JeweledConcrete

Rebalancing

2012-02-04T15:23:00.000+01:00

I was at lunch on Wednesday, the weekly lunch I call the Mommy lunch, and a friend mentioned that she had a good article for beating the baby blues and making sure you keep an identity outside of being a mom. I replied that I guess we all have different challenges, even with so much in common at the moment. In this case, there are no women I have met at the Mommy lunch who have any concrete plans for a return to work. It's a 'someday/maybe' kind of thing for them right now.

For me, the return to work is on the near horizon and the last thing I am feeling is baby blues, any kind of identity crisis or that I might spend too much time focused on my baby at the expense of myself. I love being Pea's mom and I am cherishing every undistracted minute with him. Well, except for the moments of fearing that when I go back to work I am not going to be there enough for him.

Because of this fear, I have played through all the options and scenarios - returning as planned, not returning to work for the time being, going part time, changing jobs and possibly location, weighing the impacts of these alternatives on the Saffa, guessing what they would mean to Pea and to my career - and not found the perfect 'have it all' option. It doesn't take a genius to understand there are 24 hours a day and fitting in precious family time, reaching personal goals, achieving financial stability and enjoying life is either going to mean giving up on sleep and burning out or, more realistically and what I think will be crucial to navigating the next months, prioritizing, compromising and rebalancing our lives as a family. (Unless we win the lottery. We'll hang onto that as Plan B for now though.)

With the holidays in the rearview mirror, this was all weighing heavily on my mind when I received a call from the new C-level responsible for my part of the company's organization (the predecessor resigned end of 2011). Before this call, I had tossed and turned and spent a sleepless night trying to decide what I should say to him. I worked closely with him previously before his promotion, had asked him to be my mentor when I joined the company last spring and have a great deal of respect for him and in turn he knows me, my strengths and weaknesses pretty well. I viewed his promotion positively for both the company and for my future endeavors. However, I could foresee that with my new personal priorities and the intensity of my responsibility for establishing a new organization and managing the current fires that I could be entering into rough waters and, to be quite honest, was feeling overstretched before even returning to work.

So when the first question he asked in the call was if I felt I could handle my position alone in the coming months, I told him honestly that I had some concerns. He shared with me his personal experience from when his second child was born, his family was living isolated in a foreign country and his work situation was stressful and requiring beyond excessive hours. The impact on him and his family was as you could imagine. He then offered to adjust my responsibilities for the next 6-12 months by partnering me up with a more senior woman in the company until we get over the the hump of some of the challenges at work and to allow me a better work-life balance on re-entry. It still won't be an easy road and I am stubbornly independent by nature, but I felt flooded with relief and had the sense that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I have a month to think about the offer and we will discuss how to proceed in the beginning of March. While it may mean slowing down my career trajectory somewhat, I think it is the right thing to do for Pea, the Saffa, the company and myself. A first compromise and re-prioritization. The first of many, I suspect.

Posted from Munich

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

2012-01-24T20:10:00.002+01:00

Back in August last year, I posted about the paperwork and bureaucracy nightmare we were facing with the arrival of Pea. It seemed overwhelming all of the paperwork we needed to fill out, we had choices to make about citizenship and we wanted to be sure we did not miss out on any benefits we were eligible for but did not know too much about all the rules and how to apply.

So now it's five months later and how are we doing?

German birth certificate - the hospital took care of sending in the appropriate information to the correct office in Munich. However, they would only issue it with Pea having my last name as the Saffa and I were not married. It would have been ok if the Saffa had his birth certificate, however, he needed to request a copy from South Africa and this did not arrive until we already had a birth certificate for Pea with my last name.
Once the Saffa's birth certificate arrived we applied for the German acknowledgement of paternity (Vaterschaftsanerkennung) and had the birth certificate re-issued with Pea's last name changed to the same as the Saffa's.
We then had a separate appointment to file a German Statement Regarding Custody (Sorgerechterklärung) and for this one we were required to bring an interpreter as neither of us are fluent in German and they want no misunderstandings in this area. We made the acquaintance of a very nice lady who helped us with the interpretation for a reasonable rate and if anyone in the Munich area needs her contact info, please feel free to drop me an email.
After all this (plus being a new mom) we were down to about three weeks before our planned trip to the US and needed to get Pea his passport. We decided to go with the American passport first and spent the morning at the Munich consulate. In the end they cared nothing about most of the documents we were told to bring and didn't even look at them. They were most interested in whether or not I was really an American. I brought my graduate school transcripts to prove I had been in the US for several consecutive years and also my first passport, which was only issued in 2003, meaning I should have spent my first 30 years in the US.
In less than two weeks, we had Pea's report of birth abroad and certification of citizenship through 'documentation' and his US Passport. His social security number arrived last week.
We clarified that he is not eligible for German citizenship as I have not had a permanent residency for the required 8 year minimum and German citizenship is not conferred through location of birth.
The Saffa is just starting the process to apply for Pea's British citizenship but the Brits seem downright disorganized about this compared to the process we went through with the US, so we'll see how long this takes. The Saffa is still deciding about South African citizenship.

Regarding Kindergeld and Elterngeld, I also used the interpreter's help for the applications. The Kindergeld application I could have done on my own, this was relatively easy. We also received the feedback after a couple of weeks that we were approved and the back payments were already made and now we should receive the monthly payment going forward.

The Elterngeld was considerably more complicated to fill out. I sent it in at the same time as the Kindergeld but received a response that we did not submit one document. Unfortunately, I am nearly certain I put it in the application and it is no longer in the house that we can find. It is a document that cannot be re-issed in copy to us but must be directly requested now by the agency responsible for Elterngeld. Hopefully we are not at an impasse as this is this more significant money we are entitled to that is meant to recoup some of my wages that I do not receive while on maternity leave.

So all said and done, we are slowly making our way through the process and learning bit by bit. My advice to any expecting parents is to first make sure you have all your own documents in order (birth certificates, divorce papers if applicable, proof of citizenship if you are going for American citizenship for your child and so on). If you are bored on maternity leave, I would also recommend to fill out as much as possible before the baby comes. Afterwards it gets a little busy!

Posted from Munich

Advent Calendar December 10

2011-12-19T11:13:00.001+01:00

Christmas Party.

The Saffa and I decided to host an open house holiday party this year. We thought it would be fun to invite our friends by for some food and drink so we could see everyone before the end of the year and before we headed off to the States to spend the holidays with my family. Knowing it was a busy time of year, we made the invitation for an extended 8 hours and asked people to drop by when convenient for them and stay as long as they liked.

The Saffa and I went into a shopping, cooking and baking frenzy in the days leading up to the party. We made way too much food but we had a blast doing it. After years of hoping that the Kitchenaid mixer price would come down to the realm of affordable for the common folk in Europe (compare 240-320 USD to 400-500 EUR), I finally gave up and we decided to by a Kenwood kitchen machine. We gave it a good workout for the holiday party and since and I will say that although for a pure mixer, I still like the Kitchenaid better, the attachments on the Kenwood have been really cool (citrus juicer, blender, food processer and the yet to be tried juicer, meat grinder and some of the slicing and dicing blades).

For posterity, our menu:

Appetizers
Nuts
Cheese Platter
Smoked Salmon Spread
Cocktail Meatballs
Spinach Artichoke Dip
Veggies and Hummus
Chicken Liver Paté
Baked Brie en Croute
Crackers and French Bread

Desserts
Gugelhupf
Mini Cheesecakes with Blueberry Topping
Christmas Cookies (Spritz, Linzer Cookies, Vanilla Kipferl, Michigan Rocks)
Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
Fudge

Drinks
Augustiner
Red Wine
Pink Prosecco
Homemade Egg Nog (Recipe from Betty Crocker, this was outstanding!)
Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows
Coffee and Tea

We lit the fire all day, the weather cooperated with a beautiful, steady snow all day, our Christmas tree glowed and it was a warm, cozy day filled with fun and friends.

I would happily do it all again next year but would simplify the menu a bit as there was just too much food for the number of people and I think some of the dishes got lost in the crowd, if that makes any sense.

We're all warmed up for the holiday season and ready to make our way over to the US on Wednesday!

Posted from Munich

Advent Calendar December 4

2011-12-05T10:25:00.001+01:00

Decorate the Christmas tree.

As a child my parents usually got us an advent calendar, the kind with the little doors that opened to reveal a chocolate surprise inside. I always loved that although I am not sure how commonly children in the United States have them. They have these same type of calendars in Germany. All of the chocolate manufacturers produce at least one version, if not multiple. I haven't had one in years and decided I would get one for us this year. I came close to buying one several times but never could decided about one over another.

Then a few weeks ago I was in Tchibo and saw an idea I liked even better. They were selling a set of felt pockets labeled 1 to 24 that you could fill yourself with anything you like. I picked it up and on Friday we started our own family tradition. For each day I put a little piece of paper with an activity that we could do together. This kind of 'fill yourself' advent calendar is very popular in Germany and comes in many different forms. In fact, the advent calendar itself was invented by German Lutherans who started the tradition of physically counting down the first 24 days of December.

The Saffa pulls out the day's paper each morning and then sometime during the day we do the activity. For example on Friday night, the activity was a dinner date, Saffa's choice of restaurant. When he got home from work, he had made his selection and the three of us bundled up and headed out for some sushi. It's hard to have a peaceful dinner when you are out with Pea. Not because he isn't good - he is very easy to take along and we have done so on numerous occasions - but because he attracts a small fan club where ever we go.

Yesterday's activity was to decorate the Christmas tree. Although we will spend Christmas with my family in the US, I still wanted to get a tree and decorate it. It's our first Christmas as a family and I wanted us to get into the spirit together. We're also planning to have a Christmas open house next weekend and it didn't seem right to not have a tree.

We picked up a tree just down the road from our apartment on Saturday, a gorgeous Nordmann Fir, and set it up yesterday. We also lit our first fire in our wood stove and at dusk lit up the tree candles. While it makes me nervous to have open flame near a tree, there is really nothing as beautiful as the tree lit up with little white candles. Magic.

All in all, I hope this becomes a family tradition every year as it has been a lot of fun so far and I am looking forward to the activities for the rest of the month.

Posted from Munich

My New Family

2011-10-19T18:44:00.000+02:00

Today Pea is five weeks old. I've been in my own little world in these last happy weeks, barely noticing much else besides my son's beautiful big eyes, coos and gurgles, button nose and endless facial expressions. Summer has retreated once again and the days have become shorter and shorter. Whenever I say that I always think of my father saying 'No, the days aren't getting shorter. They are still 24 hours long.' yuk yuk.

My mother came to spend 10 days with us. It was a lovely visit but as I always have to admit at the end it passed too quickly. Still, it was wonderful to be able to introduce Pea to his Oma. My mother decided being called Grandma didn't quite suit her and decided she would prefer Oma. I guess it's like swearing in another language. You just don't feel the full impact of the same word in your native language. Regardless of what she prefers to be called, she loves having Pea in her life, the grandchild she had given up on having.

The Saffa and I are settling into the routine of taking care of an infant. The Saffa is a fantastic father and loves spending every minute possible with Pea. He went back to the UK for a few days while my mother was here for his son's 16th birthday. After my mother left I had a couple of days to take care of Pea on my own. Happily he was a very good boy and we could manage but I have to admit that I much prefer the feeling of completeness when the three of us are together as a family. It just feels right.

Now that I am more or less healed from the c-section and settling into a rhythm of taking care of Pea and our home, I am trying to soak up and enjoy every minute of this time. Although the return to work is 6 months away, I am sure it will fly by quickly. I would love to have a longer time with Pea at home; it feels too short to me. I already know if we have a little brother or sister for Pea that I will be taking off longer next time. Even when I go back to work, life has new purpose and priorities and I want to spend every possible minute with my family.

So, not a lot of blog posting going on lately but all is well. All is even better than that.

Posted from Munich

Autumn Soup

2011-09-23T19:32:00.001+02:00

The weather has transitioned towards autumn and we are enjoying beautiful sunny days with crisp dry air. The sun is still keeping us warm but not with the intensity of a couple of weeks ago. Whenever the weather makes this annual shift, my comfort food craving kicks in and I start thinking about roasted dinners, warm, rich soups, hearty stews and casseroles and above all pumpkin pie.

This year I decided to try to make some things from scratch with pumpkin. Canned pumpkin is not readily available in Germany and although I have one can I brought over from the US last year, I was curious how tedious it is to start with an actual pumpkin.

I decided to try a spicy pumpkin soup modified from a Jamie Oliver recipe. The changes I made were to half the pumpkin (I used a hokkaido pumpkin) and bake it cut side down in a tray with a bit of water for 45 minutes at 180 Celsius. I replaced the chili powder with thai chilis (2 chopped up). Other than that I followed the recipe and it was fantastic.

What kinds of cool weather comfort foods do you like?

Posted from Munich

Pea Has Arrived

2011-09-22T13:14:00.000+02:00

Pea is here!

He was born on September 14th at 18:41 CET by emergency c-section. Emergency c-section after 12 hours of labor, full dilation and beginning to push. Nothing like a dramatic entrance to the world!

I'm not sure I will post the full story as I am sure it is too much information for the blog but I think I will capture it for his baby scrapbook. I may come back to a few points that may be of interest for other expat women given birth in Germany at a later time. It was an amazing experience in all ways imaginable.

The highlight for sure was hearing the first cry (followed by the doctors announcing he already knows how to pee *snicker*). I elected to stay awake for the c-section as I wanted to meet that baby as soon as he came out of me. The Saffa was sitting by my head and all I was looking into his clear blue eyes, still encouraging, still supportive, as I could feel the doctors tugging Pea out of me and then I heard the cry and sure enough, I started to cry too. Within minutes they had done a quick check and given the ok and the Saffa, Pea and I were all huddled together, a new family, as they stitched me up. His little face was so beautiful and he seemed so aware, too aware for a newborn, and I was overjoyed and overwhelmed with emotion after a long, tough day.

We came home from the hospital on Monday and have been adjusting to our new life day by day. Life is good.

Posted from Munich

A Growing Family

2011-09-08T17:21:00.000+02:00

Back in July I took a flight with the Saffa for the weekend to London for a special visit. We were going to meet this children. The Saffa, like me, is divorced and, unlike me, had two children in his first marriage. I had to get permission from the doctor to make the flight as I was past the airline cutoff but it was a trip that we really wanted and needed to make. Since things had moved so fast with us, practically nothing fell in quite the right sequence in our relationship so it was not the first time we found ourselves moving outside of what well-established protocol dictates. At times that has been unsettling but not because I ever felt insecure or unhappy about us directly. It was more the impact on those around us that I was concerned about.

And nothing was more concerning to me than the impact on his kids. The Saffa's son is 15 and his daughter is 14 so not young but not adults yet either. He had been open with them about us and what was going on from the start. It took some time for them to process and eventually accept the situation. Throughout the spring and summer, the Saffa split his time between Munich and London, which I fully supported and encouraged. As the time passed, we decided it was time to meet.

We arrived in London on Friday evening and settled into a hotel nearby and got ready to spend the day together on Saturday. I think the most nervous one was the Saffa on Saturday morning. I had no expectations and decided I needed to just take it all in stride, however it went. At their age and given that they live with their mother, there was no expectation from any of us that I act as a mother to them. In fact, it was requested that I not try to play that role. Cool family friend or aunt would be my ideal.

We pulled up to the house and the Saffa's daughter approached us from across the street with their dog that she had been out walking. She avoided eye contact and chatted with her father before going into the house to finish getting ready. We walked into the hallway and his son came downstairs and said hello and told us we were early. Eventually they got ready and we made it out of the house and off to town. We had decided to see the final Harry Potter together and before then to do some window shopping and have a Starbucks together. Slowly we all warmed up a bit and got to chatting. To be honest, at that age, I think kids in general prefer to be with their own kind than any adults so conversation topics were a bit start and stop and sporadic.

Nevertheless, by the time we went to the movie the ice had been broken. After the movie we went out for dinner and a little more shopping and then dropped the kids off so they could get ready for the Saturday evening plans. We drove off and I could see the Saffa was pleased how it all went and I was glad we had all more than survived the first meeting. I like his son's sense of humor and while a bit shy at first he opened up and was fun to talk to. His daughter is a real firecracker and is an excellent rugby player and thinking about becoming a lawyer. I love that they both have his big blue eyes.

A couple of weeks ago we brought them over to Munich for a long weekend. It was probably more fun for us than them but was a nice visit and we showed them around Munich in the sweltering heat, took them to their first beer garden and generally tried to keep them entertained. It was great spending some more extended time with them and hope they will be frequent visitors in addition to the time the Saffa and at times Pea and I will spend in the UK. They are coming to the US for a week after Christmas to spend time with us there and we have plans for them!

I still have concerns about the Saffa being around for them enough while being based here but I am hoping we all can find the right balance. They are great kids but still need both of their parents around at this stage in their lives. Ah, modern families!

Posted from Munich

Baby Shower Cupcakes

2011-08-28T11:16:00.002+02:00

Last night the Saffa and I did a little baking. He made his South African version of lemon meringue pie and got to experience firsthand the fun of trying to back one of his usual recipes in Germany. It looks delicious to me but didn't come out as he expected (been there, done that!). I made some cupcakes and we decorated together. Needless to say, both are not allowed on the diet but today we will have an exception for the shower. It's a gorgeous day in Munich; the crisp air feels like a first taste of autumn and I love that time of year. The only drawback is that the wasps are out in full force and we had a small invasion in the apartment this morning of about 10 wasps. Terrible!

Posted from Munich

Food Blogs

2011-08-26T08:48:00.004+02:00

While the pregnancy has been seriously restricting my diet, I find myself lusting after beautiful cakes, cupcakes, pies and bars on a number of food blogs I have found haphazardly through Pinterest photos. I love food blogs and was tipped off a couple of years ago to a couple that are famous (Orangette and the Pioneer Woman) for their writing, recipes and gorgeous photos. Over time I have found more and more blogs that I like to read not only as a source of recipe inspiration but also creative food photography.

Food photography is a passion of mine and if I were independently wealthy I would make it my career. Now that I have stopped traveling in the last year or so, my hard drive is mainly full of food, glorious food. For the most part I cook and 'style' my own food now and much more than eating the results I get excited about capturing the perfect shot. Friends and family are kind enough to send me various links and groups that give tips for improving and growing my food photography repertoire.

I am not an artistic person but I still need an artistic outlet and for me food and photography are the perfect combination to use as that outlet. I have a web site that I have been hoarding for quite awhile and debating how to use and have been kicking around the idea to build up around this hobby. I have no clue how to actually make that happen so if anyone has any tips on what applications are relatively simple to use for non-technical people to build their own websites, I would welcome any suggestions or experiences you may have in this area.

Happy Friday and here's to hoping the heat in Munich breaks as is predicted.

Posted from Munich

The Final Countdown

2011-08-18T08:03:00.004+02:00

The doctor confirmed yesterday that Pea is locked and loaded - baby's head is all the way down and as he said, 'He's waiting but not quite ready'. Tomorrow is 4 weeks until the September 16th due date, which seems to be the one day all the doctors agree the baby never comes on. It seems that one way or another in the next 4 and 1/2 weeks I will have this little baby because the doctor is not willing to let me go more than a few days past the due date because of the gestational diabetes. So, anyone care to make a guess on Pea's birthdate?

I thought I would take a few minutes to comment on my pregnancy and post-pregnancy team for those who are interested in who is involved and how in the months leading up to birth, who will attend the birth and what support you get in Germany after birth. I could think of no better term than team although they are all working independently from each other to a large extent but given the number of pokings and proddings and happy encouragement I am getting from all of them it definitely feels like a large support team.

First and foremost, is the Saffa. While no expert on pregnancy or childbirth, he does have the experience from his two older children and has been calm and supportive through the year, attending every doctor visit possible, keeping me busy and active, encouraging me and picking up some of the effort around the house, shopping, cooking and whatever else I couldn't manage at one point or another, and smoothing over rough patches. He's kept me smiling through the ups and downs and I can't imagine doing this without him.

The next member of the team is my gynecologist. She has been my doctor the last couple of years. I saw her for the first time during pregnancy about 2 weeks after my home pregnancy test and found her much friendlier and open than the normal German doctor, who is very clinical, has limited bedside manner and sends you packing with orders but no explanations or interest in your opinions on your health and or treatments. Standard protocol for each visit was an ultrasound to check the size and development of the baby, urine and blood tests, a question and answer session and explanation of any variations from that routine when needed. Visits were about once a month in the beginning and have become more frequent towards the end. In these final weeks, I go once a week. One thing that I think did not occur to her and where I assumed I would get more advice was on when and how to engage the other members of my team. I think it was a given to her that I knew what else to do and it was a given to me that she would alert me as to when to choose a midwife, a hospital, attend birthing classes, etc - as a result I was late on almost everything else as I stumbled across these things more by accident than anything. More on that later. I didn't always know even what questions I should be asking.

By far the two most expensive doctor's appointments I had were with a doctor specializing in pre-natal ultrasound. The first appointment I had with her was around the 13 week mark to perform a nuchal translucency screening (an examination that looks for soft markers for Down's syndrome). Combined with blood test screenings, the doctor gives you a result presented as odds you will have a baby with Down's Syndrome. There can be false positives and false negatives, so depending on the results you may elect to go on to an amnio for confirmation. I debated whether or not to have the test at all and barely got in before the 14 week cutoff due to this debate. I couldn't imagine I would really do anything different as a result but in the end decided that this non-invasive test would at least give me an idea of the odds and if high it would be worth to know in order to have time to understand and prepare for what was ahead. The second visit was for the detailed 20 week scan where she checked for everything possible from brain development, heart function, deformities, size and so on and impatient me could find out the sex of our baby. During both of these visits I felt conflicting emotions as I hoped everything was ok but at the same time was completely entranced with the images of our little baby on the big, high resolution screen. Truly beautiful and a moment of wonder and on the second visit both the Saffa and I were a bit teary eyed seeing Pea in so much detail. We were elated for days afterwards.

Next came the diabetes specialist. At the 26 week or so, the routinely given GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) came back showing that I had gestational diabetes. I was sent off to a specialist to repeat the test with more accurate machinery and when this again came back positive, they quickly accommodated me with the dietician. The doctor and the dietician only spoke German but we managed fine and I was shown how to test my own blood, walked through a suitable diet and then left to record my sugar levels four times a day for a week with the modified diet. A follow up with the doctor showed that the diet was keeping the sugar levels under control and I was turned on my own to experiment a bit to extend the diet and monitor my levels, only needing to return if I saw my sugar levels creeping or spiking up. It's been a mixed blessing - I miss having sweets and carbs but haven't put on as much weight as I would have and generally have felt very good on the low carb, low sugar diet.

Around the 30th week I came to know that I was supposed to have a midwife. I suppose I was somewhat aware of this earlier but never really looked into what this was all about, when I needed to get one and how. After extensive reading and research, the first consideration when deciding on which midwife you would like to have on your team is whether or not you want the midwife present at your birth or not. Midwives in Germany perform a range of services from regular checkups similar to the doctor prior to birth, birthing and baby care classes, attendance of the birth and home visits to care for mother and baby after birth. If giving birth in a hospital, you will typically be attended by the hospital midwife staff so many women opt to have their midwife only for the pre- and post-birth services and work with the team at the hospital during the actual birth. If going for a home birth, birthing center or hospital birth you can also pay additional to have the same midwife present at the birth. My key advice and one of my lessons learned is that it is never too early to select a midwife. By the time I started calling through a long list of recommendations and listings for midwives who speak English around my 30th week, they universally agreed that I was way too late for selecting a mid-wife and the situation was made worse by it being holiday season in Bavaria so many were not even available in August. At this point, I decided I had no choice but to work with the midwife staff at the hospital as I was going to be lucky to get anyone at all. Finally two weeks ago after more calls than I can remember, a midwife center took pity on me and I now have a midwife for pre- and post-birth care. On top of that, other than having to interact in Denglish from time to time, I also happen to really like her. We meet once a week and she checks on my and the baby's health, answers any questions I have and performs acupuncture on me. The Germans, especially in the Munich area, are big believers in the use of acupuncture to help prepare the body for labor and also to shorten the overall labor and delivery time. For me the jury is out but I decided to give it a try and find the sessions very calming and meditative if nothing else. Once we are home from the hospital, she will come to my house 1-2 times a day up to 10 days after the birth to help with recovery, breast feeding and baby care. From 10 days after birth on, she will come less frequently over the following weeks to continue to help with any of those points and to make sure Pea is progressing normally.

Last, but not least, is my deliver doctor and the team at the hospital. A major difference from the US is that doctors are split into specialties by prenatal care and then those that focus on labor and delivery. So rather than have a doctor who will be with you the whole pregnancy and delivery (or at least another doctor from the practice), you have to select a doctor for the birth separately. My gynecologist recommended him and the hospital and the Saffa and I took a stroll by the hospital one evening - it is walking distance from our apartment and next door to a very nice beer garden. I knew right away that this was the place I wanted to go - the building is in a calm neighborhood, surrounded by big shade trees and dappled sun and it felt very peaceful there. We went back a few weeks later for the hospital information session and although it was all in German I could follow most of the presentation. I liked the doctor very much. He had an obvious passion for his work and there was a very friendly synergy between him and the other staff at the presentation. Yesterday the Saffa and I went to initiate the full registration, met the doctor 1:1 and had an examination with him to see how things are progressing. I liked his responses and philosophy on all the questions I asked and feel we made the right decision on hospital and doctor. The staff were also friendly but who we will have for the delivery will depend on who is on duty on the time so will have to reserve comments on that for a later post. I have a weekly mommy and mommy-to-be lunch and a few of the new mothers have given birth at the same hospital recently all agreed that they were very happy with the care they received there so I feel further reassured.

The last person I should mention is my birth preparation teacher. I found one who is American-German who offers classes in English and completed the class last weekend. She covered topics such as newborn baby care, as well as labor and delivery - from multiple angles such as preparation, breathing techniques, positions, what the body is doing during the whole process, what is normal and when you need to take urgent medical action and so on. I thought the class was very good and also found the instructor very encouraging. I have supplemented the class with a couple of books that helped reinforce my understanding of the process and options. I don't think you can be fully prepared from classes and some books but I am prepared as I think I can be and after some earlier fears am calmly and optimistically looking forward to the big day(s).

Posted from Munich

Expat Nesting

2011-08-16T10:03:00.002+02:00

My maternity leave started a week ago. Although I know that I should be kicking back, relaxing and enjoying the last quiet moments of my life (according to friends anyway), it is hard to go from 240 km/h to idle after so many years. Last week I 'worked' a full week from home supporting my backfill and taking care of various odds and ends and I plan to continue at least part time the next couple of weeks. I am ready to let go and am grateful to have a colleague I have known for nearly 10 years from my former company backfilling me while I am out.

Another friend asked me last night if I am nesting yet. In the traditional sense, that hasn't hit me too hard so far. The Saffa and I did a more small steps approach to preparing for the baby over a longer stretch of time so we could savor the experience rather than be overwhelmed. We have clothing, an awesome pram (I can't believe the Saffa has me calling it a pram now), almost everything for the hospital bag assembled, the nursery is painted, critical furniture is bought, birthing class is finished, midwife has been found, hospital selected and so on. We have narrowed down the Pea's potential names to two options, one we chose two weeks after I found out I was pregnant and the other that seems to fit Pea's pre-birth 'personality' a little better - final decision will be after birth. Mom's ticket is booked to come over for 10 days in October. All in all quite a bit has come together and I thought we were ready.

This weekend the Saffa was on his annual camping trip in the UK with his two older children so I had some time. And google. And therein lies the problem. What started as a simple query to find out how we can get Pea an American passport for our trip to the US over Christmas and New Year has resulted in my entrapment in a tangled web of internet information and misinformation around Pea's options for nationality, passports, birth certificates and extra documents needed because both parents are expats, divorced, and (horrors) not married (yet). Most worrying of all, it looks like Pea can never run for US president! Ok, I joke on the last point but nevertheless I seem to have opened a nasty can of worms.

My hormones conspired to increase my anxiety by prompting me then to look into Pea's health insurance options, daycare options, how to apply for my and Pea's benefits and soon enough, the spin out was complete. Well done on my part!

So, a taste of the fun that has just begun:

As a short background, we have potentially four options for Pea's nationality (US, British, German and South African). I wanted Pea to have American citizenship no matter what, no question, as there are various situations I could imagine where Pea would want/or need it. I also thought it would be a good idea for Pea to have dual citizenship and after discussion with the Saffa, who had no strong preference to go for South African citizenship, we decided an EU citizenship would be most beneficial in providing additional options (so either German or British, preference British).

As mentioned, while having a little time on my hands this weekend, I decided to look into what is required to take care of the American citizenship. I went to our friendly Munich consulate webpage and found out that it is not a given that Pea will be an American citizen. Huh?! Brief panic attack.

After more extensive researching of all the relevant links on the State Department's website, it seems for our specific case we need:

Application for Consular Report of Birth
US Passport Application Form
US Social Security Application Form
German Birth Certificate
Both of Our Passports
Both of Our Divorce Decrees
Evidence I lived in the US
German Acknowledgement of Paternity (Vaterschaftsanerkennung)*
German Statement Regarding Custody (Sorgerechterklärung)*

Once I could boil down all the info and compare some anecdotes on the internet it doesn't seem to be too bad actually but it took awhile to get to that point. We are missing some of the Saffa's documentation so he now is on the mission to acquire them. The only stress there is how long some of it will take to gather. Some websites actually suggest bribes as the only means to get a copy of a South African birth certificate in the next year, for example!

I have no clue how to get the last two items so need to check into those more but they surface again in other places due to the way German law works around paternity rights and obligations for unmarried couples. (Sidenote, we plan to get married and it might seem easier just to do it before Pea is born but don't even get me started on what would be required in Germany for two expats, both previously married, to get a marriage license and certificate in Germany - no chance to make that happen before Pea is born).

The gathering of info and documents to get other documents is similar across the board for all the things Pea needs. Only way I can deal with this bureaucracy, the internet confusion and language challenges is by breaking it down step by step in a trusty excel spreadsheet. The Saffa's approach is to make phone calls. Easier and faster but I have been caught out in the past when I actually show up and the story has changed.

I feel like I can't relax until everything is clear and sorted. Is this a special version (expat style) of nesting instinct or just another bout of German and International bureaucracy anxiety attack?

We will get there step-by-step and hopefully are not way too late with anything!

* Bonuses for not being married, otherwise we would only need a marriage certificate.

The Great Cornholio

2011-07-25T22:12:00.004+02:00

I have a recurring vision of the Saffa coming home from work one evening to find me running around the house Beavis style, in a sugar induced frenzy, shouting 'I am the Great Cornholio, I need teepee for my...' well, you know the rest. Or maybe he'll find a more Dewey-from-Malcolm-in-the-Middle sugar reaction. 'You gave Dewey sugar, didn't you?' as Dewey looks on crazy-eyed and salivating. Or sitting on the floor in the corner of the kitchen like some horror movie version of myself lost in a bowl of cookie dough and wild streaks of brownie batter like blood in my hair, smeared on the walls and down the front of my shirt. Because I am dying for some sugar and carbohydrates. And I am afraid I am going to go on a binge after so many weeks of playing by the rules. I can think of nothing better than a pile of brownies, cupcakes and let's throw in a naan bread and a banana split for good measure.

Controlling gestational diabetes through diet has worked extremely well for the last weeks. I have had will power like I have never had before and been staying with the diet with the exception of sharing half a piece of apple cobbler with the Saffa after dinner one night. Blood readings are well under range with the exception of when I have natural yogurt. This seems to set it a bit on the high side for whatever reason.

Mmmm, apple cobbler. I can still taste it, it was the highlight of the last month and a half. The Saffa is lucky he didn't get injured trying to eat his share of that piece of cake as I had subliminal urges to stab him with my fork every time he went for a bite. He didn't know how much he was tempting fate.

It's not that the basic diabetes diet varies so much from my normal diet. I tend to have a varied diet but I did have to reduce my carbs from some to almost none and cold turkey on the sweet treats. I'm happy I am doing everything I can for a healthy baby but without any fixes and being pregnant on top, the cravings are building and building and the last week or two I am becoming irritable. I want something sweet or at least starchy. A piece of forbidden pizza. A milkshake. A Snickers bar. Even some french fries with ketchup. Oh yum.

If you see a streak with a big belly whizzing by and your ice cream cone goes missing from your hand, I'm sorry. I really am. I just couldn't control it any longer.

Posted from Munich

Maternity Shoot

2011-07-07T22:48:00.005+02:00

I wasn't so sure about this idea but in the end really glad we did it. A friend of mine who is a photographer suggested a few months ago that we do a maternity shoot and after giving it some thought (and waiting for a bigger belly) I agreed to give it a go. I had an outdoor summer sunset in fields of tall grass kind of idea in mind but good old Munich weather made us change our plans last minute and go for an indoor studio shoot.

The Saffa and I did some brainstorming and shopping on Saturday to get some clothes and props and then on Sunday evening headed over to my friend's house to see what we could do. It was a fun evening - my friend, his girlfriend, the Saffa, myself, and an aspiring make-up artist, - took it easy, with snacks and wine (ok, water for me) and tried different outfits, lighting, poses and it was all nice and relaxed like just hanging out with friends while being photographed feeling only slightly smaller than a cow. Good fun!

We waiting eagerly for the photos to be cleaned up and they were already in our inbox this morning. We must have looked at them a hundred times today...as much as I would rather be the photographer than the photographed I am so glad we did this!

Posted from Munich

What's for Breakfast?

2011-07-06T06:56:00.002+02:00

A little over two weeks ago I went in for one of my scheduled OB appointments and had my glucose screening test, standard procedure nowadays between 24-28 weeks of pregnancy. After the test and ultrasound, we had our normal consultation and Q&A session and I was given the news for the first time in any of my check ups that everything was not normal. My blood iron had dropped too low and my response to the glucose test indicated I had gestational diabetes. I was handed the card of a specialist and a prescription for iron pills and left the office feeling extensively guilty. The doctor was encouraging that with a follow on to a specialist and a controlled diet I would almost certainly be able to get the diabetes under control and limit any impact to Pea. However, I had just returned from Stockholm where the Saffa and I had overindulged in our eating and I was having flashbacks to earlier in the pregnancy where I had eaten a varied diet that also included sweets and wondered if I had brought this on myself. I started the pregnancy at a healthy weight and have gained only within reasonable boundaries but there I was anyway.

The earliest the specialist could see me was yesterday. In those two weeks between, the Saffa and I did a lot of research online (I know, tsk tsk) and made some modifications to our diet. I say 'our' because he has been incredibly supportive throughout the whole pregnancy to the point where he was gaining his own baby bump eating along with me! And now with my changes, he also changed his eating so as not to be tempting me with any naughty foods. Basically the change was not that drastic except to really go to 5-6 small, controlled meals a day and to cut out any sweets, processed foods, and drinks other than water or ginger tea. Basically to switch fully over to a standard recommended pregnancy diet but avoiding high sugar foods and white flour based products.

The first couple of days were tough and then I adjusted and felt fine. So yesterday I went to the specialist with some optimism that maybe there would be a different result when they repeated the glucose tolerance test but it was worse or perhaps just more accurate with their specialized equipment. Rather than feeling guilty I decided I just needed to accept it, move on and do what I need to make sure the baby and I are ok. I met with the doctor regarding the results, he assured me that they weren't bad at all but nevertheless I would need to control my diet and blood sugar levels for the rest of my pregnancy and would need to schedule a follow on with the dietician and himself in the next days. He explained the risks to the baby and me short term and also some longer term risks (we both are at increased risk for developing lasting type II diabetes), which I was not so happy to hear.

The dietician had a cancellation in the afternoon so could see me the same day. She was wonderful. We did the session in German, slowly, and she showed me how to prick my finger with a device and when and how to measure the blood sugar throughout the day. Then we walked through my diet and I was very close to having the right foods and frequency. She modified it a bit more but I was only sad to see ketchup, grapes and bananas crossed off the list. The rest of the bad stuff I already had crossed off myself a couple of weeks ago.

I stopped by the farmer's stand and the grocery store and restocked with the latest advice in mind and started with the monitoring last night. All in all it is not so bad, we will see what the first couple of days results mean tomorrow afternoon.

I guess I knew some bumps in the road were to be expected but am hoping this one is at least manageable. We are in the home stretch now and more than excited to have the little one join us in the next couple of months!

Posted from Munich

Stockholm

2011-06-18T12:37:00.004+02:00

Last weekend the Saffa and I extended the already long weekend and decided to take a trip to Stockholm. Actually, we had had other ideas about where to go for a weekend getaway but as it turned out he was just returning from a business trip to South Africa and had to be in Stockholm on Tuesday for another business trip so to keep it simple we settled on Stockholm.

I had no real expectations but was looking forward to a nice getaway as I travel so rarely now and felt the need for a change of scenery. We decided to stay at a B&B after seeing the hotel prices in the city. I normally don't like the B&B scene as I prefer the anonymity of hotels and have found B&B's always to be a roll of the dice on what you actually end up with. In this case we were in luck and the location turned out to be perfect. The room was very nice and private with a fantastic balcony and view over the city. We were in room SCE5 and would happily recommend it.

Stockholm itself also pleasantly surprised. We did the touristy things - harbor tour, bus tour, Wasa museum - and also just wandered around on our own quite a bit.

What stood out:

We had a funny communication problem. We could understand the Swedes very well but they struggled to understand us, or at least that is what I think was happening. For example, if I ordered a Cola I got a Fanta. Or if the Saffa ordered an ice cream without any topping, he got rainbow sprinkles all over it. It didn't seem to matter with my American accent or his British accent, we both had trouble. So maybe it wasn't our English, maybe the Swedes just all have ADD.
The city seemed much more influenced by American and British culture than in Munich. Pubs were everywhere and we saw our fair share of American style restaurants, clothing, cars, TV shows, etc. It seems the Swedes have a love of all things Harley. They were everywhere. Hot dogs too.
The long, long days. Twilight came around midnight and by 3 AM it was bright as day again. I can't say we slept very well as our body clocks were completely confused.
It is fun to try to imitate the language. In a high pitched voice with the tendency to put the accent on completely different syllables than I would guess by reading the words. Yes, this is the part where we were just making fools of our tourist selves but we were amused.
There is something so invigorating about so much water everywhere. It wasn't quite like being by the ocean but the sun was hot, the breeze was cool and we couldn't help but feel uplifted.
We had great meals the whole time. Breakfast rolls with cardamom, smoked reindeer, salmon, swedish meatballs with dill cucumbers, mashies, and lingonberries, shrimp salads with dill and avocado...it was all great. And everyday a soft serve ice cream in the homemade waffle cones they were freshly preparing in each ice cream shop. I did skip the pickled herring - maybe next time.

It was a lovely getaway for us and I would be happy to return again. It would be nice to make it a longer trip and we talked about going back next summer to spend a few days in the city and then head out to the country for a week at a house on the water.

Posted from Munich

2011-06-04T22:16:00.002+02:00

For those of you who like looking for inspiration on the internet - decor, gardening, fashion, photography, cooking, and so on - I would recommend giving the site Pinterest a try. Years ago I used to like collecting images from magazines and newspapers and making collages based on a theme. As I got older (and lazier) I would usually just stockpile the magazines themselves with no real organization. Then along came the internet and it gradually replaced the print media I loved. I would scour websites for hours looking for the best ideas how to decorate my apartment or for fashions and shoes that might be fun for a big night out. Much faster and easier, not to mention cheaper, than buying magazines. However, I was always kind of dissatisfied with collecting a bunch of links to online catalogs and photos.

I first heard about Pinterest from No Apathy Allowed's blog back in March and wrote her to ask for an invite to use the site.

I've been giving it a try for the last month or so and, well, I love it. Once you have an account you can create 'Boards', which are virtual idea boards where you can capture and post photos from anywhere on the internet to (with credit given back to the site where the photo came from). The first board I made was to brainstorm ideas for Pea's nursery. I could send it to my mom and sis and the Saffa to show off what I had in mind and see what they thought. Much easier than trying to explain in words!

I have started a few more boards to brainstorm some ideas around a photo shoot a friend has offered to do for me and the Saffa - a maternity shoot. I don't think it will be long before I also start with some food photography inspiration boards as that has become one of my favorite hobbies.

Like all things internet based, there is always the option to share ideas and I have found that various people have 'borrowed' my internet finds and I have started doing likewise.

If you want to have an idea of what a 'board' looks like, here is an example of a board 'Food for the Soul'. I'm not sure if the site still requires an existing member to send an invite but if you are interested send me an email with your email address and I will invite you. It's fun!

Posted from Munich

The Bump

2011-05-29T12:35:00.002+02:00

I can't help it. Every time I catch my reflection in the mirror, I giggle. I look like some pregnant lady. I'm now at six months and there's no hiding the bump anymore. And with that visual sign that Pea is getting bigger and bigger, the reality of what is coming is occupying my thoughts and my activities more and more.

The Saffa and I are signed up for our hospital Infoabend (Information Evening) to see if it's where I want to have the baby. At that point we should also get signed up for birth classes. To be quite honest, I think I prefer to just keep my ignorance. Yes, I know I would probably regret it later but I like living in denial of having to go through the actual birth process.

I got my certificate from the doctor to start maternity leave on August 4 and shocking to think that it's only 2 months away. I plan to work until the end of August anyhow but have agreed to do home office starting August 4th. Having just started my new job, I frequently feel a bit of guilt for leaving again so soon. While I haven't at all lost motivation and am putting a lot into it, we haven't found any adequate way to backfill when I am out. I try not to let it bother me too much as I am also very much looking forward to having the experience of motherhood and it takes priority over work for me but I am also starting to appreciate the difficult balancing act most working mothers must face.

Since my last post we had our 20 week scan, a very detailed ultrasound scan where a doctor (yes, not a technician) performs an examination of all that can be checked using ultrasound (organs, size of baby, etc). All looked good and I was relieved to hear that. I couldn't wait to find out if Pea is a boy or a girl although the Saffa wanted it to be a surprise. He indulged me anyway and we now know but some readers of this blog want it to be a surprise so will not post it here.

The nursery project started last weekend. I had brainstormed some ideas and we decided on colors and a theme. I am such a home decor disaster but this is kind of fun. We rented a car last weekend and headed to hardware store, bought paint and supplies and painted the room. I am surprised how well it came out! Now I am debating whether or not to add a little more 'art' to the walls at the risk of messing it all up. I have also ordered the furniture and it should arrive in August. The Saffa has bought the first set of baby clothes - I found them laid out all over my bed one evening and nearly started crying. He is in South Africa this weekend and his family have added to the collection. So I would say we are on our way.

The last thing I have really noticed is that I am becoming such a softie. Thank you, hormones. It takes next to nothing to choke me up with tears of happiness. Barf! Even worse, if I watch a sad movie or hear a hard luck story, I am bawling at the drop of a hat. I watched the Other Woman with Natalie Portman on Friday night and spent half of it just crying. The worst choice for a pregnant woman to watch a movie about a couple and their baby who dies three days after being born. Hopefully this is just a temporary state. This Shrew does not want to be tamed.

It's been a productive weekend and now I am heading off to loaf around the beer garden with some friends on a semi-nice afternoon before the week starts again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Posted from Munich

Baseball in Germany

2011-05-08T19:24:00.003+02:00

I have known for some time through J that is it possible to see baseball games in Germany but I finally made it out a few weeks ago to watch one. I headed out of the city on the S-bahn to Haar to see the Munich-Haar Disciples play the Mannheim Tornados in the second game of a double-header. The weather was a bit chilly and overcast but it was fun nevertheless. Ice cold drinks (including beer) and burgers from the grill were available. The home team served as the grounds crew and the crowd watching was small, giving it a after-work softball league game atmosphere. The entrance fee was 3 Euros. The announcers used a mix of German and English to call the game and I heard quite a bit of American English coming from the dugouts so it seems this league has more than a few expats playing. All in all I would recommend a visit if you are missing American baseball and want to see some boys of summer while far from home!

Schedule

Posted from Munich

And Baby Makes Three

2011-04-16T11:55:00.004+02:00

Let's rewind back to January.

I had just returned to work after the holidays, had decided to take the new job offer starting in April and was looking forward to seeing the Saffa after a couple of weeks apart. Life was moving on again in a new direction and I was pleased. Sure, my moods were swinging around a bit, but that was to be expected at the end of another holiday season, a visit to my family, a new boyfriend and knowing that I was winding up with a company that I really enjoyed working for during the last 10 years, right?

The Saffa arrived from London the week of January 3rd and I was more than happy to see him. Work was relatively slow that week with most people still on holiday so we could enjoy the peace and quiet of Munich in early January. Not to get into woman stuff too much but towards the end of the week I noticed that I didn't have the telltale signs that that time of the month was coming and I was just about due. I told the Saffa and we joked a bit that maybe I was pregnant but I for sure did not believe that. He left on Saturday and by Monday I was a lot more concerned. Something felt different and though I wasn't more than a day or two late I just knew. Off to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test after work on Monday and then straight home, to the bathroom to see what was going on.

I bought a digital one and I think I literally broke out into a sweat, heart pounding as I awaited the results. The display started flashing for what felt like an eternity and then there it was. Schwanger, 4-5 wochen (4-5 weeks pregnant). Just as I slid to the floor to avoid fainting, the phone started ringing and it was the Saffa, asking how I was doing in a cheery voice. In the moment, no words could describe how I was doing so I started giggling nervously. And with that he already knew - I think he more strongly suspected the week before than I did.

My mind started rushing, trying to both comprehend and figure out what I was going to do all at once about everything. I alternated between denial and panic, all kinds of thoughts tumbling around in my mind - the unsigned work contract, concern around the newness of the relationship, being a mother!?!, where would we live, did the Saffa want this, what would my family and friends think, was I too old, and on and on.

The Saffa never even flinched. Really, he was a rock. He knew as soon as I told him the news what he wanted and did what he could to soothe me as I spun out. After a few hours of talking he convinced me to crawl into bed, get some sleep and he would check on me in the morning.

By morning, I felt a lot calmer and sure about two things - the Saffa and the little one were my future and the rest of it would be sorted out step by step. We decided to keep it to ourselves for the first trimester, mostly to allow ourselves some time to digest the whole thing and to figure out some of the big questions we and others would ask before going public. Well, almost to ourselves - I had a big moral dilemma what to do about work as I had not yet signed the new contract and had to decide whether I would tell the new boss first or not and I had to tell one friend to avoid going crazy with the secret. He kept his word to keep it confidential and was a big support through what felt like a very isolated couple of months.

In the end I decided to tell my boss, something a German would never do, as they would immediately rescind the offer not wanting to be saddled with the very protective German maternity rights, namely having to hold the position for up to 3 years of maternity leave. Nevertheless, I didn't feel right about not informing the company that only 4.5 months after I would start, I would go on maternity leave. They were hiring me into a high level position to create an organization to address some major problems they were having and while we all shared the vision that this was not a 3 month consulting gig but would be a journey over the next years, I also did not think they would accept a big gap in my involvement so early in that journey.

Surprise of surprises, they were willing to discuss the options. I gave my boss a week to discuss with HR and his boss who had jointly recruited me and I used the week to determine how I wanted to handle my maternity leave. We came back together a week later and my proposal was acceptable to them. They had already prepared the documentation on what support they could offer for a working mother when I did come back (part time options, remote work, and preferential placement at local day care centers, where do to the societal norm space is very limited).

First hurdle crossed and for me it was a big relief as I really would rather be in the new job as a working mother than in my previous company where intense travel is hard to avoid and alternative options were not very appealing to me. I am sure I will be posting more in the future about baby and career in Germany as it unfolds. In Germany, and particularly in Bavaria, it is strongly frowned upon to be a working mother, especially before baby is three years old and I was told I would be considered a Rabenmutter (Raven mother, who leave their children in an empty nest while off pursuing their career). To me it is a personal decision and I made it fairly quickly with the time constraints but now need to learn through trial and error if I got that right for me and baby.

The Saffa and I went off to our first appointment with the Obgyn and while I cannot compare it to what I would have experienced in the US or elsewhere, I really love my doctor and her practice. She speaks flawless English, reacted as if it was the first time she told someone they were pregnant (excited and happy) and showed the Saffa and me the baby for the first time - a little tiny dot that we promptly nicknamed Pea.

We booked a trip to the US for March so we could tell my parents in person and so they could meet the Saffa, then debated whether to tell them before we went anyway. Finally we decided to do it together in person. The Saffa then started looking into options to transfer over to Munich, with the idea that if that would not work, he would quit and go back to independent contracting based in Munich.

Most unexpectedly, things were coming together...

Pea at 17 weeks, curled up and napping

Tidbits

2011-03-25T21:47:00.003+01:00

Just some random tidbits this time:

I was home for a long weekend in CT and brought the Saffa along to meet the parents. Some more on that in an upcoming post!

I am down to my last days on my work contract and will be starting the new job on Friday, April 1st. I have to wonder if that is some kind of omen? April Fool's Day! I will kick off the organization I will be responsible for building with the first of my team members on Thursday and feel energized to take on the new challenge but know it will be a challenging transition.

The Saffa and I kicked off the 2011 BBQ season on Wednesday night. The weather has been gorgeous in Munich all week and we couldn't resist. Steaks, sausages, onions, peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini - all tossed on the grill - and a Bavarian potato salad. Unfortunately looks like rain ahead this weekend and chillier temperatures.

The situation in Japan has been on my mind a lot. I love the ocean but there is something that I find especially horrific about mass death by tsunami or hurricane. In part, I think because I used to have a recurring dream about happy, peaceful times at the ocean being suddenly transformed into something much more sinister - waterspouts, tidal waves or swimming and being sucked out to sea in an overpowering current. As for similar catastrophes in the past, I felt compelled to make a donation and selected GlobalGiving to donate through. For those of you on Toytown, there is a member who is running a fundraiser for Japan by selling homemade card sets. Her offer can also be found on Facebook. Any little bit helps...

For those of you in Munich, I wanted to recommend a little neighborhood haunt of mine, a restaurant called Osteria da Antonio. It's a cozy but often rowdy Italian restaurant serving fresh-made pasta specials and delicious thin, crispy crust pizzas. One of my favorites is the 'Contadina' - topped with eggplant, ricotta, tomatoes, and olives. And I am completely addicted to their 'Pizzabrot' - a think crust pizza with a light tomato sauce, garlic and olive oil topping. Try it!

Wish you all a Happy Weekend!

Posted from Munich

Mushroom Risotto

2011-03-12T19:06:00.002+01:00

While I am normally a big fan of winter, I have to admit I loved the weather today. The temperature felt almost balmy, the sun was out and so was the entire population of Munich. Everyone here takes advantage of even a hint of warmth and moves outside at the cafes, restaurants and out onto their balconies or about in the parks. I didn't want to feel left out so I decided to go out for a late breakfast and bask in the sun for awhile before setting off on my errands.

I was battling a cold and stomach flu all of last week, which wasn't really a great mood enhancer but all that seemed like a distant memory today. I even got some spring cleaning started and got some long overdue chores done around the house.

Now for a quiet evening. I bought the Harry Potter movies (1-6) on the cheap in London and am on a Harry Potter marathon. Oh, and the photo was of dinner before I devoured it. Mushroom risotto (I always hear Chef Ramsey's pronunciation - ri-ZAW-toe) from the AllRecipes website.

Posted from Munich

Dublin and London

2011-03-11T19:44:00.004+01:00

Guinness Tour, Dublin, Ireland

I've been off a-traveling.

First, I just have to say, traveling for fun is, well, fun. I always suspected I would miss traveling all the time for work but I don't miss it at all. So long as I get a bit of sight seeing here and there, it is enough to keep my travel bug under control.

So first stop was Dublin for a weekend to meet up with three other American friends, two of which are expats in Europe as well. It was a perfect group to travel with as we were all of the same mind when it came to sight seeing (some, but not too much), napping, food (perfectly alternating deep-friend Irish pub food and top notch frou-frou fancy) and a finely attuned sense of just the right moment for a lazy afternoon coffee break with gossip and chatter. On Sunday afternoon the rest of the gang moved on to Belfast so I had a few hours before my flight to take the city bus tour. Don't knock it, I have become a fan of them in recent years. They are perfect when you want to get a quick overview of the city and some of the more famous and infamous stories. I left Dublin with two thoughts - what a fun city it would be to live in if I were in my mid-twenties and how much I would like to give Ireland a longer visit sometime in the not too distant future.

Last weekend I headed off to London with the Saffa. We were looking forward to playing cheesy tourist in his home town of the last 12 years but on Friday afternoon I started feeling the beginnings of a sore swollen throat and the telltale aches and pains and fever that meant more than likely I was going to be spending the next days with a lovely head cold.

The Saffa, as per his laid back personality took the whole thing in stride, carted me off to the 'chemist' as they say there and got me a cold survival kit to try to at least help relieve the symptoms. We took it easy and stayed in Friday night and then, feeling a little bit better, we bundled up and took the Old Bus Tour around the city. The weather was in our favor with some warming and sun breaking through the early day clouds.

One of the highlights was something he had to drag me to see, the National Gallery. It's not that I don't like art. But my tolerance for any museum is about 30-90 minutes. Unless there are lots of dinosaur bones, mummies, live animals, freaky insects and spiders, aquariums and weird science exhibits. This was relatively low risk as the museum was free (although we made a donation as kindly suggested) so no big investment to trap us there. Once inside, I have to admit I was drawn into the different styles, use of color and just pure talent that these artists had and time passed quickly as we lingered here and there through the centuries.

On Sunday, I took a turn for the worse but I found a lovely little spot for breakfast and we spent a couple hours there enjoying people watching and the fantastic food. Afterwards we did a bit of DVD and book shopping, a little more sight seeing and then it was off the airport for the return home.

We agreed we need a do-over another time when I am feeling better, and maybe when the weather is a little warmer, but it was still a nice weekend and I especially appreciated the TLC and the understanding when we had to bag most of our original plan. Just sweet.

Caravan, Islington

Posted from Munich

2011-02-13T11:35:00.004+01:00

After a very promising start to the winter, it seems to have petered out into warm-ish gray days and the snow is all long gone. It's hard to find things to do around Munich when the winter decides to drag out the 'in-between' weather. The die-hard skiers and boarders still head to the slushy, bare slopes. The die-hard cyclists have pulled out the bikes and some of my Sunday cycling crew are out on a trip today. But neither are for me. I'm a fair-weather skier and a fair-weather cyclist. This weather just isn't fair.

Last weekend, I used up the one activity that is always great for this in-between weather. The Saffa and I headed to Austria for a wellness weekend. The concept is fabulous and I try to do it once every winter. You head to a nearby resort, preferably somewhere quaint and kitschy with lots of wood and antlers and a fireplace or two. Book a massage or a facial, then head to the sauna, the pool or the sun lounge to relax even more. Meal are typically included and very nice - a huge buffet breakfast and dinner typically a 4 or 5 course meal. Bring a good book and the camera and it's a perfect weekend getaway.

On Sunday we hiked a few kilometers up a wide trail in the mountains to a nice (and very busy!) hut for lunch and then rented a couple of sleds to fly down the mountain. There was (barely) enough snow/slush left for the run but I don't think anyone can do it without feeling like a giggling child again. Wheeeee!!

So, big idea for in-between weather exhausted and now it's another weekend at home in Munich. After tidying up the house and running a few errands, I decided I felt like another baking experiment. Oooh, did this one turn out delicious!

I decided to make a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I couldn't find cake pans in approximately the right size so ended up buying two small springform pans. This resulted in a rather tall cake and I had to bake for longer than expected but no harm to the result. I used this recipe from Joy of Baking and only made one changed. I like my carrot cake with raisins, so added 3/4 cup raisins to the carrots and walnuts before folding into the batter. The frosting called for a teaspoon of lemon zest, which I would normally have skipped but I added it this time and the citrus flavor perfects the pairing of the frosting and cake. This carrot cake is light and fluffy, very moist and full of flavor!

Posted from Munich

Sanity

2011-01-29T21:42:00.004+01:00

A friend of mine passed this along and I chuckled more than once. Enjoy!

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds all Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity......

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called..... therapy.

Posted from Munich

Nymphenburger Kanal

2011-01-23T18:03:00.004+01:00

In fear of becoming permanently attached to the couch, I decided to go for a walk this afternoon around my neighborhood. With a high of 1 degree Celsius, I bundled up nice and warm and headed out with my trusty camera. Once I was out and moving around, it wasn't too bad. The sun was shining and pretty much all of Munich seemed to have the same idea.

I walked over to Nymphenburger Kanal to see if it was frozen over and sure enough it was. Tons of people were out on the ice playing 'Eisstockschießen' (a game similar to curling) and ice hockey or just trying to ice skate and pulling the kids around on their sleds. A hut is set up on the side of the canal selling snacks and hot drinks in case you just want to be a spectator and have a little something to warm up.

It never gets old to see how Germans take advantage of the shops being closed and, for most, being off on work on Sundays to get outside with friends and family and enjoy the outdoors at any time of year.

Posted from Munich

Dinner for A Cold Winter Night

2011-01-22T21:14:00.003+01:00

There are different variations of this classic comfort food but for me it is best the way my mom always made it. Ground beef, corn, brown sauce, onion and covered with mashed potatoes and baked.

I used Rinderbraten sauce for the base and added a couple tablespoons of ketchup. For the potatoes, I mashed then mixed in a little bit of shredded Emmentaler cheese, then topped it with salt, freshly ground pepper and a light dusting of parmesan cheese.

And, voila! Shepherds Pie!

Perfect dinner after walking around the city all afternoon in sub-freezing temperatures!

Posted from Munich

A Doctor Visit

2011-01-22T17:11:00.002+01:00

As part of my new job I will get a company pension. I thought those died off decades ago. Nevertheless after having no company sponsored or matched retirement package for the last three years since transferring to Germany, I am pleased to have it back.

In order to qualify for the pension, I had to get a medical certificate stating that I was fit to do my job and generally in good health. So the new company booked me an appointment last week for a full physical on Friday and by Monday all the results were in and I was given a clean bill of health.

However, I still find it surprising what is included in a physical in Germany versus what I ever remember getting in the US. In the US, I would meet with the doctor for maybe 15 minutes, chat about my family medical history, clarify if I had any specific issues or complaints and then after a check of the heart and stomach area, using only a stethoscope and tapping with hands, I would be sent on my way for some blood work.

In Germany, it is a 90 minute event. First I started with a consultation and asked the basic questions, similar to what is done in the US. Then, I went to the exercise room where I was hooked up to monitors and rode a bike to check my lungs, heart, blood pressure and general fitness over a period of time and with increasing resistance on the bike.

Immediately upon finishing, about 8 vials of blood were taken to check thyroid, blood cell count, cholesterol, cancer markers, iron, and so on. Once that was complete, I was given a full (and messy) ultrasound - neck, back, chest, abdomen.

The appointment was on a Friday and the results for everything were available on Monday already. I can't remember ever waiting for less than a week to get any results in the US.

While I'm sure it is still possible that something could be missed, I still feel better for getting such a thorough physical and happy that everything checked out ok this time.

Posted by Michelle

On Love

2011-01-16T13:45:00.004+01:00

They say when you know, you know.

When we met, I was a few weeks into dating Mr. Kilt. I had just started working at my new client and I didn't have a permanent desk yet, so I was sitting in a makeshift office, where others who might be in town for a few days sometimes used a desk temporarily. I showed up one morning expecting to have the office to myself, as I usually did, and there he was. We had talked on the phone a few times and I liked his sharp, dry wit and how he twisted my words around in a teasing way that always left me flailing in my use of the English language, as if I was a mere beginner in speaking it. He flustered me.

On that morning, the guy sitting in 'my' office stood up to introduce himself and (typical of meeting someone you only 'know' over the phone) he didn't look at all how I pictured he would be. As an American, when I hear a British accent, it draws to mind certain images of how the person should look and I shall leave it at that rather than risk being offensive.

In that moment of meeting, sparks flew and time slowed down and everything got quiet. Then we both kind of shook our heads to snap out of it, turned away, and went back to our lives. And that was all. I had never had that moment with Mr. Kilt, however I felt that it was time to give up on that 'we just knew' feeling at my age and after my experiences and live in a more pragmatic and practical world. Mr. Kilt was there, he treated me like a princess and he would be a good partner to have in life.

Still, in the autumn of last year, while I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, life was feeling very flat. There was no drama, for which I was glad, but sitting in my bedroom one morning after sleeping in too long again, the thought just popped into my head. I am not fun anymore. I had traded life's ups and downs for much more stability but instead of feeling fulfilled I felt very little of anything. I argued with myself that still it was better than life had been. I was not alone, I had a good job, the prospect of another good job on the horizon, discussions about a wedding and children and someone nice to share it all with. How could I seriously feel unfulfilled?

In the meantime, the 'Brit' and I got to know each other a little more but our discussions always centered on work. Nevertheless, I found out he was actually South African but had been living outside of London for about 12 years, had traveled around the world as a consultant, was divorced several years ago and has two teenage children. He came to Munich from time to time so we saw each other occasionally.

In November he was planning a trip to Munich and suggested we gather up some of the colleagues and go out for some dinner and drinks. I had a feeling I should not go. We had kept the door closed between us, kept the relationship professional and I did not want an evening out to rock the boat. But what was I worrying about? He had never said or done anything to indicate he had any of the feelings I did.

So we planned the night out and a group of us went out for dinner, then onto a bar for some drinks. Leading up to the night, I had butterflies and kept telling them to get lost. The night finally came, and as the evening went on, my carefully barricaded door was dismantled and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was in trouble. Because, I just knew. I knew he had the same feelings, I knew I could not ignore mine anymore. And because I didn't want to know any of those things!

My head and my heart fought a battle for the next days but I knew it was just a matter of time. I would break up with Mr. Kilt and give in to what I felt deep down inside. That I belong with this man - it is just meant to be.

Posted from Munich

On Work

2011-01-04T19:32:00.003+01:00

I left a chaotic JFK airport on December 29, two hours late, but with a wonderful free upgrade to business class to see me home. Unfortunately, now almost a week later, my suitcase hasn't show up yet but supposedly will be here in the next hour or so. I just hope everything is still in there.

I arrived to a snowy Munich and took a deep breath, as I always do when I arrive, of the crisp clean air. Ahhhh!

It was a nice visit to the US, with a few unexpected twists and turns, and as always it flew by too fast. I had no plans for the remaining days off in Munich but knew I needed some time to relax and recharge before the new year got into full gear.

I had lunch with a friend on Thursday and decided to join him and a small group for a relatively low key New Year's Eve out. When I woke up on New Year's Eve morning, there was something that I had to do first.

I drafted up and printed out my resignation letter, signed it, sealed it and carried it to the Post for delivery, ensuring that I could start my new job on April 1 with the required three month notice period in my current contract.

The walk to the Post was a walk down memory lane as I recalled some of the funnier, sadder, tougher and rewarding moments of the last 10 years of my career with my company. One thing was for sure. I had absolutely no regrets about a job that I took with no idea how long I would end up staying, all the places it would carry me, all the things I would learn, all the people I would meet and, frankly, without having no clue what the job was even really going to be about. Oh, the places you'll go!! should have been part of the recruitment speech.

I won't go into the details on the discussions with my current company over the last two weeks but I will say that for me it means a lot that there is so active interest in my next steps and what is the best move for me, as well as a two year, no questions asked, open door for return if I change my mind.

Nevertheless, I am looking forward to moving on to an exciting and interesting new opportunity and seeing what life is like on the other side after spending so many years as a consultant. I am sure it will be a challenging transition and I don't think I will be bored for some time to come. In the coming weeks, as time permits, I plan to post about some of my experiences that I loved, cherished, hated, found funny and that were part of an amazing journey over the last 10 years.

So ends one chapter and begins another.

Posted from Munich

A December to Remember

2010-12-29T03:10:00.003+01:00

Another year coming to a close and, for the most part, 2010 was very much what I had hoped it would be.

Life just generally calmed down. By the end of March, I had stopped traveling for work and could settle in to a more normal lifestyle of being home every night and where travel was only of the fun vacation kind. My promotion finally fell into place after a year and a half delay and I felt more optimistic that I could continue on for the next 3-5 years with the same company. I attended an inspirational future leaders conference for women in my company and was further encouraged about the next steps. A big milestone is on the horizon in January; I will be with my company for 10 years.

Nevertheless, in preparing for my annual review in October, I had the feeling that it might be time to move on. Staying with my current company means the next few years are a steep uphill climb if I want to make the next promotion. Plus, in the background, there is always the lingering thought that in town assignments are more a matter of luck than anything. While it worked out for me this year, it is always a gamble on what the next assignment might bring.

Even with that feeling of being ready for change, I decided to hold off on actively looking for a new job for another year or so. I was going through a bit of tough time with so many friends recently leaving Munich and, despite feeling at home and settled, was starting to wonder if I wanted to rebuild yet again, knowing the result will likely be the same, or if I should also consider leaving. Again, no firm idea or plan, just a sense that I needed to think about what I really wanted for the next few years and also what might make the most sense with my personal situation.

Mr. Kilt and I were talking about the next steps in our relationship. He had always made it clear that getting married and having kids were top priorities in his near future and we began to discuss moving in together, as well as the possibility of getting married next year and even how kids would fit into the picture. In a very academic way, this all sounded great. Mr. Kilt is a solid, down to earth, caring and fun person who has a lot to offer. Finally it seemed after putting a lot more emphasis on my personal life, things were coming together. Yet somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach, where intuition reigns, something felt a little off. Planning our future should have felt good but I felt trapped.

I told my gut to be quiet and leave me be but as December approached I was feeling more and more disconnected from everything and everyone. Somehow life had moved into auto-pilot and I felt like I was just going through the moves because it all got easy and comfortable. I argued with myself, isn't that what I wanted? To reach some kind of angst-free equilibrium and maybe even live happily ever after?

At the end of November, two things happened. First, my client approached me with a job offer. A permanent position in Munich, no travel, an excellent opportunity with a nice package. Second, a colleague who had become a friend opened up about his feelings for me and I knew immediately I couldn't just brush it off. I had always felt a connection with him but always chose to ignore it as I was focused on a future with Mr. Kilt.

After a well-orchestrated, carefully planned and executed year, I suddenly faced December with two major decisions starting me in the face, one for career and one for personal life. Another fork in the road when I least expected it, two forks actually, with far reaching implications. On a gut level, I knew what I wanted but my brain needed some time to catch up, double check and reassure, absorb it all and come to some kind of acceptance. My brain fought it for as long as it could but in the end I went with my instinct in both cases.

And so I come to the close of 2010, my decisions are made, and I am on a break to digest it all.
Truly a December to remember.

Posted from East Hampton

Bird Watching

2010-12-27T00:34:00.002+01:00

In the month since my last post, nearly everything has changed or is about to change again.

While I am gathering the words for that post, I am enjoying a few quiet days at my parents home in Connecticut, and spent some time in the yard today getting lost in photography. There hasn't been much time for that lately so I am enjoying it while I can.

Posted from East Hampton

The Expat's Lament

2010-11-28T19:59:00.002+01:00

I can already see the scene from today in a faded photograph style in my mind.

I had brunch with a friend who was visiting for a night from Geneva, where she moved to from Munich back in September. Four of the old crew joined us - two of whom are already in their final week in Munich themselves and the other two who are actively looking to move on by next year.

What can I say? Almost everyone I was friends with a year ago has now moved on from Munich. A table at brunch that was filled with six of us today would have held 25 of us a year ago. I miss those who have left.

Next weekend I will go to Basel for another get together - a reunion of the Basel crew that I spent three years with in Basel and traveling with around the world. Some won't make it as they have moved even farther afield than Europe.

On Thursday, it was another Thanksgiving that I missed my friends and family in the US.

We have Skype, we have email, we have Facebook. Feeling connected to people all over the world is one of the things that makes me happiest in life.

But if you leave your heart in bits and pieces all over the world, can you ever be whole anywhere again?

As I walked down the empty, cold street in Munich, I felt more alone than I have in a long time.

Posted from Munich

Three Women

2010-11-18T23:38:00.005+01:00

Across the hall lives an older couple, I'd place in their late 60s or early 70s. As happens from time to time, we leave our apartments at the same time and hop onto the elevator together and start chatting. Actually she does most of the chatting and I ask a short question here or there or comment on whatever she is talking about. My ability to formulate a response in German is too slow to keep up with her. I understand most of what she is saying though and I admire her passion for life. She and her husband are always up to something - travel, adventures in the city, learning something new. Recently I was running a bit late for work and she came strolling out of her house, yoga mat in hand and donning rainbow leg warmers and headband. She told me all about the gym down the street (for women only, because she doesn't like gyms with meatheads wandering around) and the great yoga class that she adores. I have to confess I was a bit jealous that as I was trudging off to work, she was headed for her big event of the day. Another time she told me all about her two week cruise around India that she and her husband just returned from and how fascinating she found India. Again, I was a bit envious of her golden tan and her adventure. One Friday night as I was returning from dinner, she was all dolled up and ready for a night on the town. She is a character and I love her energy and zest for life and enjoy our little chats.

I have a cleaning lady who comes twice a month to get my apartment straightened out. Once in awhile I work from home on a Friday when she happens to come and she likes to practice her English so we talk. One time I told her about my job and the hours and the travel and the stress as she mentioned that I looked a bit tired. So she told me her story. She had held two fairly senior positions in big companies and had had a similar lifestyle to me some years ago. She finally had enough of the stress and resigned and decided to start a cleaning company. She has a full time job at an office and then does some houses and apartments on the side. I wasn't sure what to make of what she told me but she told me she is happier now than she ever was in the corporate world. She simply likes the feeling that when the day is done she has made the workplace or someone's home tidy and even more she likes seeing the people happy with her work. Corporate work was wearing her down and she never felt appreciated for the effort. It made me of my favorite job ever, when I worked in an ice cream shop. There really is something satisfying about a routine job with low stress that puts a smile on people's faces and maybe I have forgotten that too much lately.

I've now moved on to the B1.1 level of German and still going strong. I finished the A2.2 7 week evening class (2 hours a night, 4 nights a week) and moved right on to the next level, another 7 week evening course. I have the same teacher for this session as the last. She is a seasoned teacher and is unbelievably patient and always helps relieve the tedium and occasional frustration with a dash of good humor. It's not easy after a long day of work to head for two hours of German class but she has helped make it possible since I started in September. I can tell she wants to be there. She remembers the full class's names by the end of the first hour, she tries to think of creative ways to get the ideas across and she has a funny giggle when we come up with something particularly creative. She reminds me that the same set of tasks can be approached in a variety of ways, but some approaches will make the task more memorable and fun and why not try to apply that attitude to as many situations in life as possible?

I like these accidental women in my life. I can't really call them friends but glad that for whatever complicated reasons and although I never would have imagined, these three German ladies and I have crossed paths and they have all made me think about who I am and what else I can be.

Posted from Munich

Wellness Weekend

2010-11-14T21:47:00.003+01:00

In the midst of a stressful few weeks, set in what has been an extremely busy year, this weekend was a welcome retreat from it all. Mr. Kilt planned a surprise getaway and only instructions I had were to leave the stress behind and pack comfy, casual clothes and a good book.

We picked up a rental car on Saturday morning and headed southwest towards the mountains. The weather has been unbelievably warm and sunny, almost like late springtime weather. A couple hours later, past the rolling hills of the Allgäu we arrived at a little resort nestled in the mountains and checked into our cozy and kitschy room. We had a big picture window facing the mountains and kicked back on the sofa, taking in the view and the warm, fresh air from the woods.

Towards late afternoon we went down to the sauna and enjoyed the steam bath and the Finnish sauna. Afterwards, we had a 5-course dinner and wine and then an early night where I slept the best I have in ages.

The warm, sunny weather made an encore appearance on Sunday and after a leisurely brunch we headed to Andechs for a look around. It was crowded owing to the nice weather but a beautiful drive up past Ammersee and then on to Munich afterwards with the Alps visible for mile and miles. Lovely!

It was nice to get away and a great surprise. I have to admit it's the first Sunday in a long time where I have felt recharged and ready for the week. I always though the term 'Wellness Weekend' was silly but maybe the Germans are on to something after all.

Posted from Munich

Apartment Anniversary

2010-10-24T10:02:00.004+02:00

I'm not sure if I am the only one but it seems like 2010 is passing in a whirlwind. Summer is gone and we seem to have jumped almost directly into late autumn/early winter in Munich at least weather-wise.

I have now been in my 'new' apartment for one year. While it is far from a finished project, the progress on furnishing and decorating has been slow and steady. It was quite a different experience for my houseful of Oktoberfest guests a few weeks ago than for my sister and her man who came in mid-December last year and had to build their own bed while I was still sleeping on the floor.

Over the last 12 months, I have bought 2 beds, 2 nightstands, a dining table and 6 chairs, a large L-shaped sofa, a desk and chair, bookshelves, a couple of chairs, a washer and dryer and a TV. I had my first ever Christmas tree with all the trimmings. The wood stove has been well worked out and may get it's first winter 2010/2011 use today. I have printed many of my photos and they are hanging on the walls. The patio is furnished with chairs and tables and a beautiful Weber grill. I even have a few plants throughout the house.

The heart of my home, as you may have guessed from my photos, is the kitchen. Of course, it is easier to fill up a kitchen than a house as the cost is more manageable. But I also just enjoy it more. The majority is from Ikea but I have a few prize possessions, including my little Nespresso Citiz coffee machine and a set of three Wusthof knives that are incredibly sharp.

While I wouldn't call it finished, the urgent projects are over, I am settled and comfortable, can host weekend guests and dinner parties and take my time with any future projects. Not too shabby for a year and starting with next to nothing!

Best of all is that I home nearly every night to enjoy it all.

Posted from Munich

More Cupcakes

2010-10-18T00:18:00.001+02:00

Yellow cakes frosted with Lindt chocolate. Delish!

Lasagna!

2010-10-11T10:47:00.002+02:00

Another one from Jamie Oliver.

Mr. Kilt ate three huge pieces! Need I say more?

Posted from Munich

Jamie Oliver

2010-10-10T13:06:00.007+02:00

When I was back in the US, I made the requisite trip to the bookstore to stock up on whatever looked interesting to read. Browsing through the cooking section, I came upon the heaps of Jamie Oliver cookbooks and decided to add one to my stash of book loot. I never really watched his show or got into the craze over the last years but after a scan through a couple of his books I could see this was my kind of cooking. Nothing overly complicated, emphasis on freshness and flavors extracted from all over the world.

Since I've been back I made two of the dinners and both turned out wonderfully. I'm definitely a fan now.

Yesterday I made a trip to the Viktualienmarkt, the granddaddy of all farmer's markets in Munich, and stocked up on goodies for the rest of the weekend. Fresh fruits and veggies, truffle ham and Scottish highland cheddar, my favorite German birdseed dark bread, appetizers ranging from stuffed cherry peppers to spanish olives to dolmas and headed home in the chilly autumn air to get cooking. It's just hard not to be in a good mood on a gorgeous day like yesterday surrounded by all this yummy goodness.

We started with the delicious Mediterranean appetizers and a very dry Spanish wine. I opted to make Moroccan Lamb with Chickpea Sauce and Couscous from Jamie Oliver's for dinner. Unbelievably good! And for dessert, an Apple Streusel Cake from one of my favorite baking websites (discovered during the ill-fated early cupcake chronicles) the Joy of Baking.

Yes, hearty cooking (and eating!) season is upon us. Oh, my waistline!

Posted from Munich

Cats and Apples

2010-10-09T00:21:00.004+02:00

Mr. Kilt in Praha for the Scotland-Czech Republic game and for the first time in weeks I am home, alone with no pressing plans. What to do with all that time?

I finally made a monumental decision and ordered my very own laptop. A shiny (is it true you can spell shin(e)y with or without an e? Too much German class, English skills plummeting) new Apple Macbook is headed my way. I got a nice discount on it through an employee benefit program and can't wait to try it out.

The last time I owned my own computer was in 1998, an Apple desktop I bought my senior year in college in anticipation of graduate school and used for the first few years before technology passed it by. Through the years I got by with university and the job-provided computers but started looking for my own earlier this year when I decided I wanted to start separating out all my work and personal stuff, you know, in case I want or need to make any hasty exits. That was not meant to be foreshadowing or in any way ominous. I just have my thoughts from time to time.

And now for some gratuitous cute cat photos, cause they make me smile.

Posted from Munich

Berlin

2010-09-29T23:49:00.005+02:00

Vacation? What vacation?

I have a foggy memory of overeating and too hot weather and a whole lotta cats.

Continuing on the theme of 2010, which seems to be 'Busy on Steroids', I hit the ground running when we returned and haven't had a chance to catch my breath since.

It's not all the details of the trip that are really so interesting to write (or read) about but it was a lovely trip and a walk down memory lane with Mr. Kilt by my side. A friend commented on my facebook photos that they made him feel very patriotic (he also is an American expat living in Munich). I didn't have that as a conscious goal but I noticed that when I photograph places I travel to, I end up taking photos that not only show how a place looks but also help me to recreate how I feel about a place. I was showing Mr. Kilt my favorite parts of America and, maybe, just maybe, I was a bit proud of the place.

We flew back on Sunday night, September 12th, and landed on Monday September 13th. Mr. Kilt is not so keen on flying and was having no part of returning on September 11th. His parents arrived for a 5 day stay that afternoon. And I started German class (4 days a week, 2 hours a night) that very same evening.

I had a frantic weekend at home trying to get a few more home projects crossed off the list (my office space is really shaping up now and I have a guest bedroom that is ready for B&B duty) before the influx of Wiesn visitors this weekend.

This past weekend we made a hectic and disorganized dash to Berlin so Mr. Kilt could run the Berlin Marathon (his first and, he says, last marathon). His training was nowhere near what it could or should have been with all the other things going on but I am really proud of him. He ran the whole thing and had a time of 4:26. We managed to find each other in the rain and I dashed through the crowd to give him a big hug and something to lean on. In the next couple of hours I doctored him up and saw him off on the train and for whatever reason felt full and content.

Berlin is oh so amazing. We were limited in what we could see and do as the focus was on the marathon and the weather was terrible all weekend but I must get back there soon with some more time to explore and photograph. I am not sure I could live there as the place put me in a strange mood. There is some kind of emotional current running through the place and it felt raw, alive, sad, hopeful, defiant, new and rundown. WEBMU 2011? Yes, please.

I can barely keep my eyes open so better roll over and get to sleep. First Wiesn visitor arrives tomorrow and 7 more on their way for Friday. My Wiesn, League of Nations style.

Good night.
Posted from Munich

America, America

2010-09-15T22:34:00.004+02:00

Back from nearly three weeks holiday that was wonderful, hectic, fun and good for the soul. It doesn't look like I will have much time to catch a breather in the coming weeks either, but hopefully I will have some time for a USA post-mortem post this weekend before I forget I ever had a vacation!

And if a picture is worth a thousand words, here are a few thousand:

Posted from Munich

Cupcake Penance

2010-08-16T22:31:00.004+02:00

Really no words can describe how beautiful a late summer Sunday ride through the mountains around Munich can be...

...making cupcake penance that much easier to bear!

Only pity was...

...not having my DSLR with me! But these will have to do.

My mountain bike got a real taste of mountain biking and it really comes alive on the trails - wow!

Posted from Munich

Cupcakes

2010-08-14T16:24:00.003+02:00

Lately I have been craving cupcakes. I don't know where it came from although it could possibly be from watching How I Met Your Mother, where cupcakes featured in an episode I watched recently. A friend of mine told me they are all the rage in the US.

Only problem with a cupcake craving in Germany is that the Germans don't eat cupcakes. So there are none to be found and no mix in the store to make them.

So I decided to try to make some myself.

First attempt was on Tuesday night. I take great pride in my cooking and baking skills so I was devastated with the results. Maybe I was being too ambitious. I wanted to make Salted Caramel Cupcakes and found a recipe on the internet. Actually it was three recipes - one for the cupcake itself (kind of a sweet-salty cake), one for a salty-caramel frosting and one for caramel sauce. It was a long, difficult process and at the end I had heavy, flat cakes, liquid frosting and a good caramel sauce. Everything tasted right but the textures were a disaster. Into the garbage.

Second attempt was on Thursday night. I decided to switch to Red Velvet cupcake with a Cream Cheese Frosting. I did some research on the flour situation, which is different than flour in the US, and decided to combine a few tips I saw. First, mixing 405 and 550 type flour (half-half), weighing instead of measuring the flour and adding some baking powder to the flour. Well, the cupcakes came out almost flawless. Taste and texture were great, food coloring to make the cakes red didn't do anything. The frosting was another disaster. It called for whipped cream, easy enough to make normally. However, when I was whipping the cream it decided to chunk up and separate on me. It was late, stores were closed, and I had no more cream to try again. Into the garbage.

But as you know, if at first you do not succeed, try, try again. So today I gave it another go. Decided to go for a rich chocolate cupcake with buttercream frosting. I used my flour tips again to get it right and was a little worried when the batter turned out a lot more liquidy than the last time. Baked them up anyway and they came out absolutely delicious. No issues with the buttercream frosting either and I piped the frosting on to make it look a little prettier, sprinkled on some chocolate and topped with a just in season blackberry.

Yum yum yum.

Now I need to stop with the experimenting. I am starting to look like a cupcake.

Posted from Munich

July, Done and Dusted

2010-08-07T14:21:00.005+02:00

Already a week into August. This year is flying by!

After surviving the Firmenlauf, Mr. Kilt and I headed to Brussels for a long overdue visit to a friend of mine living there. Back in 2004 she had gone for a few weeks to work in Germany. At the time she was working for the same company as me and we had been my second roommate at my first project back in 2001-2002.

Well, a few weeks turned into a few months and now a few years have passed and she is still living in Europe. She married a man from Brussels and they now have two little ones. Life's funny that way.

I had never been to Belgium and Mr. Kilt hadn't been since he was in University in Amsterdam so it was a nice combined visit and sight seeing tour. We had good weather, which is apparently unusual in Belgium and did a day trip to Bruges. Lovely visit, enjoyed both Brussels and Bruges and would be happy to go back any time.

My friend's mother and father-in-law spoke nice in slow in French and was good to be able to still understand what they were talking about. My friend's children understand French and English but are incredibly shy about speaking English and would only speak French. It was a lot of fun playing with them all weekend but between the two of them and two step children, I can see why my friend has decided to be a full time Mom for the near future.

After the Brussels trip, Mr. Kilt and I decided to just lay low for a few weeks. We are in preparation for a 2.5 week trip to the US at the end of August and when we get back we have the following weekend in Berlin (where Mr. Kilt will be running the Berlin marathon) and Oktoberfest will be in full swing.

I am having way too much fun planning out the itinerary for the US trip. The first week we are going to New York City, Philadelphia and Boston - three of my favorite cities in the whole world - and it will be his first time there. The second half is a bit more laid back - my parents in CT, Newport and Portland, Maine to see my sis and her other half. We just can't wait for it!

I am trying also to leave the house in order and ready for visitors that will descend on us for the last weekend of Oktoberfest. Although I have been slowly moving along on house projects since I moved in there is still so much to do. I am not really in a rush but would like to reach a comfortable plateau while my visitors are here.

Yes, a hectic couple of months coming up!

Dog Days of Summer

Posted from Munich

Firmenlauf

2010-07-23T11:22:00.002+02:00

A week ago, I received an email from my company to let me know I was off the waiting list for the annual Munich firmenlauf (Company Run). I had signed up some time back in March and had planned to start running again around that time, as soon as I recovered from the lung infection that had plagued me most of February and March so I would be nice and fit in time for the run. For one reason or another, dominated by laziness I am sure, I never really got back into running form and even have struggled with any kind of fitness over the last months.

So when the email came with only one week's warning I was more than a bit concerned about how I was going to pull off a run with so little time to prepare. The only reason I didn't bail altogether is that the run is 'only' 6.5 km or just over 4 miles. Should be do-able.

Last weekend I dove right into training and mapped out a 6k route around my house. I decided just to alternate one day running and one day cycling, kept it up through the week and finished with an extra morning ride yesterday morning (the day of the race).

Monday and Tuesday were very painful days but it was only muscle pains, nothing deeper. I ran extremely slow all week as there was no point to worry about time for this race. I just wanted to be able to complete it. By Wednesday most of the aches and pains had subsided, I took my final long bike ride and felt as ready as I could be for the race on Thursday night.

The race started and finished at Olympiapark. I was not quite prepared for how massive the event was going to be. I met up with my colleagues and we changed into our shirts, got our race numbers and shoe chips for timing on and then headed over to the starting area.

There were roughly 30,000 people participating. A DJ was getting the crowd pumped up. We stood in groups depending on our estimated time for completion. Crowds of co-workers wandered past in groups of 10-20 in their matching team shirts. I felt like I was watching herds of animals crossing the great plains or schools of brightly colored fish darting in unison around a reef.

It was a hot night and the clouds were building up darker and darker as we waited to start. The first group (the real runners) went off and it was over 30 minutes before my group got to start. The first people had completed the race before we even started.

Just as I passed through the starting gate a few drops came down and before long lighting and thunder were crashing down, trees were blowing sideways and I was soaked to the bone. By then, there was no other point but to finish. Like cattle being chased down a chute we all kept racing along at our best pace through the storm. Some nice locals were outside under the umbrellas or on their balconies cheering and blowing leftover world cup vuvuzelas. I missed the marker for the 5th kilometer and just as I was wondering if the race would ever end I saw the marker 'only 300 meters more'.

We approached the Olympic Stadium in the dark and pouring rain broken only by flashes of lightning and claps of thunder and the squishing of soaked running shoes. The crowds of runners continued to pour into the bright stadium and everyone was waiting inside soaked, laughing and cheering for the ones who were just arriving. Sure we were slow as anything. But we made it!

I wandered home through the rain, soaked, raccoon eyed from mascara gone awry and looking forward to a nice hot shower to warm up and my warm bed to pass out in.

Posted from Munich

Part V

2010-07-22T16:00:00.004+02:00

I am not even sure why I am doing this anymore.

Really, it is a lost cause.

But it has been more than a year and I can't resist trying again.

Oh, that rotten language.

What motivated me this time? A few things.

1. Inspiration. Reading about my fellow expats' ambitions (for example, Blogness Monster and No Apathy Allowed)

2. Fear of Regression. I've realized that my English has gotten worser and worser but my German hasn't improved much since around 2007. At this rate, I may reduced to babbling random words in a mixed vocabulary by 2012. Or grunting and pointing.

3. Shame. Realizing also that in January I will have been in Germany for 5 years. Woah! It is beyond embarrassing when meeting new German people to have the standard discussion:
'Where are you from?'
'The US'
'Oh, how long have you been here?'
'Coming up on 5 years'
'Oh, you must speak German!'
'Umm, erm, well,'
'But after 5 years!'
'Gulp, I know.'

4. Competition. Although Mr. Kilt has been in Germany longer than me, it hasn't been that much longer and he manages just fine in German and I secretly suspect that I am smarter than him. So if he can learn it, I should be able to as well. (Heehee, if he ever reads this blog, boy am I in trouble!)

5. World Cup Foolishness. I promised that if Germany won the world cup I would learn German. They came in 3rd place. It must be a sign.

While it's under discussion if Mr. Kilt and I will stay here long term (another post in the making), in the event that we do, I need to try, try, try again.

Yes, make that the 5th time.

Classes start September 13, first day back from vacation in the US.

Posted from Munich

In the Airport

2010-07-19T12:59:00.005+02:00

Sometimes changes happen with a big bang, altering life as you know it in a moment. Other times, changes sneak their way into your life, subtly shifting the sands around until one day you are struck by the change in the landscape. What you knew so well and for so long has been replaced by something altogether new.

I always was a little bit afraid of what would happen to me if I eased off on my relentless travel and work schedule, even while I knew logically that if I ever wanted a different life from the one I was living I would have to give it up. I was worried I would become boring or bored and I wondered what satisfaction I would find if I shifted my energy to my personal life.

Many people would probably thing it is ridiculous to get so much enjoyment out of professional achievements at the expense of stability in personal life, but I thrived on it. Getting the final sign off on my doctorate, finishing my first project as a team member, then as a team lead, then moving on and achieving even more in an international setting than I ever would have believed possible gave me a lot of happiness. Sure, the cost was always high. A trail of destruction in my friendships, my relationships and even a brief marriage was left in my wake as I continuously set off for the next adventure. I never saw at the time what I was doing; it just seemed to all implode on its own over and over again.

During a cold, lonely winter in Zürich something finally started to click. I was devoting far too much energy to achievement for the sake of achievement. Something echoed in my head over and over during that winter, a line from the last argument M. and I ever had. 'Do you want to be in your 50s, single and no family, working on yet another crazy project, living somewhere like Hong Kong?'

I pondered that question a lot in the winter of 2009. Sometimes I could really see that as my future. Traveling the globe, climbing the corporate ladder, dependent on no one. But then what? If that all came to pass, would I really look back at my life and be happy with how I lived it? Independence, strength and self-sufficiency are all good things but are they worth it at the exclusion of the many other things life has to offer?

As often is the case, even when I started to feel that perhaps it was time for a change, life doesn't just fall into place at that moment. My motto may have become 'Underachieve at work and enjoy life more' but old habits die hard.

I moved back to Munich while starting another challenging project in Geneva that then took me to England and the Netherlands at first and then off to Mexico. Next thing I knew over a year had passed since the breakup with M. and on the surface little seemed to have changed.

Mexico felt special to me at the time. I embraced the time there and felt very sad when I decided to leave prematurely and roll the dice on finding a new project closer to home. It seemed I had the feeling of saying farewell to more than just a stint in Mexico. I was saying goodbye to a way of life I had lived for nearly 10 years.

In the background, some things were happening that did not seem so significant at first glance. After a long wait I had found and moved into a new apartment in Munich. I started dating Mr. Kilt. Meanwhile my boss encouraged me to hold out for the very slim possibility of some work in Munich, despite some tempting opportunities in Paris and Switzerland. I mean, Paris...it took all my will power to say no.

Last weekend I found myself in the airport for the first time in what seemed like ages. This trip had nothing to do with work. I was off to another weekend in Scotland with Mr. Kilt, for a wedding. Sitting in the airport, I remembered the life I was already forgetting.

Packing took longer than usual because I was out of practice. My suitcase was dusty. No need to stress about landing, meeting 50 strangers and immediately trying to figure out how to work with them and motivate them to deliver the impossible project in the impossible timeline. I wasn't leaving my man behind for the 30th week in a row; he was right by my side, as he is most days of the week, keeping me company, making me smile and filling up my heart and my life with all those things I was never sure I wanted. I try every day to do the same for him.

I don't feel bored or unsatisfied without the travel. In fact, I don't think about it at all. I still have plenty of challenging work. Less would be just fine actually.

Mr. Kilt and I boarded the plane together with a herd of other summer tourists. I smiled as I realized I don't miss that old life one little bit.

Posted from Munich

Sunday at the Hirschgarten

2010-06-27T20:27:00.004+02:00

It was a rough night for team USA last night who were eliminated by Ghana (2-1) from the 2010 Football (Soccer) World Cup. I decided to go whole hog in supporting the team and got decked out in a white sundress, straw cowboy hat and 3' by 5' American flag. I showed up at the AugustinerKeller beer garden two and a half hours before the game and had to wait about an hour before any of my friends showed up.

(Tip for single ladies, show up at a beer garden along, in a summery dress and cowboy hat and big American flag on the night of the US-Ghana game and you will meet loads of people...maybe not all the people you would like to meet, but still.)

What can I say about the result? Well, it sure was a lot of fun supporting the American team through their four appearances in the World Cup. It's a little strange being such an underdog and having most serious football fans thinking of our team and our fans as the cute younger brothers, trying to imitate everything the big brother does.

Mr. Kilt was hosting a bachelor party in Munich for a good university friend of his and they joined us to cheer on the States (well, mostly). We drew quite a few looks - one bachelor dressed up in dirndl and long, curly-haired blond wig, 11 friends of the bachelor mainly all from Scotland causing general havoc at the beer garden, 4 actual Americans, and random other hangers-on from Ireland, Austria, and Sri Lanka.

After the game, I headed home, walking absent-mindedly down the street, wrapped up in my flag. Chants of OO-ES-AH could be heard in my wake, and a few people actually stopped me to say good game or they were sorry we lost.

The game whet my appetite for the England-Germany game today. I climbed on my bike after lunch and headed to the Hirschgarten to watch the game with a few friends and several thousand rabid German fans interspersed with an England fan or two, clinging to each other for support.

I felt sure Germany would win and was not disappointed. The atmosphere was amazing. Finally a hottish summer day, crowds of people cheering at the top of their lungs and rewarded with a win for their team.

Only a couple more weeks to ride the ups and downs of the World Cup. While it is not by any stretch my favorite sport, any sport that captures the world's attention like football does is sure to resonate with me. All they have to do is show scenes of painted up fans and celebrations from around the world and I immediately feel simultaneously excited and dewey-eyed. It would be extra sweet if Germany manages to win the whole thing!

Posted from Munich

Birthdays

2010-06-20T00:35:00.001+02:00

My grandmother once told me that she was always a bit startled when she looked in the mirror. In her mind’s eye she still saw herself as a young girl, with all of life ahead of her.

Although age creeps up on us all gradually, I too get occasionally startled with how quickly the years are going by. The realization can come out of nowhere and hits me like a freight train. A milestone birthday. Hearing the birth age of friends who are considerably younger but adults in their own right. A sudden nostalgia for the way things used to be, something I used to laugh at my parents or grandparents for. Thinking that the kids today look ridiculous with their super-skinny jeans that stop about 8 inches shy of their waist and make their legs look like chicken legs. Having to wonder if I am too old to switch jobs now. The desire for security slowly overtaking the desire for freedom.

My father turned 60 a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to get home for his birthday but no one seemed too excited about it when I offered to make a trip to meet up in Boston so in the end I decided to postpone a celebration until I am home in September. When I spoke to my father on his birthday weekend, I told him I was disappointed we couldn’t be all together for the big day. I think as much as he would have liked to see me, he didn’t sound too upset about not having a big fuss made of his birthday. I wondered if for him it was also one of those startling reminders of the passage of time. Another birthday ending in an 0.

I know it is best to live in the moment with the right priorities and appreciate every day we get here. But isn’t there always something a little sad about days gone by and that whether you loved them or regretted them you can never have them back?

But nevermind all that. Happy 60th, Dad, and regardless of your age or what the mirror says, I know I for one still very much see this mischievous little boy in you.

PS. Happy Father's Day

Posted from Munich

Rainy Days

2010-06-03T15:41:00.003+02:00

I don't remember the last time I saw the sun.

For days it has been pouring down rain. It reminds me a bit of Singapore, except the rain has not been warm. I haven't had too much time to notice since work has gotten extremely busy again but today we started a four day weekend in Munich so I was looking forward to a special bike ride that was planned with the cycling gang. In the end, we all wimped out yesterday due to the weather.

Although I really wanted to go, I am kind of glad to have had a quiet day at home. I worked late last night, got to bed around midnight and had a nice long sleep until about 10.30. When I finally got up, I had a little breakfast, tidied up the kitchen then sprawled on the sofa (my new sofa!!) and watched Godfather III with Mr. Kilt.

Sometimes you just need a chilled out holiday and it's nice not to feel guilty doing it because the weather is so nice outside.

The weather is supposed to make a sharp turn from what it has been this weekend and not a moment too soon. It will warm up to the mid-20s by Saturday and the sun should finally make an appearance. Just in time for a big BBQ party Mr. Kilt and I are hosting. We invited 20 people, thinking that with the holiday only a handful would be around. As luck would have it, 18 of them said yes! This triggered some pretty serious list-making activity over the last two weeks and tomorrow the preparation starts. It's a lot of effort but I love it.

For those who haven't heard yet, the Whiney Expats Blogger Meet Up date has been settled. It will be September 12-14 in Hamburg. I am disappointed since I cannot attend but would still encourage any of you other bloggers in Germany to try to make it.

Finally, on a sadder note, I have been watching the depressing situation in the Gulf of Mexico. It's heartbreaking to see what is happening to the wildlife. Of course there is the usual blame game going on but I can't help but feel we are all in part guilty for this. Even though it is much easier to be green in Europe, I still fly, I still drive a car from time to time, and we are all directly and indirectly highly dependent on oil in all aspects of our life. Maybe it's time to go Amish.

Posted from Munich

Revisiting a First

2010-05-26T19:47:00.004+02:00

The very first time I came to Europe, in December 2004, with my shiney new passport in hand, I flew from Washington DC to Zurich, connected to Frankfurt, spent a night there with M. and then we headed east to the great city of Prague. In some people's opinion, the city was already spoiled by the great influx of tourists and the Western influence on the culture and economy after the fall of communism.

To me it was simply magic. The beautiful architecture, the cozy restaurants and bars, the delicious food and the impression that it was both exotic and familiar all added up to an unforgettable trip and the best ringing in of the New Year I could imagine.

That was five years ago and I had not been back since until this weekend. It was hard to compare this trip to the last visit. It was freezing cold winter, I had just met M. and Europe was completely unexplored by me. This time it was warm and sunny, I have lived in Europe for over four years and seen much more and journeyed with my Mr. Kilt.

One thing has not changed though. I still love Prague.

We spent one night in a small village outside of Prague, visiting a friend of Mr. Kilt, his wife and 1 year old baby. Lovely and silly. Down to earth people and a smiley, cute baby, and a nightcap of Croatian wine and Bon Jovi on DVD. Then we moved into the city for a second night. The weather was spectacular and since I had already seen most of the sites on the first visit, we just kind of strolled aimlessly, chatted about life, stopped here and there so I could shoot and then joined the massive crowd in the main square to watch the World Hockey Championships Final - Czech against Russia, with Czech winning. The crowd was ecstatic but well-behaved although a few probably overindulged and were teetering around.

The one thing I did not realize before is that Prague is only a 3 hour drive from Munich. Now that I know that, I won't wait 5 years to go back again!

Posted from Munich

Hamburg 2010

2010-05-26T19:32:00.003+02:00

It's that time of year again!

Time for the Whiney Expat Blogger Meetup (WEBMU) voting and planning. I am posting this a bit late and the location has already been decided.

This year's (un)fortunate city...Hamburg!

I was in Hamburg in the late fall last year and really enjoyed the city so am all aboard with this decision. If I am calculating correctly there is less than a week left to choose the weekend, so if you are thinking about joining and have not already done so, go ahead and vote.

The options are August 27-29, September 10-12 and October 22-24. September 10-12 is winning by a slim margin but I am secretly hoping that the October date comes through as it is the only weekend I can make it this year.

Regardless, I would encourage any of you bloggers out there in Germany who have never been to give it a go! It is always a fun time.

The link to the site for information and voting is available here.

Posted from Munich

Purple Heather

2010-05-17T10:24:00.000+02:00

Posted from Munich

Fishing Village

2010-05-17T10:23:00.000+02:00

Posted from Munich

Wallace Memorial

2010-05-17T10:20:00.003+02:00

Posted from Munich

Scones with Strawberry Jam & Clotted Cream

2010-05-17T10:18:00.002+02:00

Posted from Munich

Sunset at St. Andrews

2010-05-17T10:16:00.001+02:00

Posted from Munich

Highland Bulls

2010-05-17T10:14:00.001+02:00

A few more shots from our lovely trip...

Posted from Munich

Scotland

2010-05-13T16:31:00.005+02:00

"You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood ... back home to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame ... back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time — back home to the escapes of Time and Memory."

--Thomas Wolfe

Maybe. Maybe.

But at least we visited. Scotland in and of itself is beautiful, moody, friendly and barbed. Scotland and Mr. Kilt together blew me away. I think to really know someone, you need to know where they come from. During our trip, I got the atomic blast of all things Mr. Kilt.

I met the parents, his two brothers, his brand-new sister-in-law and his best friends from university. I saw the houses he grew up in, the storied university apartment, and where he lived when he had his university internship, driving a Coke van around Scotland for a year trying to sell Cola fridges. I tried all his favorite foods and listened to all the stories about neighborhood bullies, uni pranks, sports glory (his and his favorite football team's) and his distinguished (ahem) scholarly record. We attended one of his best friend's weddings and fell in love with another friend's new baby.

I was asked before the trip by our mutual friend if I was nervous to spend so much time together but I wasn't. We fit each other and even when we had to go through the Great Train Adventure to get home a day late, I can't imagine not having him around every day.

We saw a lot on the trip. We rented a car in York where we started our journey and drove around most of Scotland, excluding the very far north and the islands. We stayed in some charming and some not-so-charming bed and breakfasts. I could not get enough of the sheep and highland bulls and I am sure we were drawing a lot of stares as we did our best imitations of the baby sheep while walking around Glasgow. I wanted to pet the bulls but Mr. Kilt thought I might be taking my life into my hands. We had a tour of the Talisker Whisky factory and I loved the smell of the malt and the sharp sting of the whisky.

I could not resist photographing everything and in the end had over 700 pictures when I got home. The landscape, the buildings, the animals and the weather worked together to create a photographer's paradise.

I was sorry to leave on Sunday night but as we arrived at the airport for our flight home we saw that it was canceled. The ash cloud strikes again! It was quite an adventure getting home. We had a few options - wait for the airport to re-open, drive, take the train, take a ferry and any combination thereof. In the end, all we could really do was catch the last train from Edinburgh to London, spend a few hours at a questionable hotel outside the train station, ride the Eurostar to Paris at 5.30 in the morning and after a 4 hour wait in Paris (where we took full advantage of the sun and Parisian sidewalk cafes and croissants!) we caught two more trains to finally arrive in Munich 24 hours later. And I still like Mr. Kilt, even after all that.

It will be my turn in late August to share where I come from with Mr. Kilt and I hope I can show him half as good a time as he showed me!

Posted from Munich

Public Holidays and Vacation

2010-04-29T09:31:00.005+02:00

I know. I have gotten so spoiled.

When May is approaching, I start daydreaming about long hikes, weekend getaways, barbeques on the Isar, and days off...

In Germany, and especially in Bavaria, there are more public holidays than I had ever dreamed possible. And in May and June there are two or more long weekends, where the holiday is observed on a Thursday and it is almost assumed that you will take Friday and maybe even Monday off. The Friday is called a bridge day and most people take advantage of the nice weather and holiday to either enjoy the great outdoors in and around Munich or skip out of town for a few days.

This year it did not work out optimally.

There are 13 public holidays recognized in Bavaria, more than anywhere else in Germany. They are:

New Year - Jan 1
Epiphany - Jan 6
Good Friday - April/Varies*
Easter Monday - April/Varies*
1st of May - May 1
Ascension Day - May or June/Varies*
Whit Monday - May or June/Varies*
Corpus Christi - June/Varies*
Assumption Day - Aug 15
German Unification Day - Oct 3
All Saints Day - Nov 1
Christmas Day - Dec 25
Boxing Day - Dec 26

Those marked with a (*) are fixed on a weekday (Thursday, Friday or Monday). For the rest it's luck of the draw. If they fall on a Sunday, or worse a Saturday, for the normal Monday to Friday working folks it is just another weekend day. If it falls on Saturday all stores are closed, resulting in no shopping possible at all for the weekend as the stores are always closed on Sundays.

So, in 2009, as it worked out 10 of the holidays fell on weekdays. So 10 days off! However in 2010, we will only get 8 days off. Bugger. In 2011, it is back to happier days (off) and we will have 10 again.

Now, comparing to the US, the number of holidays is really dependent on your job and employer. Federal employees observe 10 (yes 10!) holidays and generally get a Friday or a Monday off if the holiday falls on a weekend. I guess federal employees are the Bavarians of the US.

Most businesses observe a total of 6 holidays (New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). Three are always fixed on a Monday and one always on a Thursday so the typical American can expect at least 4 days off each year. Businesses may or may not choose to grant a Friday or Monday off when the holiday falls on a weekend and may also give the Friday after Thanksgiving off. So best case, we are talking 7 days off for the year.

It's worse for those working in retail. For them, usually the only guaranteed holidays are Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day, when the stores are actually closed.

So, in America, the worst case is 2 days off and best case is up to 10.

Combine the public holidays with the average number of vacation days per country (US a measly 13 and Germany a generous 35) and it becomes a major quality of life point in favor of Germany. Even in my line of work, where we are under heavy pressure to achieve project deadlines, taking vacation time is treated as sacred and not to be challenged unless under the most extraordinary of circumstances.

In the US, my vacation time piled up each year because there was never an ok time to go. The spoken and unspoken pressure and implied consequences of actually chilling out for a few weeks meant that few manage more than a week or maybe two each year even when they have a more generous vacation package. You can understand then a little bit better the crazy American tourist, who feels compelled to visit 6 countries in 7 days. There is no time for loafing around, even on holiday.

When I first moved to Switzerland I found it shocking how much time we spent discussing and planning holidays into our project schedules and how forbidden it was to consider denying, delaying or cancelling vacations when project schedules and budgets were billowing out of control. Four years later, I am more than happy to have the time to recharge throughout the year. I come back with new ideas, more energy, a fresh perspective and more productive then I was when I was on the death march in the US. You can argue whether or not Europeans are more productive with their fewer hours in the office I suppose. I don't have any data to support either position. However, I personally have come to appreciate my work-life balance and still feel I manage to achieve my goals at work.

So, after a very intense period at work recently, I will be enjoying life European style for the next two weeks and recharging a bit. Tomorrow I fly to England to meet up with Mr. Kilt and we will tour parts of Scotland for a week. The week we return, I am headed for a long weekend (oh yes, including a bridge day) in Sicily. The camera is cleaned up and tuned and I am hoping to capture lots of nice photos of the trips and also just enjoying time with Mr. Kilt and relaxing!

Posted from Munich

Model for A Day

2010-04-27T17:12:00.004+02:00

Tiny drops of perspiration dotted my nose. From behind the runway curtain, in the staging area for the show, the crowd sounded massive and a bit frightening. The pounding bass from the DJ matched the racing of my accelerating heartbeat as I realized after nine hours of training, hair, make-up, wardrobe fitting and anxious moments of waiting, it was showtime! In just a few seconds it would be time to strut my stuff down the catwalk in front of the huge crowd gathered for the Schatzi Dirndl 2010 collection.

For a brief moment, I wondered why I didn't decide to sit in the photographers' pit again for a second year, but it was too late to think much more about that.

The experience has left me with a newfound respect for models. I suppose they get used to it but for someone who has never done this kind of thing before it was quite an experience. The day was very long; it took almost 9 hours to prepare plus the hour for the show itself. I was pinched, prodded and poked and occasionally lost as much of the instruction was in German. Not everything fit perfectly and there were periods when I couldn't even breathe. The make-up and hair team were engaged in some kind of tactical warfare with us models as the targets. Every few minutes, I would be either fumigated with hairspray or grenaded with face powder. I didn't dare blink as these were stealthy attacks and I needed to be prepared for each assault.

I would have loved to have done some time-lapse photography on the room where we were all getting ready to show how over the course of day the room exploded into life. First the models arrived, then the hair and make-up team, the photographers and musicians, the dirndls and finally the jewelry team and the women who were to help us through all our dirndl changes. By the end of the show the room was a riot of color and clothing and chatter.

I was not a natural and some of the photographs I have seen expose my inexperience. Awkward poses and strange facial expressions revealed my moments of insecurity. On the other hand, given I knew nothing about fashion shows before yesterday morning, I am happy to have had a fun day, met some nice girls and tried something I never thought in my life I would have done. And, oh the dirndls. I loved the collection and getting to wear four gorgeous dirndls!

So there goes my fifteen minutes of (dubious) fame I suppose but now I can add runway model to my CV. And, yes, I get a kick out of that.

Posted from Munich

At Least It's Not Boring

2010-04-15T21:22:00.003+02:00

I think I read somewhere once that the body perceives good and bad stress much the same way. To be honest, after all the internal and external pressure I have had over the last years, I don't get too wound up about a lot of things anymore.

This week though, I have had sweaty palms, restless nights and a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yet all of it seems to be from the good kind of stress so I think maybe it is true about how the body responds to all stress.

There is a lot of newness in my life right now.

I started my new 'project' in Munich last week. However, this is completely different than anything I have done before. I have moved from delivery focused project management to sales and account management. I am fascinated by the entrepreneurial aspects of what I am doing and feel enthusiastic about the opportunity. At the same time, I am largely on my own, in uncharted territory and not only do I have to figure out what is I should be trying to achieve but also how. Part of the time I feel like I am fumbling around in the dark or running in circles and I am relying almost all on intuition now. I have to take a step back each morning and evening, pull out my compass and check if I seem to have headed in the right direction or I need to backtrack and try something new. When I see any progress, however big or small, it is thrilling because I can see the direct result of my effort and creativity. But I also feel a lot of accountability if something goes wrong. Sum of it all though is that I love trying this oh so very new thing.

Someone shared a favorite quote of hers with me a few weeks ago and it seems very appropriate right now.

'Leap and your net will appear.' Good stress.

On the relationship front, I am also in new territory. Sure I have had plenty of relationships before. But this one seems different. The more I get to know Mr. Kilt, the more I like, respect and trust him. I never have to say 'but' about him. You know what I mean.

He's great, but...
I think he likes me, but...
We have a lot in common, but...

There is no but. I just enjoy him, his attitude, how he treats me, doing nice things for him, and making plans for the future with him.

It's good and it's exciting. A girl gets butterflies from something like that.

We have a week in Scotland booked for the first week in May and now are planning 16 days in the US around Labor Day. I'm going to show him around a bit and introduce him to the friends and family. Good stress!

All of that would probably be fine but then I really went and did it yesterday. I thought she was joking. However, the woman who designed my dirndls is doing her annual fashion show of her 2010 collection and has asked me to walk in it. And I agreed. I have NEVER done anything like that! So in just over a week I will spend 8 hours getting primped, trained on runway walking and squeezed into one or more dirndls to strut my stuff in front of 500 people. I keep thinking of the SATC episode with the runway catastrophe and am hoping I can stay on my feet.

Now I really am stressed.

Posted from Munich

The Easter Bunny

2010-04-01T21:56:00.003+02:00

It is too quiet here.

This evening started the four day Easter holiday weekend in Munich. Many friends are out of town, taking advantage of the time off with a little getaway. Mr. Kilt left last night for Edinburgh for his brother's bachelor party weekend.

So here I am, relaxing at home with a cup of hot chocolate and the DVD player fired up to watch a couple episodes of Mad Men.

The weather has been a bit odd. It seemed we were surely into spring over the last couple of weeks but today as I sat in the backseat of a taxi on my way to meet a client this afternoon, snowflakes started slowly drifting downwards and then the pace quickly picked up. Soon it was snowing hard and I wondered if it was actually Christmas or Easter.

I had a late lunch with a colleague at a hole in the wall Italian restaurant. The colleauge is the account manager for the client we visited today and we decided to knock off work after the visit and spent a few hours chatting and discussing strategy, triviality and life. Only in Europe...

Once I got home I remembered the stores are closed all day Friday, Sunday and Monday so if I wanted any food for the weekend I had better hustle before the stores were closed tonight or face a fierce and angry mob in the stores on Saturday. The grocery store was the typical pre-holiday mob scene anyway. Remember, stores are smaller than most American homes and when all of Munich is trying to pack in and get what they need to survive for 4 days, it is only a matter of time before the store is decimated. One poor guy was trying to restock but was causing such a traffic jam in the tiny aisles that he was nearly getting trampled and no one could get to the milk. I mean, we need to get milk! It's right up there with eggs and bread for all pre-crisis shopping mobs' must haves. Carts, people and squashed produce littered the floors and I was run over at least twice. At one point a girl asked me in English if I could help her get a basket and I gave her a blank German stare because I was not expecting to hear English. Oh man, I am becoming one of them! I am always too ambitious and load up the cart with way too much only to realize I need to lug it all home, even if home is only a few blocks away. Nevermind that we only have dorm sized fridges with a freezer that can only hold one small pizza box. I knew as I was walking home it would be my last time out of the house tonight.

Chilled and tired, I built a fire, put on some nice music and giggled at the artifacts Mr. Kilt has left all over the place. Seriously, that man has spoiled me rotten. A half dozen red roses were still blooming on my table from an airport pickup last Friday. Post-it notes appear in random places that I only find sometimes days after he has hidden them but they are always guaranteed to put a smile on my face. An Easter basket of bath and spa goodies, chocolate, and a few goofy How I Met Your Mother (our Sunday evening ritual) gifts sat in the living room. And for Saturday, he booked me a massage at my favorite spa in town. Spoiled. Rotten. And never letting him go.

I hold my own and love thinking up ways to surprise him back.

All of that is nice, but I miss just having him here to talk to and hang out with. Life is brighter when he's around.

Some exciting news - we are heading to Scotland the first week of May. Vacation was approved this week and the flights are booked. I'm not too sure what exactly we are doing other than attending one of his friend's wedding in Edinburgh, visiting the Isle of Skye and St. Andrews, tasting some whisky and visiting a castle or two. I guess that is already enough!

So onto my lazy, quiet weekend. Cheers!

Posted from Munich

Springtime in Munich

2010-03-22T11:31:00.004+01:00

I don't know where the time has gone but this past weekend marked one year since my return to Munich to start my post M life. It also marked the first spring-like weather for 2010. The temperature has risen into the teens, the snow is nearly all gone, the sky alternated between beautiful Bavarian blue and cloudy with sprinkles. The first naked German was spotted. Ah yes, spring has sprung.

I had fun with my visiting friend and expect I will make a trip up to Brussels to see her, her husband and their kids sometime this summer, probably with Mr. Kilt in tow as they also hit it off. My friend and I had quite a lot of discussion over the weekend about kids, family, working as a mother (or not). I have known this friend since we worked together in the US in 2002. When we met she was married to her former husband, just starting her career and neither of us would have expected that life would have carried us over to Europe. I liked seeing how her life has evolved over the time we have known each other and seeing her content in her life with her Belgian husband, her two children and two step-children. She has a great sense of humor and we got more than our share of German stares as the two of us we chatting and laughing like fools as we wandered around Munich. Friends are good for the soul.

Yesterday, we had our 2010 inaugural visit to the beer garden. Mr. Kilt, my friend and I took a paddle boat around the lake in the English Garden and then headed over to the Chinese tower where they tried a half-mass of starkbier (Lenten season strong beer) and for me a Radler. I love beer garden season and it will be even better than usual this summer with showings of the World Cup games.

Sadly I did not take my bike out as planned yesterday since it was raining quite a bit prior to the meetup time. I am not too worried though, there are plenty of opportunities to come.

All in all, it was a nice, stress-free weekend in Munich and now I am getting ready to fly to London tomorrow for a few days of training.

Happy Monday.
Posted from Munich

New Love

2010-03-19T23:08:00.005+01:00

No, this isn't another sappy post about Mr. Kilt (although I could write at least another 20).

Today when I got home from Mannheim, I headed over to the bike shop to pick up my new bike. After all the cycling tours last summer on my trusty Dutch bike, I decided I really wanted something that could handle trails and the hills in the countryside better. Last weekend, I headed over to the Trek store in Munich, told the boys what I was looking for and took a few test runs.

I quickly fell in love with a mountain bike and after the agreement on a discount and free switch of the tires, I had bought my second bike.

Mr. Kilt met me at the bike shop for the pick up and we had it fitted with lights and bought a lock and then I rode around the parking lot for half an hour to, erm, make sure everything was working okay. Alright, I actually just wanted to play. Hee hee.

If the weather holds up, the first Sunday cycling tour is planned for this weekend with about 15 people signed up. Only a big loop around Munich but I am looking forward to giving the bike (and my legs) a longer work out and catching up with the cycling gang after the long winter.

I also have some company this weekend. An American friend of mine who lives in Brussels is flying in tomorrow and spending Saturday and Sunday with me. I have a fun weekend planned for her but mostly looking forward to catching up and girl time.

Posted from Munich

Puzzle Pieces

2010-03-15T08:08:00.003+01:00

I always loved doing puzzles.

Every year on my family’s summer vacation we would find some puzzles to do in our rental cottages. I would choose one, usually the most difficult one that I could find, and for the next week or two make it my project.

I would get a sense of what it should look like then start laying down the frame. Always the frame first to set the boundaries and give it some structure.

Then I would find the unique sections. Maybe there were some special colors in one area, or a different pattern, a face perhaps. It didn’t really matter but on a huge puzzle I had to start filling in the frame somewhere and I went for whatever stood out.

After the obvious pieces were in place, it always got a little more challenging. Perhaps there was a vast section of blue sky, with little to differentiate one blue puzzle piece from dozens of others. My father or sister might help out for awhile.
I felt more disconnected from the sections they worked on as I hadn’t struggled with them myself, yet they were still part of completing the whole.

As more and more of the puzzle came together, the pieces fell in place faster and faster. Finally down to the last dozen or so pieces, I could see how the final result would look and with a last few satisfying snaps, I would sit back to admire the finished product.

Of course, the process of assembling was more fun than when it was actually finished.

But when one puzzle was finished, so it could start all again with a new one.

In the last weeks, life feels like it has reached the last dozen or so pieces of this particular puzzle and they are snapping quickly into place.

I am writing this from what should be my final train ride to Mannheim. On Friday night my phone started ringing off the hook and texts were flying in. I found out that the sales deal I had been supporting the last few weeks had been signed. A contract for a long term project. In Munich.

Like making a puzzle, I have over the last year been putting in place the frame, the sections I could manage and, without realizing it, coming closer and closer to those last dozen or so pieces falling into place. There was help from my friends and family to shape certain sections and sometimes without knowing why or where it was going, I fought to stay in the frame I laid out a year ago.

I called Mr. Kilt to tell him the good news and agreed to meet up with him after dinner with the girls. When I arrived, he had left a trail of post it notes from the front door to the living room. ‘This way for a surprise. -> ‘Only Boston Red Sox fans past this point.’ ‘Congratulations, honey.’ I was giggling like a fool, following one note after the other, until I turned the corner. He was sitting there with a bottle of pink champagne, two glasses, and a big grin, waiting to celebrate the good news!

With that, the last piece of one puzzle snapped into place and, well, I think I will sit back, admire and enjoy it for a little while and get ready to start the next one.

Posted from DB

Comings and Goings

2010-03-10T19:53:00.004+01:00

I am about due for my annual rant about how I must learn German (see how I used the very German 'must'?), followed by feverish activity to plan how that will happen, followed by less feverish actions to make it happen, followed by yet another admission of defeat. But I'll hold that thought for another day because something else is on my mind.

It is nearly one year since I moved back to Munich.

I have no clue how that went so fast. When I was getting ready to move back, I made this list about what I was most looking forward to upon my return and below a small update on how I did.

10. The Weather
Yes, still love it, current winter fatigue aside

9. Hopfisterei
Faithfully on the breakfast table every weekend

8. Beer Gardens
Took full advantage of them last summer and will be even more fun this summer with World Cup viewings to look forward to!

7. Dirndls
Added dirndl number 3 to the collection last summer. Maybe throwing that on in the next couple of weeks for Starkbierfest. Or maybe will just put it on and run around the house. Love them!

6. My Own Kitchen
See recent food photography posts. That's coming from my beautiful and slowly but steadily approaching fully stocked kitchen.

5. The Cloud
In the Heavenly Bed since Jan 2010

4. The Mountains
I make it to the mountains on average once a month. Due to my new passion for cycling, I didn't have as much time for hiking last summer as I expected. But between drives, hikes and skiing, oh yeah! The Mountains!

3. Viktualienmarkt
It's not for my day to day shopping but for any special occasion I start with a trip to Viktualienmarkt. Latest was for the Paella dinner to get the best possible seafood and yummy appetizers.

2. Decorating
It took a lot longer to find the apartment than I expected. So is the decorating. But I have to admit I am in love with what I got so far. Dining table, Heavenly bed, a desk, a guest bed, and some chairs. A sofa was just ordered and should make it by May. Probably the highlight so far has been printing out my photos and framing them to hang around the apartment.

1. Making Friends
I have really been lucky here. I sought out friends and found them. From the Greek bartenders, to the weekend cycling group, from the SATC ladies, to my photographer pals, from my ski buddies, to the German colleauges turned friends, all the people who have entered my life in the last year have made it really special.

But...

Now it is time to say goodbye.

No, not me! Didn't you just read all of the above?

And don't even get me gushing about fellow Münchener Mr. Kilt. No, I am happy in Munich.

But as is natural in life, especially the life of an expat with many expat friends, contracts end, relationships end, and reasons for staying disappear. Alternatively, reasons for leaving present themselves. And so, people go.

I haven't had to deal with that too much. The first three years in Munich my friends were colleagues in Basel who were all from different cities already or friends of M.'s who were German and never going to move anywhere. Ever.

Now, my non-colleague, non-German friends are set to leave in droves this year. Not all of them of course but enough that I foresee a large vacuum being created in their wake. I am happy for them, for those that want to go, and sad for me, who would like these wonderful people to stay. I hope to keep making more friends as new people come but I see that this will become a never-ending cycle.

For now, I am just bracing for a summer full of farewell parties.

Posted from Mannheim

When You Can't Run Away from Winter

2010-03-08T08:33:00.004+01:00

I spent Tuesday through Thursday last week in Mannheim where I am doing what is hopefully a short term assignment as I await news on a possible long term gig in Munich. Finally, finally the awful cold that has plagued me for a month was fading away following a week's worth of antibiotics. As always, whenever I start to feel comfortable in my job, it throws me a new curveball but it felt good to be back to work after a few weeks home and I was still happy from the promotion news, so the challenge was welcome.

I took a late train back on Thursday night and was looking forward to a home office day on Friday, dinner and an evening out with the girls on Saturday and, most of all, seeing Mr. Kilt. We had originally planned to go out for dinner Friday night with his former boss and his wife but he decided to postpone it for a quiet night in until I was fully recovered.

The weather had turned bitter cold again with snow in the forecast. Normally I like long, drawn out winters but after being ill for so long and with limited prospects of more skiing this season, I am for once ready for an early spring. Well, there is not much you can do to control the weather. A girl from New England learns this early on in life. But, you can create whatever season you want in your own house.

And what I wanted to create was Spain. Warm, sunny, and with some fantastic food to boot.

With that in mind, I headed off to the Viktualienmarkt for some seafood, appetizers and a bit of wine to make my own Mediterranean dinner on Friday night with Mr. Kilt. I returned home and was finishing up work for the week when the doorbell rang. I racked my brain for what I had ordered and couldn't think of anything but waited at the top of the elevator to see what was coming.

A warm, sunny bouquet of flowers from Mr. Kilt! Bright orange and yellow flowers, perfect for the Mediterranean dinner. I was beaming.

An hour later, the doorbell rang again. Hmm..now what? It was another bouquet. Honestly. This time from my friend and colleague C., who had spent New Year's with me. A congratulations for the promotion!

Was I feeling spoiled? You betcha! Some days are just too good.

In the evening, I built a fire and Mr. Kilt came over. We made the paella together and barring one chopping accident, I'd say we did pretty well. For anyone looking for a good paella recipe, I can recommend this one from allrecipes. I put in whatever seafood is priced ok and looks nice from the store, so substitute away! It will still be great.

I'm on my way back to Mannheim but can't wait to get home to Munich on Thursday.

Posted from BD

Zell Am See

2010-03-03T21:31:00.003+01:00

A sunset walk along the lake and into town where dinner for two awaited.

Posted from Mannheim

When You're Not Looking

2010-03-02T07:31:00.005+01:00

Life can be such a tease.

The last two years, I have been trying for a promotion at work and have missed it both times by a hair. The first time I was just surprised. The second time I was just discouraged. Over time, I started to think that maybe it was a sign and came to a conclusion that life was ‘helping’ me in another direction. My career has always important to me. But had it become too important or, even worse, the only thing?

With all that in mind, I started declining 'exotic' project locations for any long term assignments to have more time to carve out my personal life at home. My boss fully supported me and has more than once reminded me of this when the lure of far off destinations started to suck me in. I forced myself always to go home for a weekend before making any decisions on offers and, sure enough, once the initial excitement wore off and I reconnected with my friends for a couple of days, it was a lot easier to get some perspective and say no. It will always appeal to me to explore the world but I am more cautious now and more aware of the consequences of the hobo lifestyle.

Now, let's go back to New Year's Eve. 2009 was a tough but important year for me. It took me a long time to sort out what to do next with my life. Almost one year ago, I made the decision to give Munich another try. I was blessed to meet a lot of wonderful people, to explore so much of Munich that I had missed in the pervious three years and finally to find my apartment, my home. Over the summer and fall, I tentatively started to go on some dates and finally open up to the possibility of letting someone into my life again.

So what about New Year's? The day I was dumped as you might recall. It was not the best day but I appreciated the feeling of closure that a short-lived mistake had ended with little time wasted and that I could start 2010 with a clean slate. We needed to quickly regroup and find alternative plans for the night. I had a friend in town visiting and wanted her to have fun even though I wasn’t so sure I would.

After a few phone calls, we had a packed schedule, but the first thing I wanted to do was spend a couple hours at one of my girlfriend's houses where she was having a laid back gathering that evening, mainly with her other Scottish friends who live in Munich. My friend and I showed up all glammed up from an afternoon of hair and make-up with my hairdresser Klaus, a makeover genius, and spent a few hours with the group before heading on to the next parties. One of the guys at the party, who I had met once before last summer, didn't even recognize me and re-introduced himself.

After we left, my friend asked me about him, if maybe he was single and someone I could go out with. I laughed it off and told her to forget it. I had been interested after the first time I met him but he didn't even remember me. Jerk. And off we went without another thought about it.

But he was thinking about it.

I saw him a couple weeks later when I joined the Scottish mafia for curry night. Then again a couple weeks later I was out with the girls, including our mutual friend who had hosted the New Year’s Eve party. She mentioned he was going to join us a little later. Hmmmm. Ok.

That night, once he arrived, we fell easily into step together and haven't looked back since. He asked me out for dinner the following week. Apparently he had wanted to since New Year's Eve and the Scottish mafia had gone so far as drafting a group SMS to send me that night before sense got ahold of them that maybe it wasn’t the best way to impress a girl and it stayed in the draft box. Finally we got a nudge, or a shove, from my matchmaking friend who saw it more clearly than us. One month after New Year's Eve it began.

And it is how it should be. Straightforward. Friendly. Uncomplicated. Fun. Humorous. Considerate. Compatible. Reliable. Mutual.

Coming at a time when I have more clarity about my priorities and what I want.

Then the call came. On Friday night, the Scot and I were high on Gummi Bears and giggling (ok, I was doing most of the Gummi Bear eating and giggling) in the car on our way down to Austria for a ski weekend and my phone started ringing.

Late for a Friday. It was my boss.

Calling to congratulate me.

A decision had been made to do a few mid-year promtions.

While I wasn't looking, that promotion snuck up on me. It’s not the most important thing to me anymore but still a nice feeling.

I like 2010 so far.

Posted from Mannheim

Photography of Food

2010-02-24T20:08:00.005+01:00

I love to cook.

I love to photograph what I cook.

Food photography is sexy!

Posted from Munich

Sick Days

2010-02-17T22:02:00.003+01:00

It seems to be going around. Gallons of nasty snot, sore throat, fever and eventually a hacking cough. Fatigue.

So, being in between projects again, I spent last week in Frankfurt doing some internal work while feeling miserable at the start of this nasty bug. Towards the end of the week I was feeling better and thought it was passing. Then it came back with a vengeance on Sunday at which point I decided to take myself out of the game and stay home for a few days to recover.

No going out. No staying up late. No travel. No fasching. Just rest, homemade chicken noodle soup, videos and reading.

And french toast. Yum.

Posted from Munich

Niederlassungserlaubnis

2010-02-09T13:56:00.002+01:00

Once again, I spent a morning at the Place that Shall Not Be Named, hopefully for the last time. In October I applied for permanent residency in Germany and this was the first chance I had to go back to see if the application had gone through.

In Germany, as an American citizen, you typically have to wait five years to qualify to apply. While I have been in Europe for just over four years now, the clock only started in October of 2007 when I became an employee of my company's Munich office. Germany has a program to immediately qualify applicants if they are specializing in certain career fields and make a minimum income on a permanent German contract. At first I did not qualify due to the income requirements but the law was changed in December 2008 and I could then apply. At that time, I was living in Zürich and not sure I was coming back to Munich but that was actually one of the deciding factors for my return to Germany last March. I did not like being bound to my employer to live in Europe and wanted to have more flexibility if I wanted to stay in Germany but leave my job.

The woman who had handled my application was out sick today but her grumpy colleague was happy to assist (sarcasm). After waiting two hours, it was my turn and finished in a matter of minutes. I am very pleased that I now have more control over whether I stay or go and who I can work for. Some friends have asked, does this mean I am a German citizen. Well, the answer is no, I am still an American citizen and have no plans to change that. Also, if I leave Germany for too long I lost my residency so it's not truly permanent, only conditionally permanent.

So, I have a brand new American passport as of Monday good for 10 years (although my 4th since living here) and my permanent residency. Maybe I can avoid some bureaucracy for a little while. At least German and American bureaucracy.

Posted from DB Train

50 mm

2010-02-07T20:08:00.003+01:00

I went out to dinner with a friend on Friday night and we brought some of our camera gear, as we tend to do. We are both fans of Canon equipment so between the two of us have quite a selection of gear. He convinced me that I needed to try his fixed 50mm lens and it was love at first shot.

I read some reviews on the lens - which is priced at 100 Euros, exceptionally cheap as far as lenses go - and across the board it seems to be the darling of many photographers. It really is kind of suprising how little I know about the technical aspects of the camera and lenses.

I am having an internal debate about whether or not learning more about the equipment and possibly taking some lessons will improve my photography. Sometimes I think my cluelessness, if that is a word, is part of what works for me. My friend put that thought out of my mind and encouraged me to go and give some lessons a try if for no other reason than to stimulate my creativity and have more photography friends.

So the first few shots from my new friend, 50mm.

Posted from Munich

Winter Wash Out

2010-02-03T00:47:00.001+01:00

I know. A lot of photos lately. But, they make me happy.

Posted from Geneva

And Now for A Change Of Scenery

2010-01-31T21:58:00.003+01:00

It has been snowing the most beautiful, fluffy, snow-globe-like snow for the last few days in Germany. Stunning!

Posted from Munich

Feel

2010-01-29T20:35:00.001+01:00

Posted from Munich

Smile

2010-01-29T20:31:00.001+01:00

Posted from Almost There

Music

2010-01-29T20:24:00.002+01:00

Posted Somewhere on the Outskirts of Munich

Dancing

2010-01-29T20:14:00.002+01:00

Posted from A Train Barreling through a Snowstorm in the Dark of Night

Snake

2010-01-27T22:24:00.002+01:00

I mentioned earlier that I was planning a girls' weekend sometime early this year. We had decided shortly before Christmas to go to Rome in late February as it was one of the few places that met all of the long list of complicated criteria from my dear friends. However, in the end, we decided that we would hold off on Rome in February and plan something later when the weather is warmer.

For a variety of reasons, I feel like I am always fighting to be home in Munich with limited success. Perhaps it is just a temporary frustration, the result of a rocky few weeks where I am being flung far and wide with no immediate end in sight. Or maybe the seemingly endless travel for work that drags me away time and again from home. And the growing concern that if I wanted to stop all of this, I would really struggle to survive with a different career in Munich. Not to mention, the ever present reminders of my passion to explore new places and a sense that that might never go away and continue to carry me away. I wonder how much longer I will fight against the tide to be here?

These feelings reminded me that one thing I wanted to do while living in such a central location in Europe, was to visit at least once all the countries where my ancestors emigrated from. I had an amazing first visit to Poland last year. I have also been to Italy a few times already but I have long wanted to make a trip to Sicily where my paternal grandmother's family came from. So, I am very much excited to have booked a long weekend in May to explore a little bit of Sicily! So far it is just me and my camera going (that's enough in my book!) but there is a good possibility another friend of mine from the States, also of Sicilian decent, will be able to work the trip in around a business trip to London.

Inspired by the island...

Snake

A snake came to my water-trough
On a hot, hot day, and I in pyjamas for the heat,
To drink there.
In the deep, strange-scented shade of the great dark carob-tree
I came down the steps with my pitcher
And must wait, must stand and wait, for there he was at the trough before
me.

He reached down from a fissure in the earth-wall in the gloom
And trailed his yellow-brown slackness soft-bellied down, over the edge of
the stone trough
And rested his throat upon the stone bottom,
i o And where the water had dripped from the tap, in a small clearness,
He sipped with his straight mouth,
Softly drank through his straight gums, into his slack long body,
Silently.

Someone was before me at my water-trough,
And I, like a second comer, waiting.

He lifted his head from his drinking, as cattle do,
And looked at me vaguely, as drinking cattle do,
And flickered his two-forked tongue from his lips, and mused a moment,
And stooped and drank a little more,
Being earth-brown, earth-golden from the burning bowels of the earth
On the day of Sicilian July, with Etna smoking.
The voice of my education said to me
He must be killed,
For in Sicily the black, black snakes are innocent, the gold are venomous.

And voices in me said, If you were a man
You would take a stick and break him now, and finish him off.

But must I confess how I liked him,
How glad I was he had come like a guest in quiet, to drink at my water-trough
And depart peaceful, pacified, and thankless,
Into the burning bowels of this earth?

Was it cowardice, that I dared not kill him? Was it perversity, that I longed to talk to him? Was it humility, to feel so honoured?
I felt so honoured.

And yet those voices:
If you were not afraid, you would kill him!

And truly I was afraid, I was most afraid, But even so, honoured still more
That he should seek my hospitality
From out the dark door of the secret earth.

He drank enough
And lifted his head, dreamily, as one who has drunken,
And flickered his tongue like a forked night on the air, so black,
Seeming to lick his lips,
And looked around like a god, unseeing, into the air,
And slowly turned his head,
And slowly, very slowly, as if thrice adream,
Proceeded to draw his slow length curving round
And climb again the broken bank of my wall-face.

And as he put his head into that dreadful hole,
And as he slowly drew up, snake-easing his shoulders, and entered farther,
A sort of horror, a sort of protest against his withdrawing into that horrid black hole,
Deliberately going into the blackness, and slowly drawing himself after,
Overcame me now his back was turned.

I looked round, I put down my pitcher,
I picked up a clumsy log
And threw it at the water-trough with a clatter.

I think it did not hit him,
But suddenly that part of him that was left behind convulsed in undignified haste.
Writhed like lightning, and was gone
Into the black hole, the earth-lipped fissure in the wall-front,
At which, in the intense still noon, I stared with fascination.

And immediately I regretted it.
I thought how paltry, how vulgar, what a mean act!
I despised myself and the voices of my accursed human education.

And I thought of the albatross
And I wished he would come back, my snake.

For he seemed to me again like a king,
Like a king in exile, uncrowned in the underworld,
Now due to be crowned again.

And so, I missed my chance with one of the lords
Of life.
And I have something to expiate:
A pettiness.

D.H. Lawrence
Taormina, 1923

Pasta!

2010-01-27T11:26:00.004+01:00

I found myself unexpectedly home on Monday night and the first priority was a good home cooked meal. I made a simple but delicious arrabiata sauce. Hot and spicy - perfect to fight the chilly, snowy weather! The stay was short-lived and I am off to Frankfurt tonight for a couple of days.

Posted from Munich

Mañana

2010-01-25T01:15:00.001+01:00

So where were we? It's been a couple of weeks that feel like much, much longer.

Last I wrote I was in Mexico to wrap up a final trip for my client. A lot of people had been rotating in and out of the region, but I had been the one continuous thread and so it was that I received a call two days before Christmas (on week 3 of my month long vacation) from my client asking if I could go back one final time in January. I had not received any solid offer for a new project so reluctantly I agreed to go. Reluctantly, because at that moment I still had a new boyfriend and was very much looking forward to spending at least weekends at home. I booked the flight for the earliest possible departure, January 5, and planned to return on Friday January 15th, landing evening in Munich on January 16th. Normally I would go home on Thursday, however since I was already missing a couple of days of the first week I thought it better to stay on through the end of the second work week.

I was numb leaving Munich, imposing a kind of emotional freeze so I could move forward with the next steps. Once again, things had fallen through with A. and this time I decided to put him fully out of my life. I was somewhat sad that all that I had looked forward to in December with visits, visitors and time at home in Munich was behind me and didn't want to dwell on that either.

Twenty minutes before the taxi was scheduled to arrive to take me to the airport, I had not even started packing, as if hoping it wasn't really so that I was leaving. I got my things together, the priority being my camera gear as I had fully regretted not bringing it with me on the second trip to Mexico, hopped in the car, and watched Munich disappear once again in the rearview mirror.

While in Mexico, a kind of thawing took place. On my first day, I participated with the colleagues in the cutting of the Rosca de Reyes, a tradition on January 6th, where a large oval of sweet bread covered in dried fruit and containing baby figurines is cut by all the people, one by one. Those who find a baby figurine in their piece have to host a celebration on Candelaria on February 2nd.

The warmth of the people more than compensated for the chilly January weather. Yes, it gets quite cold in Quéretaro and since it tends to last at most a couple of weeks, the buildings are very seldomly heated. We huddled in our offices bundled up in coats and scarves as the temperatures hovered around freezing.

When the weekend came, I felt relaxed and happy and, well, quite well on the way to recovery. Everything was coming along very well at work. I had no responsibilities over the weekend and plenty of time to explore, take pictures, sample more of the delicious cuisine and enjoy the gradually improving weather. And I wasn't thinking of what's-his-name any longer. I was back in my element, traveling, exploring and making friends.

I went to dinner on Saturday night fairly late on the famous old square in town. No sooner had a I sat down when an older gentleman at the next table decided I was the woman for him. He was in his 60s and fueled up on tequila and cerveza professed his love, loudly and in Spanish, to me for the benefit of the whole restaurant. Something about the whole situation tickled me and I was giggling. It was sweet but short-lived. His friend escorted him out of the restaurant, smiling and shaking his head.

On Sunday, I spent the day strolling around town, as did many of the locals, trying to capture the look and feel of Quéretaro with my trusty camera. I spent more than an hour sitting in one square, waiting for the perfect moment of a bird in flight, content to warm myself in the sun and enjoy the slow pace of life that day.

As Monday approached of my final week, I started to feel a tug of sadness to leave this place where I felt so content. There were dinners with the colleagues from Mexico and others in town for workshops from Brazil, Argentina and Colombia. I paid a few visits to Wicklow's Irish pub where the live music is always fantastic. I particularly liked one band called Pilaseca who cast a happy spell over the crowd as we danced along while they played their hearts out. I even started to understand some Spanish.

Inevitably, Friday arrived and as I piled into the big SUV and started heading down the dusty road for the final time with the team, I wanted to pull the emergency break and stay, just a little bit longer. We said our goodbyes and then I climbed into a car with two Brazilian colleauges and our driver to start the two hour drive to the airport.

Some storms were coming through and I was regretting there was no time for photography. The mountains with the black clouds and the sun poking through looked spectacular. From time to time an enormous rainbow would shoot down from the sky and all I could think was I must come back here again!

While I was daydreaming away about moving to Mexico, we came to a sudden stop. It looked like an accident a short way up the highway and I figured with over an hour of contingency built into the trip we would be back on our way in no time. Soon enough we found out that there was no way I would be making my flight that night. I called and rescheduled for the next night and we continued on to try to get the Brazilian colleagues home. Their flight was two hours later than mine so maybe there was still a chance.

Everyone in the car was glancing nervously at me to see how I was reacting to missing my flight. I put on a big smile and said 'Mañana'. With that the mood in the car picked up and soon enough we were laughing and telling stories. It was five hours to the airport but it passed quickly and the Brazilian colleagues made it just in time to catch their flight at 11 PM.

I was dropped at a hotel in Mexico City where some other colleagues who had flights on Sunday were planning to join the next day and wondered for the 100th time in my life, how did I end up here? In the morning I took advantage of an early start and went to the supermarket across the street and loaded up on Mexican goodies to bring back to Munich. As I entered the lobby with all my bags, I saw the other colleagues who were checking in and soon enough I was whisked away to go sight seeing with the four of them.

We saw the pyramids, went to a nice lunch and then it was time for me to go to the airport. The others were planning to go see the Basilica of Guadalupe and go out to a cantina in the evening. Again, I felt sad at leaving and when they suggested I stay on one more night, I though, well....yes!

With a big smile, I said 'Airport Mañana', and there was laughing and cheering. I started to wonder if I could Mañana myself into a week, or two, or more but a new project was waiting at home so I knew I better enjoy my last 24 hours in Mexico City.

We saw the Basilica, which was a very touching place, and walked around the area watching a spectacular sunset over the city. I happened to be with four Catholics and we bought some votive candles and took some time to remember our loved ones, both here and gone. When we departed we were all deep in our thoughts and it was the most somber moment of the day, a bonding moment nevertheless.

So what else could be next? Tequila shopping because everyone wanted to bring some back home with them. After long discussions on which kind and how many to buy, we finally headed over to Tenampa, a famous Mexican Cantina, where there was plenty of tequila, mariachi, Mexican snacks to eat and red roses for the ladies. We donned sombreros and learned to drink tequila the Mexican way and soon enough the Mariachis came to serenade us with their songs.

My friends acted as translators, taking turns to tell me what the Mariachis were singing. By far my favorite was Bésame, Bésame Mucho, which I already knew but it is such a beautiful and haunting song and perfect for that weekend that was passing all too quickly, no matter how I hung on to every moment.

Sunday was no less perfect, warm and sunny and we spent 3 hours having a lazy lunch on a rooftop overlooking the main plaza of Mexico city. A last stroll and it was finally over, time to head to the airport and say goodbye for now. Until Mañana...

Posted from Munich

Sunday in Mexico

2010-01-11T01:24:00.004+01:00

I really think I might retire here if I make it that far.

Posted from Queretaro, Mexico

I Love Winter

2010-01-09T16:55:00.008+01:00

Obertauern, Austria

After turning down a year long project in Mexico and Sao Paolo, I have continued on with my client on a week to week basis supporting the program manager with various tasks including spending quite a bit of time in Mexico since October. It was a difficult decision to say no for various reasons but in the end, and with a nudge from my boss and friends, I was reminded of my priorities and decided to spin the wheel again to try for something in Europe so I could be home on weekends at least.

Nothing happened for awhile and it looked like I would be having some time off after this trip to Mexico, having decided that it would be my last. This week, however, two opportunities came up and I am now confirmed to start a project in another week in Germany. Not in Munich, but a 3 hour train ride away. There are not too many details so far but through a series of events over the last year and a half it turns out I will be working with a number of my former client colleagues from Basel. Small world but in this time of limited opportunity, those references got me the job and it will be good to see most of them again.

Anyhow, enough about work. Where I am going with this is that I am ecstatic to have my weekends in Munich this winter. Especially because Munich is close to the Austrian Alps. That means lots and lots of skiing!

I have made two trips already this winter. The first was to Obertauern with my sis and her boyfriend in December. It was wickedly cold and snowy but good fun nonetheless. They did great compared to my first time skiing in the Alps when I spent most of the day faceplanting and holding back tears at my lack of skill. Maybe I set the bar low though.

I went again last weekend with two new friends who are actually snowboarders. For the first time I went via bus from the Munich Hauptbahnhof and can highly recommend that to fellow Müncheners. For 54 Euros you get the ride to and from, a much giggled butterbrezen and coffee breakfast, a newspaper, a ski pass and glühwein on the trip home. The bus left at 6.50 and we were at the mountain at 8.50.

One of my friends, who I have adopted as my little brother, is 21 and has no fear despite being new at boarding, earning him the nickname Gumby for the day. My other friend is a bit more experienced boarder so we had a good time laughing at little bro's misadventures. The day went well with no major incidents and we decided to knock off a bit early as the slopes were steep and our legs were getting too tired to do much more. A quick run down to the bus and then a weißbier were the plan until we took a wrong turn.

We came to the only option down - a trail marked with a red diamond. We weren't sure what that meant but decided we should be able to manage if we took it easy. Ooops!! We reached a sign once we hit the point of no return that said 'Just For Experts'. We took a look at each other, thought about how we spent most of the day on the intermediate trails, and said, We're experts, right?

We did not know it but we had just signed ourselves up to go down a series of stomach-in-throat inducing ice cliffs separated only be slightly less dizzying icy slopes. Section by section we made our way down, thighs, calves and butts screaming from the effort. What I found most amazing was that a couple of years ago, I would not have been able to do it. Not that I am much better of a skiier now, but mentally I would have just frozen. It had happened on much easier slopes before. While none of us really enjoyed the experience, it was achievable and bonding. We all get a giggle now if someone says, For Experts Only, thinking of our sorry selves struggling down the mountain.

Posted from Queretaro, Mexico

First Term Over

2010-01-06T12:03:00.002+01:00

Today marks four years since I boarded that plane to start a new life in Germany. I can't help feeling a little nostalgic about that girl with the butterflies in her stomach, love in her heart, a curious mix of joy and sadness in her head and absolutely no clue what she was about to get herself into. The only thing I knew for sure then was that life was about to change in ways I could not predict.

On Monday, I paid a visit to the Place that Shall Not Be Named. Perhaps there, during my two hour wait to register my new address and try to track down my lohnsteuerkarte, which had not arrived last year in my complicated moving and mail forwarding scheme, I could see just how far I have come. I was not stressed. I was not sweating. I was not in tears. I was just patiently waiting, knowing what I needed to do and knowing how to manage the discussion in German so long as we could speak slowly. It all worked beautifully and I left with a proud smile on my face.

The last four years have been an amazing experience and I would do it all again, oh yeah I would. Despite the ups and downs, the fun, the pain, the losses and the gains, and how it has fundamentally changed me as a person, I would not change taking that plunge. Someday I hope I can articulate why I have loved this experience and continue to love living in Munich so much. For now it remains difficult to explain in any simple way, especially to those who have not been through something similar.

I have a hope too, one that I was reminded of in the last days of so many mixed feelings. I am tentive after being burned again. I am looking for stability and roots after years of wandering. At the same time, I hope I never become afraid to take a leap of faith and to explore the world, myself and most importantly the others in my life. For I have found that to love may mean to lose, to move forward may mean having to leave something behind and to gain something worthwhile means throwing yourself out there and taking real risks.

Now I am looking for a balance between all these things that make me tick. Here's to whatever comes next!

Posted from Queretaro

2010

2010-01-01T10:48:00.002+01:00

My month off is drawing to a close and oh what a ride it has been!

In early December I arrived back in Munich from Mexico full of big plans and very much looking forward to a break filled with friends, family, a new boyfriend and fun. The first week I spent as much time as possible with my Munich friends and working on my much neglected apartment. I celebrated another birthday and as far as those things go when you reach a certain age it was a nice one. I celebrated the night before with some of my friends to toast in the day and the next evening with my boyfriend over a nice dinner and bottle of wine.

The second week saw the arrival of my sister and her boyfriend. I had tears in my eyes when they arrived at the airport. Three years since they had been here and I was so excited to see them in town and show them around during the Christmas season. The weather took a turn for the cold, then colder but we also had a full week of beautiful snow. We went hiking, sledding, skiing in Austria, tested out glühwein and feuerzangenbowle, visited the famous Hofbrauhaus and less famous bars, ate Bavarian food, shopped for yarn, ornaments and my very first Christmas tree and generally a good time was had by all. All too fast it was over and we were flying out on the 19th back to the US.

I spent one week in Connecticut with my family and also trying to keep up with the Facebook phenomenon - seeing old friends who I have become reacquainted with due to Facebook. Perhaps I will write up a bit of those experiences at a later date.

I cooked Christmas Eve (bleu-cheese crusted filet mignon, apple and gorgonzola salad and scalloped potatoes) and Christmas day (appetizers, turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, homemade cranberry sauces, green beans, caramel apple pie) dinners. Poor Dad volunteered to do all the food shopping with me not realizing how slow and painful I am with that stuff. Mom and I did our traditional spa/girl-bonding day. I visited all my grandparents and my aunt. I even found some time to photograph and play with all the cats my friends and family own. By all accounts a good visit, although it is always a bit sad to leave again.

I arrived back in Munich this past Sunday very much looking forward to the New Year build up and party. For a few months now my friend C. from Norway had planned to come spend a few days in Munich. Two other friends, married to each other, were also planning on visiting for a couple of days although a personal situation and some travel problems kept them from joining. As hectic as everything had been with visits and travel, I hadn't seen or heard too much from the new boyfriend and was looking forward to some time with him too. We had planned to join all the friends up and spend New Year's together at one of the big brauhaus's in town and I anticipated a very fun time for the gang.

However, on returning I got that kind of 'something is off' feeling from Mr. New BF. He was acting very aloof and despite not having seen much of each the last couple of weeks, he didn't seem to be too anxious to see me when I returned. I chalked it up to the fact that he had his own visitors in town and was running them around sightseeing, snowboarding and the usual drill. My friend C. arrived and we got busy with our own plans. She had never been to Munich although we have been friends for a few years now. Despite the cold rainy weather, I wanted to at least show her some of the beauty and charm of Munich.

I have to say that New Year's is my least favorite holiday as a general rule. It makes people a bit too crazy in my opinion. Everyone tries to take stock of their lives, assess the year past, make goals for the future year and the Life Happiness Barometer is out. There is a lot of anxiety around the plans for the actual night with the exception of the few who just choose not to deal with it at all. And I have seen way too many NYE plans falling short or over the top, in the end leading to disappointment, arguments, and much money spent on a letdown.

Being the overthinker that I am, I did my personal 2009 assessment and found that while there were some highlights, it wasn't really my best year. I spent a lot of it coping. Coping with the aftermath of my breakup with M., coping with a somewhat disappointing year in my career, coping with short term apartments, frequent moves, lots of long distance travel, and coping with a general sense that my life had become kind of aimless and lonely. Yes, I wasn't too unhappy to see 2009 in the rearview mirror.

I realized there were some good things about 2009 too though. First and foremost, the decision to come back to Munich, get a home base and start putting down some roots was the best part. Seeing those seeds I planted start to grow as I learn more about the city, make more friends and feel like there is some anchor in my life has been worth the fight.

As New Year's Eve day started I made peace with my mixed feelings on 2009 and looked forward to the evening ahead and the start of 2010. Then the other shoe dropped. Mr. New Boyfriend decided to call it quits on us. There are not too many words to express how I felt yesterday when the rug was pulled out from under me. Even though I sensed something was not right, I thought once we got past the holidays we could reconnect and see how things would go. However, with things just getting started, there wasn't enough of a foundation to see us through the last weeks, at least on his side.

So I did what I do when these things happen. I went for a long run. I didn't spend too much time trying to find an explanation or criticizing him or myself. There was too much of that already this past year. I just wanted to clear my head, accept it and start the process of moving on.

I was a bit in the lurch too about what to do for NYE. With my friend in town, I still wanted to have a fun night, as much as possible but it is not easy in Munich to just drum something up a few hours ahead of time. There is much to be said about serendipity though. After a couple of hours getting dolled up with my hairdresser, who did our hair, makeup and generally pumped up our mood with his flirtation, flattery and funny outlook on life, we soon found ourselves having dinner with a bunch of Scots at one of my friend's houses. Haggis anyone? And can you not help but feel a little better listening to a bunch of Scottish accents and wit? From there we headed off to P1, where we had managed to get on the guest list for their masquerade ball. I still had never been to the famous P1 and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. We donned our masks and headed into what has to be one of the coolest clubs I have ever been to. We stayed there for champagne toasts, then watched their amazing fireworks display outside. An hour later we headed through the streets of Baghdad, err I mean post-midnight Munich, to my favorite bar for a bit more dancing and to catch up with more friends. It was, all things considered, a good night and no tears shed, thank you.

So today the girls are coming over to enjoy a delicious smoked salmon my friend C. brought from Norway, served traditional Norwegian style. I will go for another run. And so the New Year starts....

Happy New Year everyone!! Much love, health, happiness and positivity for 2010!

Posted from my home in Munich

Christmas Greetings from Connecticut

2009-12-25T14:55:00.004+01:00

My first ever German Christmas tree (and for that matter my first ever Christmas tree). Thanks to my sis and her boyfriend for a great visit to Germany and helping me with this project! To my parents' horror, we lit it with real candles. Absolutely beautiful though!

I hope you all have a beautiful and memorable Christmas day spent just as you would wish!

Posted from East Hampton, CT

Calmness

2009-12-11T13:21:00.004+01:00

As forwarded on by a friend of mine today...
I am not quite sure this is what dear Oprah had in mind, but nevertheless a nice interpretation. I have a lot to finish today myself...

CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Oprah show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr. Oz proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.'

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Tequila, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Posted from Munich

Name the Place

2009-11-26T21:56:00.003+01:00

If this rings any bells, please let me know where it is...

Warmish in January/February
Easy weekend trip from Munich (by air)
Photogenic city or scenery
Walkable upon arrival (i.e. no rental car needed)
Good wine aplenty
Suitable night life for 30-something year old single women
Tall, dark and handsome men*

*Nice to have

Yes, I volunteered to plan a girls weekend getaway and am looking for ideas!

First thoughts were Spain - Malaga, Alicante, Valencia or something like that. Italy or Portugal may be nice too but open to exploring any suggestions on or off the beaten path.

Posted from Cuernavaca

Looking Forward

2009-11-25T22:44:00.003+01:00

I am back in Mexico once again.

This time it's a shorter trip. I arrived Monday night and will leave on Thursday December 3.

Unfortunately it has gotten a bit more unpleasant this time as the stress levels of many are increasing and the tempers are flaring. Frequent outbursts and shouting matches are becoming more common.

So, as I do during these times to keep my own cool, I take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Context and perspective are everything or you become one of the madmen yourself.

Fortunately for me I am looking ahead to a nice long holiday period to cap off the completion of another project. From December 4 to January 4 I am hanging the 'Gone Fishin' sign on my door, turning off the mobile and the laptop (for work related purposes) and taking a time out.

As much as I like my job, it's been a stressful year and with more and more frequency I have been getting ill and finding it harder to shake it off and recover. That means it's time to decompress from the hyperintensive demands of my job.

So what am I doing with this time off? Quite simply, spending it with friends and family. No exotic trips. No adventures. Just time with loved ones.

*Champagne Brunch and Secret Santa with my SATC Girls*
*Christmas Market Carousing with my Sis and her BF in Munich*
*Roly Poly Fat Cat Randy Reunion*
*Spa Silliness with Mom*
*Christmas in Connecticut*
*A Very Bavarian New Year's Eve*
*A Little German Style Birthday Gathering*
*And...Some Time with My Boyfriend*

Yeah, that's right. I said boyfriend.

Posted from Cuernavaca

Exploring Germany

2009-11-24T10:43:00.004+01:00

It is always a little bit shocking that after four years in Germany I have still not been to Berlin or Hamburg. They are both an easy weekend's trip away but for one reason or another, despite several loosely laid plans to go, the trips never materialized. Therefore when a last minute offer came up to go to Hamburg this weekend, I jumped on the chance. It was only 15,000 air miles for the RT flight, hotel booked on points and 31 Euros for a Hamburg card for three days for 2. Cheap!

I was in for a surprise with the city as well. M. used to work there for about a year and had never liked the city at all so I had a negative perception of what it would be like under his influence. In fact, I thought it was a great city for a weekend getaway. I can't speak to liveability as that is always different than spending a weekend for a visit but I would go back anytime for a visit.

Guide books in tow we visited some of the main tourist attractions - harbor tour, walk through the city, gawking at the Reeperbahn, church tower climbing, a spice museum visit, shopping and dining and even the infamous Fischmarkt for a 7 AM breakfast with the crowds arriving alternately from the bars after a long night out and their beds after a good night's sleep.

Friday night we met up with a very fun and easy going bunch of expats who adopted us for an evening of tapas and great chat. Hopefully some of them find themselves in Munich for a visit sometime soon. It would have been nice to meet up with the Hamburger bloggers but I was beyond organizing anything as it was so last minute. However, I would fully support a WEBMU up that way anytime to come visit again!

I had forgotten how much fun an evening in an Irish pub could be and really enjoyed Murphy's Irish pub for some pints of Guinness and a sing along with the live music. In fact during the weekend we checked out four Irish pubs - there seems to be no shortage of them in Hamburg.

Ironically, we also had a good dose of Bavaria in Hamburg. We could not resist the pull of the oompah music issuing out onto the street in the Reeperbahn and headed into a large bar where the atmosphere could only be described as Oktoberfest-like. I don't recall the name of that one but heard many of the Oktoberfest favorites.

The harbour tour was fascinating to me. The flow of boats and goods through the Hamburg Harbour is really a rather impressive logistics operation. Unfortunately we got a bit soaked on the tour and the photos are not the best. It decided to start raining just after we left the dock and came to a stop only once we returned. Typical. Hamburg hair is a bit of a nightmare.

Posted from Cuernavaca

Away We Go

2009-11-15T00:03:00.003+01:00

I rarely write about movies, which is kind of odd given how much I love the movies. Well, I love the idea of the movies. There is only the rare film though that touches me in one way or another, whether it be a good laugh, a good cry, a good scare or leaves me with something to think about more than five minutes after the movie ends. If a movie leaves that kind of impression on me, I usually buy it to add to my collection and enjoy watching it again from time to time. I don't own very many movies though.

Last weekend when I was sick I watched Away We Go directed by Sam Mendes and starring John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph as Burt and Verona, an unmarried couple expecting their first child and searching for their own place to call home. I can't quite figure out what worked for me in this movie but work it did. I think it was just the right combination of sweet and funny and sad.

The music was perfect too, featuring Alexi Murdoch, who I had never heard of before but I ended up buying the soundtrack I enjoyed it so much.

I made it back to Munich from Mexico last night and am trying to get my bearings. I am jet-lagged, confused about the seasons and the weather and still facing a nearly empty apartment that seems hopeless to ever get set up and furnished. I had planned to do some furniture shopping today but didn't fall asleep last night until about 4.30 and then ended up sleeping until almost 2. Eventually I got on my bike, went down to Marienplatz to run a few errands and then came home to do some cooking. Homemade soup for dinner and banana-chocolate-chip muffins for breakfast tomorrow.

I'm up early for a bike tour tomorrow so hope I get some sleep tonight!

And it's back to Mexico in a week.

Posted from Munich

Heavenly...

2009-11-10T22:36:00.002+01:00

I did something naughty.

I bought a Heavenly Bed.

I am not alone.

Hopefully only a few weeks until the first running dive into the bed...poooooooooooooofffffffffffffffff!

Posted from Cuernavaca, Mexico

San Miguel de Allende

2009-11-10T04:47:00.003+01:00

Last Saturday, a colleague and I headed to San Miguel de Allende for some sight seeing. This town was really a joy to photograph. I felt the urge to posess the whole town through my lens. When I am in a place and I really want to see and experience it, I need my camera with me. It provides a connection and I find myself dwelling on the smallest details one moment and the next trying to figure out how to sum up all the parts into one special photo. Fortunately my colleague was indulgent and let me potter around at my own pace. Normally I can only do the kind of exploring I like alone; most don't have the patience to wait for me.

There were so many inviting courtyards. From the street you felt only like you were in a city but through the doors you could see the oasis waiting inside. This was a hotel we passed by and it took a lot of self control not to wander in. I wonder how they know how to put it together like this?

We happened to be in town for a special weekend of festivities. As part of that, around late afternoon on Saturday October 31, a number of mariachi bands started to arrive and soon enough they started playing their beautiful music, first one band in one corner of the park, then the next, round and round. The people laughed and danced. For even though the following days were for remembering the dead, they were also for remembering the happiness of the lives they lived.

These colorful displays of papers were hanging everywhere. If I understood correctly the different colors represent different months of the year. Mexico is already very colorful but these papers fluttering in the wind over the whole city took it up another notch and created a beautiful effect.

We came upon this lovely shop as we strolled around town. This mobile of glass humingbirds had me tempted as it looked so gorgeous against the sunlit courtyard behind it. The store was also full of tin star and glass lanterns, some so huge they could only belong hanging from a high ceiling in a dramatic entranceway.

The main cathedral in San Miguel. There were many to visit in town and we saw a number of them but this one was magnificent in the setting sun. The stones radiated a rosy warm pink as the sun dipped low and down below the people sat in the shade of the lemon trees listening to the mariachi bands.

Posted from Cuernavaca Mexico

Mexico Misery

2009-11-10T04:10:00.002+01:00

I love Mexico. Since the first time I came to Cabo San Lucas for a week long girls get away to the trips to magical Tulum with M., I always enjoy the time I spend here. Over the years I have been to Cancun, Cozumel, Tulum, Puerto Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas and now Querétero and Cuernavaca. They are all special in their own way.

There is always one downside. It seems inevitable that Montezuma joins the trip at some point. Not that you wanted to know that but there it is. The first time I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as all four of us on the girls get away were struck on the same day while sharing a very small hotel room (2 double beds, 1 small bathroom, no soundproofing). In the end I opted for laughing as each one dashed into the bathroom as soon as the previous could vacate. That trip marked the end of the college student cost cutting approach to vacations. We all have to grow up sometime. I want my own bathroom in countries prone to making travelers sick.

Then there was the time in Cancun when a hurricane was bearing down on us, we needed to try to evacuate a day early but didn't dare to leave ourselves in a situation where we could be more than 1.5 seconds from the nearest toilet. We made it on the last plane to leave the airport. Very Casablanca.

It was also great fun after being out of all contact with the rest of the world for a week when M. and I landed in the chaos of the first day of the new liquids ban in Philadelphia airport from Mexico and the wait at the checkpoints was hours long. Neither of us was up to that at the moment but had to soldier on to Boston.

We will leave out the 'surprise' business trip to India right after returning to Europe from Mexico on that occasion.

This time I am here for work but no exception to the rule. One and a half weeks into the trip and after enjoying mexican food, limonatas galore and maybe some fruit that was not officially on the safe list it was game over. I spent a crampy, miserable long weekend (thankfully alone) in my hotel room two hours south of Mexico City wondering whether I hoped I would or would not just die already.

As my mother said, why didn't you go to the doctor? Actually it was more like, WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR! Simple. Do you want to have an error in translation resulting in a treatment that makes you worse than you started when in Mexico? Me neither. I am sensitive enough to drugs and rarely even take aspirin if I can avoid it. Today, I finally caved in and went to the doctor.

I asked him politely to please not kill me, flashing him my friendliest smile. Not sure he got that. Or maybe I had the expression of a crocodile. Anyhow, he doled out the drugs and let's hope I am on the road to recovery. It is a 21 hour trip door to door on Thursday night to get home. Crossing fingers for no new world crises, screening procedures at the airport, long waits in traffic, and trips to other countries with their own set of special critters in the food and water.

I am more than ready to get home. But would I come back? Yeah.

Posted from Cuernavaca, Mexico

Halloween In Mexico

2009-11-02T03:58:00.004+01:00

The moon is full tonight and Mexico is celebrating the day of the dead. A parade will take place tonight where friends and family head to the cemetary to leave little gifts for the deceased, gifts made of sugar, as it is expected that tonight the souls come down for a feast. While this is loosely tied to the Catholic All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day on November 1 and 2 respectively, the celebration can actually be traced back thousands of years to an Aztec tradition.

Posted from Querentaro, Mexico

Mexico!

2009-10-31T06:58:00.001+01:00

In Mexico for work for 3 weeks, but my camera is never far behind.

Posted from Querétaro, Mexico

Kitty Cats

2009-10-25T19:41:00.002+01:00

I went for a bike ride today and my camera rode sidecar. I happened to see these little guys peeking out the window at the world going by. Lucky the glass was there or I would have tried to bring them home with me!