14.5.06

Work and More Work

The last few months have been some of the most stressful of my professional career. I was promoted to manager last fall but continued in the same position on my last project until I came to Switzerland in January. And that's when things changed.

Some might think it has to do with the international aspect of the project but I don't think so. A project in our global company is pretty much the same everywhere, especially when there are people from so many different countries working together.

No, the real problems are two-fold. First, is the project and how it was sold. The only penalty when our client doesn't deliver on their end of the deal is on us. We work harder to meet the deadlines to make up for what they don't do. And there is a lot they aren't doing right now. Even the effort that I am driving is one that they were supposed to wholely own and drive since it is their area of expertise, not mine. The second problem is me. In this already stressful environment, I am struggling to deliver at the next level to which I was promoted last year. I just don't seem to have some skills necessary to manage my way out of this difficult situation.

As a result of all this, I keep working and working. Day, night, weekend. When I'm not working I'm stressed about work. When I'm sleeping, all I dream about is work. It is becoming depressing. I only see two options at this point. Either get a lot smarter in managing the problems (becuase working hard isn't resolving anything) or get out of this situation. For now I take the first option because leaving doesn't really seem like an option.

Last year at this time, eveything was the exact opposite. I was very successful at work but was sad about being in a long distance relationship and not being really settled in my personal life in any way. Now, work is a nightmare but my personal life is very happy and in many ways that is more important to me.

The Brazilians at work have a saying, "You can never have all three at once: Money, Health, and Time". It doesn't exactly fit this situation but gets at one of the frustrations in life. Is there a time in life when all areas are under control? Seems like there is always something...

Posted From Connecticut

2 comments:

Expat Traveler said...

hang in there Michelle! I'm guessing at times, there is a learning curve but know you are in the right place and things will pull together. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that your hard work pays off. Hey look at it this way, at least you aren't waiting aorund for other people to stop controling your life!

J said...

Amen to ET's last sentence. I did way too much of that last year.