9.5.07

Honey Do

In life there are the people who fill the ice cube tray and the people who don't. There are people who replace the toilet paper roll and people who leave it for the next one to drip dry or worse. Take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, refill the hand soap bottles, feed the pets, do the laundry, sort and toss the old mail - when you have a choice, you do it or don't depending on your inherent nature.

When you are living on your own, whatever your natural tendency, you temporarily step out of character as there is no one to pick up the slack. There are the telltale signs of your latent preference though. The laundry piles up for weeks and has been recycled countless times. The garbage always gets a little on the smelly side. The bills are paid a few days late month after month. In the end, we all have a tolerance level, and when something must be done, something is done.

In relationships, few ever take this into account when we search for our ideal mate. We start a life together, blissfully in love, and blissfully unaware of all of these quirks of each other's personality and the impact they may have on the relationship. We ask ourselves, is this the person for me? Does he make me happy? Could I count on her in good times and bad? Do we want the same things in life? These questions are all good and important too but that's the mile high view.

What if we asked the really tough questions? Once your socks hit the floor, will they ever overcome gravity and find their way elsewhere? Once you start the washing machine, will the clothese ever make it to the dryer before they dry in the washer? Do you ever fill the ice cube tray (or in Germany, are you aware you can make your very own ice at home if you want to and if we do, will you ever fill the ice cube tray?) Do you see a clean, flat surface as an invitation for clutter or a beauty to behold?

We are all on our best behavior at first and going the extra mile to make life as perfect as possible. Over time, we get to those questions and, in even more time, to the real answers. And then?

And then accept him or her for who he or she is because you will never change him or her. Ever. Appreciate him for what he does. Ask yourself if you could do more. And get used to taking the garbage out.

Posted from Basel

3 comments:

Carol said...

Oh... so VERY true! This is why I encourage my kids to live with their perspective life mates before marrying. Although Tom and I did that, and I still think he was on his best behavior for every one of those 18 months!

Carol

Ola said...

I love this post! All this is so true!!!!

christina said...

Amen!