Saying Goodbye

I've always hated saying goodbye. I tend to avoid it whenever possible. Now you see me, now you don't. You won't get a big announcement, I don't want a party, I won't seek everyone out for a tearful hug. Goodbye is a private thing for me and it is something I deal with internally. Publicly, I treat the last day just like any other day.

When I graduated from college, I didn't make a big fuss. I went to the ceremony. My family took some pics. Then I just hopped in my car and headed up the Jersey turnpike for my last summer in my parents' home. I played all the 'greatest hits' my friends and I had listened to for four years. I reminisced about the first day, the first apartment, the first keg party, the last exams and all that went in between. And what would never be again. But the tears I shed were shared with no one.

When I moved away from DC, I threw all my stuff in a truck, walked around the empty apartment and heard the echoes of the good times and laughter and friends who had filled it up over the years. I looked at the holes in the wall where my pictures had hung that would be patched up and painted over. All traces of the marks I made on that apartment and that city would soon vanish forever.

I'm having a hard time imagining this 'goodbye'. I know I only have two more trips to CT and my family and after December 27th I don't know when I will be back again. My 2 and 1/2 years on my current client in DC have been a great experience and I will miss this group of coworkers, now friends, so much. And America. How do you say goodbye to a country? This goodbye is almost mind blowing.

I prefer to focus on hello.

Goodbye, backyard