Expat Nesting

My maternity leave started a week ago. Although I know that I should be kicking back, relaxing and enjoying the last quiet moments of my life (according to friends anyway), it is hard to go from 240 km/h to idle after so many years. Last week I 'worked' a full week from home supporting my backfill and taking care of various odds and ends and I plan to continue at least part time the next couple of weeks. I am ready to let go and am grateful to have a colleague I have known for nearly 10 years from my former company backfilling me while I am out.

Another friend asked me last night if I am nesting yet. In the traditional sense, that hasn't hit me too hard so far. The Saffa and I did a more small steps approach to preparing for the baby over a longer stretch of time so we could savor the experience rather than be overwhelmed. We have clothing, an awesome pram (I can't believe the Saffa has me calling it a pram now), almost everything for the hospital bag assembled, the nursery is painted, critical furniture is bought, birthing class is finished, midwife has been found, hospital selected and so on. We have narrowed down the Pea's potential names to two options, one we chose two weeks after I found out I was pregnant and the other that seems to fit Pea's pre-birth 'personality' a little better - final decision will be after birth. Mom's ticket is booked to come over for 10 days in October. All in all quite a bit has come together and I thought we were ready.

This weekend the Saffa was on his annual camping trip in the UK with his two older children so I had some time. And google. And therein lies the problem. What started as a simple query to find out how we can get Pea an American passport for our trip to the US over Christmas and New Year has resulted in my entrapment in a tangled web of internet information and misinformation around Pea's options for nationality, passports, birth certificates and extra documents needed because both parents are expats, divorced, and (horrors) not married (yet). Most worrying of all, it looks like Pea can never run for US president! Ok, I joke on the last point but nevertheless I seem to have opened a nasty can of worms.

My hormones conspired to increase my anxiety by prompting me then to look into Pea's health insurance options, daycare options, how to apply for my and Pea's benefits and soon enough, the spin out was complete. Well done on my part!

So, a taste of the fun that has just begun:

As a short background, we have potentially four options for Pea's nationality (US, British, German and South African). I wanted Pea to have American citizenship no matter what, no question, as there are various situations I could imagine where Pea would want/or need it. I also thought it would be a good idea for Pea to have dual citizenship and after discussion with the Saffa, who had no strong preference to go for South African citizenship, we decided an EU citizenship would be most beneficial in providing additional options (so either German or British, preference British).

As mentioned, while having a little time on my hands this weekend, I decided to look into what is required to take care of the American citizenship. I went to our friendly Munich consulate webpage and found out that it is not a given that Pea will be an American citizen. Huh?! Brief panic attack.

After more extensive researching of all the relevant links on the State Department's website, it seems for our specific case we need:

• Application for Consular Report of Birth
• US Passport Application Form
• US Social Security Application Form
• German Birth Certificate
• Both of Our Passports
• Both of Our Divorce Decrees
• Evidence I lived in the US
• German Acknowledgement of Paternity (Vaterschaftsanerkennung)*
• German Statement Regarding Custody (Sorgerechterklärung)*

Once I could boil down all the info and compare some anecdotes on the internet it doesn't seem to be too bad actually but it took awhile to get to that point. We are missing some of the Saffa's documentation so he now is on the mission to acquire them. The only stress there is how long some of it will take to gather. Some websites actually suggest bribes as the only means to get a copy of a South African birth certificate in the next year, for example!

I have no clue how to get the last two items so need to check into those more but they surface again in other places due to the way German law works around paternity rights and obligations for unmarried couples. (Sidenote, we plan to get married and it might seem easier just to do it before Pea is born but don't even get me started on what would be required in Germany for two expats, both previously married, to get a marriage license and certificate in Germany - no chance to make that happen before Pea is born).

The gathering of info and documents to get other documents is similar across the board for all the things Pea needs. Only way I can deal with this bureaucracy, the internet confusion and language challenges is by breaking it down step by step in a trusty excel spreadsheet. The Saffa's approach is to make phone calls. Easier and faster but I have been caught out in the past when I actually show up and the story has changed.

I feel like I can't relax until everything is clear and sorted. Is this a special version (expat style) of nesting instinct or just another bout of German and International bureaucracy anxiety attack?

We will get there step-by-step and hopefully are not way too late with anything!

* Bonuses for not being married, otherwise we would only need a marriage certificate.

A Doctor Visit

As part of my new job I will get a company pension. I thought those died off decades ago. Nevertheless after having no company sponsored or matched retirement package for the last three years since transferring to Germany, I am pleased to have it back.

In order to qualify for the pension, I had to get a medical certificate stating that I was fit to do my job and generally in good health. So the new company booked me an appointment last week for a full physical on Friday and by Monday all the results were in and I was given a clean bill of health.

However, I still find it surprising what is included in a physical in Germany versus what I ever remember getting in the US. In the US, I would meet with the doctor for maybe 15 minutes, chat about my family medical history, clarify if I had any specific issues or complaints and then after a check of the heart and stomach area, using only a stethoscope and tapping with hands, I would be sent on my way for some blood work.

In Germany, it is a 90 minute event. First I started with a consultation and asked the basic questions, similar to what is done in the US. Then, I went to the exercise room where I was hooked up to monitors and rode a bike to check my lungs, heart, blood pressure and general fitness over a period of time and with increasing resistance on the bike.

Immediately upon finishing, about 8 vials of blood were taken to check thyroid, blood cell count, cholesterol, cancer markers, iron, and so on. Once that was complete, I was given a full (and messy) ultrasound - neck, back, chest, abdomen.

The appointment was on a Friday and the results for everything were available on Monday already. I can't remember ever waiting for less than a week to get any results in the US.

While I'm sure it is still possible that something could be missed, I still feel better for getting such a thorough physical and happy that everything checked out ok this time.

Posted by Michelle

Wellness Weekend

In the midst of a stressful few weeks, set in what has been an extremely busy year, this weekend was a welcome retreat from it all. Mr. Kilt planned a surprise getaway and only instructions I had were to leave the stress behind and pack comfy, casual clothes and a good book.

We picked up a rental car on Saturday morning and headed southwest towards the mountains. The weather has been unbelievably warm and sunny, almost like late springtime weather. A couple hours later, past the rolling hills of the Allgäu we arrived at a little resort nestled in the mountains and checked into our cozy and kitschy room. We had a big picture window facing the mountains and kicked back on the sofa, taking in the view and the warm, fresh air from the woods.

Towards late afternoon we went down to the sauna and enjoyed the steam bath and the Finnish sauna. Afterwards, we had a 5-course dinner and wine and then an early night where I slept the best I have in ages.

The warm, sunny weather made an encore appearance on Sunday and after a leisurely brunch we headed to Andechs for a look around. It was crowded owing to the nice weather but a beautiful drive up past Ammersee and then on to Munich afterwards with the Alps visible for mile and miles. Lovely!

It was nice to get away and a great surprise. I have to admit it's the first Sunday in a long time where I have felt recharged and ready for the week. I always though the term 'Wellness Weekend' was silly but maybe the Germans are on to something after all.



Posted from Munich

Berlin

Vacation? What vacation?

I have a foggy memory of overeating and too hot weather and a whole lotta cats.

Continuing on the theme of 2010, which seems to be 'Busy on Steroids', I hit the ground running when we returned and haven't had a chance to catch my breath since.

It's not all the details of the trip that are really so interesting to write (or read) about but it was a lovely trip and a walk down memory lane with Mr. Kilt by my side. A friend commented on my facebook photos that they made him feel very patriotic (he also is an American expat living in Munich). I didn't have that as a conscious goal but I noticed that when I photograph places I travel to, I end up taking photos that not only show how a place looks but also help me to recreate how I feel about a place. I was showing Mr. Kilt my favorite parts of America and, maybe, just maybe, I was a bit proud of the place.



We flew back on Sunday night, September 12th, and landed on Monday September 13th. Mr. Kilt is not so keen on flying and was having no part of returning on September 11th. His parents arrived for a 5 day stay that afternoon. And I started German class (4 days a week, 2 hours a night) that very same evening.

I had a frantic weekend at home trying to get a few more home projects crossed off the list (my office space is really shaping up now and I have a guest bedroom that is ready for B&B duty) before the influx of Wiesn visitors this weekend.

This past weekend we made a hectic and disorganized dash to Berlin so Mr. Kilt could run the Berlin Marathon (his first and, he says, last marathon). His training was nowhere near what it could or should have been with all the other things going on but I am really proud of him. He ran the whole thing and had a time of 4:26. We managed to find each other in the rain and I dashed through the crowd to give him a big hug and something to lean on. In the next couple of hours I doctored him up and saw him off on the train and for whatever reason felt full and content.

Berlin is oh so amazing. We were limited in what we could see and do as the focus was on the marathon and the weather was terrible all weekend but I must get back there soon with some more time to explore and photograph. I am not sure I could live there as the place put me in a strange mood. There is some kind of emotional current running through the place and it felt raw, alive, sad, hopeful, defiant, new and rundown. WEBMU 2011? Yes, please.



I can barely keep my eyes open so better roll over and get to sleep. First Wiesn visitor arrives tomorrow and 7 more on their way for Friday. My Wiesn, League of Nations style.

Good night.
Posted from Munich

Sunday at the Hirschgarten

It was a rough night for team USA last night who were eliminated by Ghana (2-1) from the 2010 Football (Soccer) World Cup. I decided to go whole hog in supporting the team and got decked out in a white sundress, straw cowboy hat and 3' by 5' American flag. I showed up at the AugustinerKeller beer garden two and a half hours before the game and had to wait about an hour before any of my friends showed up.

(Tip for single ladies, show up at a beer garden along, in a summery dress and cowboy hat and big American flag on the night of the US-Ghana game and you will meet loads of people...maybe not all the people you would like to meet, but still.)

What can I say about the result? Well, it sure was a lot of fun supporting the American team through their four appearances in the World Cup. It's a little strange being such an underdog and having most serious football fans thinking of our team and our fans as the cute younger brothers, trying to imitate everything the big brother does.

Mr. Kilt was hosting a bachelor party in Munich for a good university friend of his and they joined us to cheer on the States (well, mostly). We drew quite a few looks - one bachelor dressed up in dirndl and long, curly-haired blond wig, 11 friends of the bachelor mainly all from Scotland causing general havoc at the beer garden, 4 actual Americans, and random other hangers-on from Ireland, Austria, and Sri Lanka.

After the game, I headed home, walking absent-mindedly down the street, wrapped up in my flag. Chants of OO-ES-AH could be heard in my wake, and a few people actually stopped me to say good game or they were sorry we lost.

The game whet my appetite for the England-Germany game today. I climbed on my bike after lunch and headed to the Hirschgarten to watch the game with a few friends and several thousand rabid German fans interspersed with an England fan or two, clinging to each other for support.

I felt sure Germany would win and was not disappointed. The atmosphere was amazing. Finally a hottish summer day, crowds of people cheering at the top of their lungs and rewarded with a win for their team.

Only a couple more weeks to ride the ups and downs of the World Cup. While it is not by any stretch my favorite sport, any sport that captures the world's attention like football does is sure to resonate with me. All they have to do is show scenes of painted up fans and celebrations from around the world and I immediately feel simultaneously excited and dewey-eyed. It would be extra sweet if Germany manages to win the whole thing!



Posted from Munich

Niederlassungserlaubnis

Once again, I spent a morning at the Place that Shall Not Be Named, hopefully for the last time. In October I applied for permanent residency in Germany and this was the first chance I had to go back to see if the application had gone through.

In Germany, as an American citizen, you typically have to wait five years to qualify to apply. While I have been in Europe for just over four years now, the clock only started in October of 2007 when I became an employee of my company's Munich office. Germany has a program to immediately qualify applicants if they are specializing in certain career fields and make a minimum income on a permanent German contract. At first I did not qualify due to the income requirements but the law was changed in December 2008 and I could then apply. At that time, I was living in Zürich and not sure I was coming back to Munich but that was actually one of the deciding factors for my return to Germany last March. I did not like being bound to my employer to live in Europe and wanted to have more flexibility if I wanted to stay in Germany but leave my job.

The woman who had handled my application was out sick today but her grumpy colleague was happy to assist (sarcasm). After waiting two hours, it was my turn and finished in a matter of minutes. I am very pleased that I now have more control over whether I stay or go and who I can work for. Some friends have asked, does this mean I am a German citizen. Well, the answer is no, I am still an American citizen and have no plans to change that. Also, if I leave Germany for too long I lost my residency so it's not truly permanent, only conditionally permanent.

So, I have a brand new American passport as of Monday good for 10 years (although my 4th since living here) and my permanent residency. Maybe I can avoid some bureaucracy for a little while. At least German and American bureaucracy.

Posted from DB Train