies, after they have too much wine, when someone decides to tell the story of what Romeo has tried recently to seduce her and about 10 women in the room pipe up - he said/did that to me too! At this point he has no chance but serves him right anway.)

Anyhow, we headed out and after passing on a few bars, settled into one of the Irish pubs in town for a couple of ciders. We were chit chatting away when the inevitable happened. The statement that comes sooner or later in one form or another with most Europeans I get to know.

You aren't really American.

Last I checked I have an American passport, a loud mouth and occasionally still revert to wearing a baseball cap in public on a bad hair day when running errands. I never know how to take this statement or any of its kin that imply I just don't fit the 'American profile'.

On the one hand it is a sign that whatever prejudices the person who uttered it had originally, the barrier is now down. It is a sign of acceptance. Maybe I am somehow different from most Americans or maybe the American stereotype is just that. On the other hand, I feel like I am betraying my country somehow, or am not authentic, or that even if I am ok to hang out with, this person clearly does not like my countrymen or country as a whole and I am just an exception to their rule.

I hope one of these days I know what the right response is to that statement.

Posted from Basel

Dresden

I knew I would like it when we pulled up to the light and next to us stood a burned out old brick warehouse with smashed windows. My favorite cities always combine the same elements - a great former glory coated with dirt and achy human sadness and yet signs that there is hope and a bright future to come. To me, the best cities force you to think of the past, to imagine yourself in it and who you would be had you been born at that time, in that place. Yet your mind also can't help but flit about, too restless to focus on the present, instead seeking the satisfaction of building up a piece of it - the house that looks too far gone or an old garden overrun with weeds perhaps.

Dresden has all of that. Old and new and newer still. M. and I inevitably talked about WWII and the DDR and who thought what and why did people do what they did. A city like Dresden leaves you with a lot of whys.

M. was trying to understand why I like these moody kind of cities. For him affluence and a vibrant appearance are the best characteristics of a city. Maybe it is my childhood in Philadelphia, a grungy city mixed with the overactive imagination of a child's mind. I constantly renovated the streets and the houses and the gardens of that dilapidated city. Maybe it is even more subliminal, something passed down from my Eastern European ancestors, something neither genetic or envronmental but there nonetheless that makes me connect with these Eastern cities. I think, though, that more than anything, I like how there is a balance in a city at a turning point; it seems to mirror the human mind and spirit, where all possibilities lay ahead but only time will tell if happier or darker times are ahead.






Posted from Basel

Anniversary

Where was I one year ago tonight?

Spending the first night of my life in Switzerland, at the Ramada Inn. I had landed in Munich on Saturday morning after saying a sad farewell to Washington DC. On Sunday M. drove us to Basel. I met his parents for the first time, who live just over the border in Germany. I was horribly jet-lagged and worried to meet his family when I felt completely in over my head and exhausted from the move and wondering if I made the right decision to come.

After dinner we headed back to Basel and went for a walk around Basel so I could learn my way around a little bit. I was impressed right away with (to use my Mom's favorite word) how cute the city was. We shared a toast at the Campari bar to a successful start to my life here. Shortly after, I went to bed, hoping for the best on my new project and making it on my own in Europe after M. left for work in Hamburg the next morning.

It was extremely cold and windy and the morning was dark so late. In my top floor hotel room I watched from behind the security of the glass walls as the little city came to life in the pre-dawn. Smoke curled out of the chimneys and smokestacks of the local industry. The train-set trams rolled along on their tracks and people were bundled up against the cold as they headed to work in singles and pairs.

No more stalling. I showered and dressed and bundled up in my new warm clothes, feeling safe and snug against the cold, more from the knowledge that I had bought them with M. who wanted me to be warm during the long cold winter than from any protection they could afford against the bleak, frosty days. I opened the door of the lobby, and joined the others heading off to work.

Posted from Basel