The Urge to Pair Up

It's no wonder that the last thing on my mind right now is dating, but I can't help but notice that if you are single for more than 10 minutes, people immediately assume it's time to fix that problem. Just like if you are dating someone for more than 10 minutes, they want to know what your plans are and when are you getting married. It doesn't end there. Once married, the questioning turns to when will you have kids. And of course, once you have kids the cycle starts to repeat itself on them.

When I happen to point out in these various circumstances that I am happy with the way things are, the reaction is always dismay, disbelief and the aggressive pursuit of convincing me that I am wrong. It's nice that other people are interested in my happiness and flattering that they want to help, but I actually think this pushing is more about them than me.

Whether for their entertainment or some kind of self-validation of their own personal status, it is always kind of funny to listen to all the arguments why I should date, get married, have kids and so on. I quietly wonder if they are trying to convince me or themselves.

So it has started again. A year ago all the talk was when would M. and I get married. Now it is all about Let's Find You a Man. Resumes are being collected, phone calls being made and the arranged 'accidental' bringing together of the single people to see what happens has commenced.

Seriously. Stop. The. Madness.

In other happenings, some of my former colleagues in Singapore called me yesterday to tell me they have a good spot on their project there if I want to put my name in for it. It really doesn't look promising to stay in Europe now as things get slower and slower and I am surprisingly (to myself) not too set against going back to Asia. For sure I would really prefer to stay here but it is better to be employed in Asia than unemployed in my parent's basement (though they may beg to differ).

We'll see how things shape up in the next couple of days.

Posted from Zürich


G in Berlin said...

I don't actually do this to people- primarily because I don't know any good singles to pair with my friends who are interested (wrong continent, wrong sexual inclinations, etc) but cut your friends slack: they try because they are happy and they want you to be so as well. At least, I hope so. In my increasingly jaundiced view of the world, that's still a bright hope: that people really do mean well when attempting to pair off friends.

Michelle said...

G- I know you are probably right. Maybe I am being too hard on them :) Right now is just completely the wrong time to push the topic of dating on me.

Expat Traveler said...

We have been debating this issue. IS single better? And also, why is it that the human race seems to want to be with someone or needs someone. Aren't we just better off with great friends and no hassles?

Michelle - you are doing the right thing. Take it easy and concentrate on YOU right now.

My parents did the same exact thing to my brother. They were asking him when he was going to have kids before he even had a girl friend! I think it's a human instinct or a north american "ideal way"...

I would also agree that you need to go where the jobs are right now. You will experience different cultures again, but if you can find something where you are, stay!

Good luck and remember to go out and photograph because I know that will make you smile!

Wish I could be near to go for a cup of coffee and make you smile!

Diane Mandy said...

Oh I used to hate when people would do that to me. Then I got married and all the questions were about when we'd have babies.

Trust me, the nonsense (even though it's well intended) NEVER ENDS!

aimee said...

singapore would be exciting! maybe you could move to australia or s. america after that?? no doubt that whatever you do you'll be great. i always use you as an example of someone who really does make the most of wherever you are. hope it works out how you want.