By A Thread

I forget sometimes how fragile my situation is here. I fight with my boyfriend. I turn down a weekend getaway to a new city. I lay around on the couch reading a book on a beautiful sunny afternoon meant for exploring the neighborhood. I plant flowers in the garden and invest in our apartment. In short, I live like this will go on forever. Time stretches out seemingly without end but already it has been a year.

I want to forget that I don't have so much control over my situation. I always want to be the one to make the decision. My company is reorganizing and the once open door to a transfer here may be closed for the immediate future. The project that was to last until late next year could send me back home as part of a budget replanning. Stability is a mirage but I'm not ready to go yet.

Then comes the question of questions in the intercultural relationship. Where will we live? And the obvious follow on question. What sacrifices are you prepared to make for that choice?

The answers will come when they need to. I hope not too soon though.

Posted from Basel


Jul said...

Good luck with everything! I hated how much our life in Milan depended on my company there - it's no fun to not have the control. But remember, you can always find a new company...

ann said...

I have recently been confronted with what I have, in fact, given up for a relationship (thank God not for the one I am in - that makes it easier) and just want to wish you the best, and hopefully as much time as you need to decide what you want.

megan said...

These are not easy choices when you both already have established careers. But at least your career can take you abroad, which means even if it takes you back to the US you could find your way back over, perhaps with a new company if need be.

International relationships can really suck but something great about them is how quickly they let you cut through the crap. Neither of you would be in this for long if you didn't really feel it was worth it. This will lead to hard choices and compromises at some point, but hopefully with great rewards.

That said, when I was still dating my husband, I didn't see how we were ever going to manage to be on the same continent. Instead of being frustrated, I stopped planning too far ahead and took things weeks or months at a time. I couldn't have predicted that four years after my first two month trial visit that I would be living here, speaking the language and working for a great company.

It can work without having to give it all up. If he's what you want, or once you know that for sure, you'll find your way. No doubt about it.